I have been approaching for years now...but all I got were rejections...need help.

[Atlas]

I am over 23 and I have never been on any kind of relationship or had any kind of experience with women... it's not that I didn't try...I did....I probably approached over 100 women so far...not counting the ones that were introduced to me by friends or family...but I was never able to get any of them to go on a date or become someone more that a friend...I don't think its my personality..I get a lot of credit from people I know and people I just meet...they all have great thing to say about the way I am....so the only thing left on the table I believe...is my appearance....


How looks are measured by women? ( is being tall, strong , handsome and alpha maleish that important?)

Does it matter if a guy has no experience at all?...or would that be strange since he is not that young anymore..

[searock]

You're 23 and you approached over 100 women?! Probably all the girls who know you know that you would go for ANY of them (or almost any). A woman (or a man for that matter) doesn't like to feel like she's just as good as the next.

Also, you're probably trying too hard. It may do you good to stop thinking about "getting a woman" so much and rather focus on your life, hobbies, friends.

[smackie9]

Actually what attracts women is your deminor, how you carry yourself when you walk into a room or when you are standing there talking. Confidence is key, but also able to be a little cocky, tease, and a friendly sense of humor, and able to keep the conversation flowing and interesting. That gets even unattractive guys attention.

Women are more on an emotional level, and not like guys who focus more on the physical. You have to find ways to stimulate their brains.....one method is the push and pull. You give only small amounts of attention, then you pull back, being distacted, playing kool, taking away the focus from them. Dopamine releases in their brain, when you become a challenge to them.....makes you desireable when you make yourself undesireable, and less available. Ever wonder why women throw themselves at the tough guy, the asshole, the guy with a rough past?

[flo_22]

I think its a case of maybe trying too hard. I've probably been guilty of the same thing in the past. There's nothing necessarily wrong with that, you just know what it is you want, but it might come across as you being fake or hiding something. There's that old cliched saying about 'it will come when you least expect it' and sometimes its what you give off that attracts someone. Approach someone you are attracted to by all means but take a different approach, don't make it a life and death situation, just leave not expecting too much. If things work out, great! If not, its not a big deal!

And looks and appearance obviously matter. But I don't think they are as important as they're made out to be. I think personality plays a bigger part in the long run. But don't beat yourself up about looks, everyone likes different things, (for example, my two closest friends and I all go for completely different types of guys) There'll be someone out there for you. Just focus on you in the meantime.

And experience doesn't mean much either. It'll probably be refreshing that you're not one of those guys who has a different girl every week. if you like someone enough, what they have experienced or haven't doesn't really mean a thing.

[girl68]

approaching a random women probably isn't the best way... approaching someone you have something in common might help your cause.

[Atlas]

Well..I did approach women that I had something in common with...they became great friends but that's it....don't get me wrong I still like them as friends....but I see every guy I know being successful with women....I didn't even start anything....I am way behind in the game....there's definitely something wrong with my appearance....

[MerryH]

there's definitely something wrong with my appearance....

Post a photo.

[Atlas]

here it is.....I hope they'll allow links in here..... [url=http://www.flickr.com/photos/65310156@N07/]Flickr: alex_mephisto's Photostream[/url]

[MerryH]

here it is.....I hope they'll allow links in here.....

Thank you.

That suit looks nice, but worn in the wrong setting, it will scream "DOUCHE." Also, I find your hairstyle very unattractive. And you should lose the rape face/blue steel look. Try a more relaxed pose and more casual clothing.

It's not your appearance, though. You have an attractive face and you look clean and dress well. That should net you at lease some action. So I guess that means that it's your personality or the way you approach people.

What's your usual approach? And what's your personality like?

[Sara E. Parker]

You are trying too hard.
Take a day break and get yourself some free time.

[searock]

Your appearance is definitely not the problem. You're quite good looking actually! But, I repeat, you're trying too hard. One can tell just by looking at the way you dress and by the expression on your face, the way you hold yourself, etc. I think that by approaching too many women, you give the impression that you don't really care about them, just as long as you "get" one.

[vashti]

It's definitely NOT your looks. In fact, I don't even believe you can't get a date. Trolling?

[smackie9]

Some facial hair might help (if possible).....around here it seems to be the going thing with the young dudes. Oh and lose that sweater.

[smackie9]

Well..I did approach women that I had something in common with...they became great friends but that's it....don't get me wrong I still like them as friends....but I see every guy I know being successful with women....I didn't even start anything....I am way behind in the game....there's definitely something wrong with my appearance....

If I had a dime for every time I heard this......you are not alone, there are many who are in your shoes. Yes the older you get the more difficult it's gonna be because girls are women now and they expect you to have some experience......not too many out there would get overly excited to find out you were a virgin..... as I have been told by others in a similar situation. What you should be doing in tapping into your females friends for information....they know you better than we do and I'm sure you will find one that will be honest with you.

[Mathias]

What you should be doing in tapping into your females friends

Hell yeah!