I don't like the way he talks.

[valmont]

sounds pretty lame to say to another person..for a man or a woman..

[IndiReloaded]

Some of you just don't get it. Interesting.

A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right.

[Lipp]

I still find it funny that dumping him because he called you bipolar reinforces the idea that you may actually be bipolar. But hey, if that's all it takes it's hardly as if either of you took things seriously, so live and let live.

[Trexy]

so because I don't like the comment getting laid that actually may make me bi-polar ha ha what is your definition of the illness?

[Wakeup]

I still find it funny that dumping him because he called you bipolar reinforces the idea that you may actually be bipolar. But hey, if that's all it takes it's hardly as if either of you took things seriously, so live and let live.

If you are of the thought of "live and let live" why the nasty comment that she may be bi-polar? Please is it really that hard to understand that why she broke up with him is because he is a disrespectful ass and she has enough self-worth to get out now before she's in over her head and he becomes even more disrespectful and verbally abusive once he knows her real well and takes her for granted.

People who are healthy of self-worth do not stick around people who continuously belittle them. They flush them quickly and are better off in the long run for it.

[IndiReloaded]

I still find it funny that dumping him because he called you bipolar reinforces the idea that you may actually be bipolar. But hey, if that's all it takes it's hardly as if either of you took things seriously, so live and let live.

Lipp, take away the whole "make love/sex/****/whatever" comment.

Imagine you raise an issue with your GF that is perhaps irksome but important to you. Something about her behaviour makes you feel bad or uncomfortable. Now imagine her response is not only to belittle your issue but to insult you for even raising it. Do you think this is reasonable behaviour for a loving partner?

[Lipp]

My irk with it was that #1 calling someone bipolar refers far more to someone being surprisingly emotional as opposed to the actually calling out the disorder (e.g. how calling someone a 'retard' means 'dumbass', not 'you must have cerebral palsy') and #2 that him laughing it off is immediately taken as a manic dracula-like cackle filled with contempt, and not just a "Wow, really?" chuckle of someone taken aback. So it seemed like an odd immediate break-up reason if that's the only real quirk to a serious relationship that may have been close to perfect in all other regards.

It would be different if it was raised more than just once (and with a similar response), or if the insult was something more...insulting. If it was a serious relationship, why jump the gun?

[IndiReloaded]

If it was a serious relationship, why jump the gun?

I don't know. Its a good question. 80% of communication is non-verbal so we are missing a lot of context. My guess is that its not a one-off problem, but who knows?

As for bipolar being an insult like 'retard'... really? I guess I'm out of the loop on what is considered acceptable slang these days. I feel old now, Lipp.

[Twiz]

My boyfriend and I often refer to it as just sex. Although I suppose when he feels more in a romantic/cute mood he has actually referred to it as "making love" before.
I don't favor one term or the other because to me I know how my boyfriend feels about me in and out of the bedroom which is respectful (although with some disagreements along the way but what relationship doesn't?). When my boyfriend has been in a more playful/dirty mood he has said something like "I will **** you so hard" but then again as vulgar as it sounds I personally don't find it offensive because 1) I know he's trying to talk "dirty" to turn me on and 2) I don't really mind cause I overall know how he feels about me (which is genuinely loving). But everyone is different in what they are comfortable with.

Though one time my boyfriend tried to talk dirty and used the word "bitch". Ironically I don't mind the word "****" but I did not like the word "bitch" even in a playful way. Which I told my boyfriend that word bothered me and he has never said that word again. As well as other things that have bothered me, I'll tell my boyfriend and when he realizes it makes me unhappy or how it affects me he will stop.

The fact that Trexy's ex did not respect her feelings and then was an ass about it was not acceptable. So it's good she moved on and now can find someone better.

[Lipp]

I don't know. Its a good question. 80% of communication is non-verbal so we are missing a lot of context. My guess is that its not a one-off problem, but who knows?

Information is king Like the pepper-spray incident that is all the rage now in regards to the OWS movement, but of course it cuts out the part before that where an officer spent a good ten minutes explaining to each and every one of the protesters that if they insisted on sitting there they would be forced to use the spray.

But I digress...

As for bipolar being an insult like 'retard'... really? I guess I'm out of the loop on what is considered acceptable slang these days. I feel old now, Lipp.

I'll try to clarify, they're not interconnected, just the same pattern. Silly forum can't do proper tables

Word----------------------Literally------------------------------------------------------------------------In Common Parlance
Bipolar------Person suffering from a bipolar disorder----------------------------------------------------Emotional
Retard------Person suffering from mental retardation appearing before adulthood-----------------Dumbass

I don't like either word, but still. Say for example I've been called emotionally cold previously by a girl, and sure, it annoyed me quite a bit, but it's still not at all in the ballpark of, say, if the guy called her a whore or something, and still way off to call a relationship off then and there because of it. Unless of course the girl is either quite emotional or the relationship wasn't serious.

[searock]

So what if the officer spent 10 minutes explaining?! They should NOT have used the spray agains peaceful protesters, there's no such thing as being "forced" to do it. Seriously!

If you talked to your gf about something that makes you very uncomfortable and would like reassurance and understanding, how would you like it if she called you bipolar (or retarded for that matter) instead of listening to you? Would you think "oh look how taken aback she is, wow she's so cool" or "what a disrespectful heartless bitch : ("?

I personally find the "bipolar" insult to be way more insulting than the "retarded" one because it makes fun of a person's emotions, rather than what a person says or does rationally. It's like making fun of a person because he/she is in love: something they have no control over whatsoever. Hearing it from your SO just makes it a hundred levels worse. It's like they were saying "I don't even care to listen to what you have to say, since you're clearly crazy it's not even worth the time".

[Lover14]

im sorry but i find this ridiculous. Yes if he was making fun of you or whatever with a bipolar comment, then he needs to learn some respect etc. However making him change the way he says things to please you is ridiculous. If he didn't like your accent would you change it for him?! If you don't like how he says it, don't give it to him, then he won't be asking/ mentioning it.

[Trexy]

i was'nt making him change anything,I told him I did not like his comment and he felt there was nothing wrong with what he said and then he added comment about me being bi-polar I decided I did not want to be in a relationship with a person that had no respect.What you just said makes it sound as though I should just take what he throws at me just because he does not see a problem with it.If I had said something that he did'nt like or anyone did'nt like I would say I was sorry and not say it again.I believe in communication and he did not we have had a few dissagrements and he alway's walked away from them.I think most of you here think I ended the relationship because of that one comment which is absolutley not the case.I came on the forum for some advice and I appreciate those that were understanding of the situation.

[vashti]

Good for you Trexy, being smart enough to realize that this is exactly what dating is for. Boyfriends/girlfriends are a "take it or leave it" kind of deal, and you are SUPPOSED to get rid of them if you find out things you don't like, whether or not anyone else in the world understands your motivation. It's not your responsibility to tolerate things you don't like. You aren't married, and you don't have children by him. Be as selective as you want to be before you are stuck for good.

[Trexy]

update:We were going to try and work things out and I said we should communicate instead of arguing I mentioned that the comment had offended me and that we should of talked about it,he started to raise his voice and he yelled at me to tell him ****ing now why the comment getting laid is so bad.I was shocked,then he tells me I should go to bed because obviously it is my bed time talking to me like I was a child.He had no desire to talk about how we could work on us and just wanted to yell at me.So I am happy that I ended the relationship and feel much better.Thank you again for your advice.