Cheating

[hopegrace]

Hi all!
i am a new member here. I feel so sad, upset and lonely because of my relationship going on. I have been together with my BF for 5 years; we leave together and everything seemed to be ok. He occasionally talks to me about having kids, future plans together, etc. The only problem is that once in a while I find signs and evidence that he is cheating on me. When I confront him, of COURSE, he denies everything. He is very generous and nice to me, we planned several vocation together next month. I just dont understand why he acts like that....Are all men like this?
I am very afraid that he will leave me, and I cant figure out what to do next.
Please give me some advice...I have been feeling bad with no sleep almost for 5 days now

[Wakeup]

I am very afraid that he will leave me,

Why, you have evidence that he's cheated and he hasn't left you yet. What makes you fear he's going leave you now when he knows all he has to do is say "no I'm not" and you'll believe him? It's much easier for him to stay with you and keep on, keeping on.

[stuckies]

Sounds like he has you on a leash.
what evidence?
why would you stay with someone who disrespects you?

[hopegrace]

I understand what you are saying -- I am a big girl already. But what confuses me is the fact that we are talking about future and kids! I dont understand why he cheats once in a while especially when he goes to business trips. Is it posiible for a man to love a woman and cheat?
Or I should assume that his feelings are not genuine?

[stuckies]

It's called future faking, maybe he does want those things - maybe with or without you, maybe to keep you happy and handing on.

Is cheating an act of love?

[Wakeup]

Honey: There are a million men out there that marry a woman because they love her and want her to bear their children but they do not plan on ever being monogamous. (even if you sexed him three times a day, every day) Not with you and not with anyone. It's up to you if you can handle his infidelities and still feel like you are the No.1 lifemate without insecurity.

Men who cheat where their wives knew
Ray Charles
John F. Kennedy
Gene Simmons
Tiger Woods (IMO) until he got stupid and His wife became demeaned and embarrassed
Many, many hockey players when they are on the road and surrounded by groupies

Just a few.

[hopegrace]

"why would you stay with someone who disrespects you?"
Because I LOVE him

Because he treats me sooo nice! (other than cheating part). we have great time together and we are together for 5 years. Besides being boyfriend and girlfriend, we are good friends. He helps me to deal with every day stress; I help him.

He spoils me and says very nice words almost every day!
"what evidence?"
Condom in his jacket while we never use it

[Wakeup]

"why would you stay with someone who disrespects you?"
Because I LOVE him

Because he treats me sooo nice! (other than cheating part). we have great time together and we are together for 5 years. Besides being boyfriend and girlfriend, we are good friends. He helps me to deal with every day stress; I help him.

He spoils me and says very nice words almost every day!
"what evidence?"
Condom in his jacket while we never use it

Then you need to decide what is more important to you. Your life together as is. Or you not accepting his infidelities and give up the life you love so much. He'll not change.

[stuckies]

"why would you stay with someone who disrespects you?"
Because I LOVE him

Because he treats me sooo nice! (other than cheating part). we have great time together and we are together for 5 years. Besides being boyfriend and girlfriend, we are good friends. He helps me to deal with every day stress; I help him.

He spoils me and says very nice words almost every day!
"what evidence?"
Condom in his jacket while we never use it

and he shows how much he loves you by sticking his cock in other women.

Is that life you want?
Is that the kind of man you want?
Honestly??

[hopegrace]

You must be a man wakeup!
Yea probably the choice is after me. I have been a wreck for the past few days; I cant be strong ; I cant leave him because besides his cheating part, he has sooo many positive things about him..

[hopegrace]

I dont; I just have NO power to leave him.
I am afraid that I wont have anyone better than him.
I am so scared that I am going to be 30 next yea and i dont have kids.
He just seems to me a perfect match.
and everyone sooooo jealous of me, because he is that good

I am sorry my writing is horrible, I am just very tired and depressed

[stuckies]

[QUOTE=hopegrace;779089]You must be a man wakeup!
Yea probably the choice is after me. I have been a wreck for the past few days; I cant be strong ; I cant leave him because besides his cheating part, he has sooo many positive things about him..[/QUOTE]

you won't leave because you haven't been humiliated enough and you're comfortable with things as they are. Is this all you're worth?

If you don't want advice what do you want?

I know it's hard, my dad was a cheat - I've seen what it does to families first hand. It's horrible and makes a mess of people. I know it led to me having a ton on trust issues with men and anger towards my mother - she didn't divorce him because it was easier for HER to stay, never mind what it was doing to her kids. If you want that for yourself and your kids keep going and cry in to your pillow.

[stuckies]

I dont; I just have NO power to leave him.
I am afraid that I wont have anyone better than him.
I am so scared that I am going to be 30 next yea and i dont have kids.
He just seems to me a perfect match.
and everyone sooooo jealous of me, because he is that good

I am sorry my writing is horrible, I am just very tired and depressed

He isn't that good - it's an illusion.

When you've calmed down you will realise it.

Never settle especially when it comes to a partner.

[hopegrace]

I dont want this for myself; I JUST CANT IMAGINE MY LIFE WITHOUT THIS PERSON ;(

[stuckies]

I dont want this for myself; I JUST CANT IMAGINE MY LIFE WITHOUT THIS PERSON ;(

that's understandable. focus on the life you do want and the kind of man you want, understand what are 100% deal breakers. For me it's cheating, no second chances.

What disturbs me is that he knows he's been rumbled AND still carries on.