Guy is interested in me, but the feeling is not mutual..

[maria90]

I am currently studying at university and just recently a guy who lived in my halls last year has been contacting me on facebook. I only actually saw him three or four times last year, and we were always drunk and tbh we hardly even spoke.

The other week he started talking to me on FB chat and asked me out for a drink with him, I dindn't know what to say, because my ex of 4 years recently broke up with me and I have been so heartbroken and cut up over it all. I said we could go on a night out with a load of others, to try make it obvious I wasn't interested in anything more than friendship.

He's still talking to me, every time asking me round for dinner, or to take me out, to meet in the day and spend time together. I have not lead him on at all, instead either ignored what he's wirtten or said that a group of us shoudl do something, to try make it clear to him that I don't want to spend time alone together. I have also told him about my ex and said I have been down over it, he replied saying that it must be hard for me, but hes glad im single, to which I didn't say anything.

He has even been talking to my friend about me, saying he wants to make me his girl and he would do anything to be with me... she told him I'm still in love with my ex and to tred carefully.. he then told her he knows we can only be friends. So if that's the case, why is he still trying to get me alone? He's a really nice guy, but I just want to be his friend. I feel bad because I feel maybe I have led him on by not saying anything, but I don't want to upset him. He also said to my mate that if this doesnt work out (with me) then he's going off women for good.

I hardly know him, so don't understand why he's so interested in me, I'm a quiet and shy person, and hes completely the opposite. I need to say something to him to make how i feel clear, but i need to go about it in a way which won't upset or offend him... any ideas, guys?

One more thing, as guys if this was you in his position, would you think i'd been leading you on?

[oldskool83]

Your not ready, he wants a date with you alone. either tell him your not looking for anything right now, he will either go away or stay to be a friend.

from a guys point of view...never agree to do somthing with us if you have no real idea of what you want...we can take no for an answer...then when we move on.

[smackie9]

The guy keeps taking a shot at getting you to go out with him because YOU WON'T TELL HIM NO! Obsessed guys like him (he has it in his head that he is in love with you) , don't GET THE HINT, he only hears a possible yes or a maybe because you said and I quote "I said WE COULD go on a night out with a load of others". You are a big girl now, confrontation in these matters has to be done......just tell him you are not interested in dating him or other wise. Then proceed to take him off FB....then he should getthe hint.......if you don't be firm about this he is going to see that it's a maybe still and keep hoping that if he spends enough time with you, you will eventually fall for him. I know the type because they are the ones that keep posting on these sites.

[random bundy]

Don't say ''we can go out in a group'', even if that seems like obvious rejecting to you, he might think there's still a small chance for him. Instead, say: ''We can't go out alone''. Us men usually need a direct answer. So a clear ''no'' is required and everything will be ok

[jb1111983]

Tell him you are not interested in him. Yes, be direct or a guy like him will keep trying to win your heart. Also I don't see how you can be only friends with him when he has feelings for you.
The less you talk to him the better for you both.

[Mets]

Yeah I mean this is just echoing everyone else but you need to just make it clear to him that your not interested. I can tell you from my own experience, girls would have saved me a lot of trouble if they had just told me "NO" and were clear about it. Don't worry about hurting his feelings, he'll get over it and he barely knows you anyway. In the end he'll be grateful that you were just clear with him about your intentions.

[bulrush]

I said we could go on a night out with a load of others, to try make it obvious I wasn't interested in anything more than friendship.

That's called a date.

I have not lead him on at all,

Yes you did. You went on a date with him. See above. Doesn't matter what you said, what matters is what you did.

she told him I'm still in love with my ex and to tred carefully..

What a vague answer. No wonder he's after you still.

Tell him: "You're nice, but you and I will never be more that friends. Please stop texting/emailing/facebooking me."

It's direct and to the point.

[surfhb]

I agree with bulrush....you've led him on this whole time.

But why not go out with him? Your relationship is over with your ex. You could be missing out on your true love. You're afraid and that's ok but fear is our own worst enemy. Something to think about. .

Good luck!

[icantdrive55]

Tell the guy no and be rude about it too. Im kind of the same way I get obsessive and Id much rather a girl just tell me straight up rather than be vauge and indifferent. Ill lose some sleep and get depressed but after a week or so I get over it and it kind of feels good getting the uncertainty out of the way.

I dont think your leading this guy on, if you have never initiated contact, rarely talk to him, and ignored his requests for dates, he should get the point. At least i would have but hey everyones different