I never seem to be the girl the guy wants

[pepper]

Hi,

So I always feel like I am rejected by men. I have had a guy who actually liked me...then got to know me. He told me he thought we would be better off as a friends. Then there was this other guy who I thought liked me but apparently thought we were just fooling around and said he could NEVER have feelings for me. He has told me that he is physically attracted to me, that he thinks I am nice, smart and funny...He also told me I didn't know him well enough to have feelings for him. However, he knows me well enough to know he could never have feelings for me. I always feel this way. So I asked him what is it about me that can make him so sure he could never have feelings for me. He hasn't responded. Am I the only person who thinks if there is a physical attraction between two people and they have fun together just hanging out...that it isn't impossible for there to be something between these two people?

[greentea11]

It sounds like that guy just wanted to have fun and it really wasn't you that he had a problem with. Something kinda like that happened to me, he didn't want to have a title and I ended it. I then later found out he was sleeping around and he did end up having feelings for me but it was too late. There are guys with issues. Try to find a guy that you know you're the only one he's talking to, he's respectful and wants to be in a relationship. Some will trick you though like the guy I was with, but if you pay attention after awhile you can see red flags. I was just dumb and ignored them.

[bulrush]

You know guys are visual creatures and they don't prefer heavy girls, right? So, since most girls are insecure about their weight, can you put your height and weight here? We'll tell you if you are "beyond the limit" so to speak.

But sometimes two people just don't "click". It's no one's fault, but there's just no attraction. I went out with a cute girl, very pleasant, good sense of humor, but we just didn't "click". She had all the elements I liked, but there was no attraction. It was the oddest thing. But, it happens.

[pepper]

I am 120lbs and 5'6". He told me he was no longer physically attracted to me and then fooled around with me again. He keeps saying we dont click but he says he has fun with me.

[skeeziix]

Listen to what the guy is telling you and follow your intuition it is usually always right, men aren't complicated. They will try to get their cake and eat it too. If you completely respected yourself you wouldn't allow this type of behavior in the first place...

[jamesfed]

It's not a just matter of respect, sometimes it's a matter of wanting to be with someone you like and your mind putting blinkers on hoping for the best....

But if they tell you it's a no go, then no more milkshake for them. At all. Not even a glance at the creamy goodness !

[Kaius]

I am 120lbs and 5'6". He told me he was no longer physically attracted to me and then fooled around with me again. He keeps saying we dont click but he says he has fun with me.

Why do you keep allowing him to fool around with you? You should have more self respect. A lot of men can have sex with women they don't even like. Men can separate out physical and emotional gratification.
There may not be anything wrong with you.... you just haven't met a guy who appreciates your inner self. Trust me, there is someone for everyone.... so don't feel obligated to put out for some disrespectful asshole.

[MaidenMinx]

Honey, I spent quite a while being told by sleaze balls I was "not girlfriend material". Then I went celibate. No more jerks. Simple.

[Dune]

I have a friend, who's a girl who feels just like you. She often says to me that she has trouble attracting the kind of guys that she likes because most of them aren't attracted to her (as she is quite the tomboy). As a consequence, she often returns to her ex, despite how unhealthy that relationship has become.

My advice: Don't compromise. Just be yourself and you'll find someone soon enough. Like someone mentioned in the above comments, there's someone for everyone. And in the mean time, have fun being single.

[pepper]

I have a friend, who's a girl who feels just like you. She often says to me that she has trouble attracting the kind of guys that she likes because most of them aren't attracted to her (as she is quite the tomboy). As a consequence, she often returns to her ex, despite how unhealthy that relationship has become.

My advice: Don't compromise. Just be yourself and you'll find someone soon enough. Like someone mentioned in the above comments, there's someone for everyone. And in the mean time, have fun being single.

What I don't understand about this man is that he is attracted to me. He told me how he thinks I am a nice and funny person. The last time we were fooling around he said I made him really horny. He just keeps telling me we don't have an intimate connection. We have known of each for like 13 years. Am I the only person who thinks that you could get to know someone and then fall for them? We have a physical connection and he told me he doesn't know me very well but you can't start a relationship when you just have a physical connection with someone. I think a physical attraction is step one in falling for someone. He told me himself that I couldn't like him because I didn't know him well enough but that he could never like me. It just doesn't make any sense to me. He told me we should cut off contact for a while until we both work out our issues and then maybe be friends after...but he said, "only time will tell." He has had issues with women before. A 8 year on and off again relationship with a woman he hasnt talked to since feb. He said she was narcassitic and caused a lot of stress in his life. Now he goes out partying all of the time...

[Dune]

Sounds like he has an issue more than you.

There is totally nothing wrong with getting to know someone first then falling for them after some time. It's different from love at first sight, but it is still love, complete with all the fuzzy warm feelings. However, some people like that spark thing. People have all sorts of preferences and what they deem worthy of investing their time in or not. Eg. some people search for that spark, some people search for someone who gives them butterflies every time they meet, some people search for that person that they can be comfortable with.

IMO, he doesn't sound too interested in having a committed relationship. Maybe it's still too soon?

[pepper]

I just get it. He told me before that he was no longer physically attracted to me and then months later we fool around again when he tells me how horny I make him. We don't have sex...just making out and whatnot. He then tells me he thinks we shouldn't make out anymore. I suggested maybe getting to know each other more and see if we had something. He said it may sound harsh but he has never had any romantic interest in me. He is now telling me we need to cut off contact for a while so we can both sort out our issues and then MAYBE be friends. We didn't talk for a cople of weeks but then I asked him what made him think I was a **** buddy type a girl...he said he didn't think I was it was just he wanted to put that idea out there. I asked him how he could be so sure that he could NEVER feel anything for me and he refused to respond. I told him I am not trying to change his mind it is just it makes me feel like something is wrong with me if someone can say he could NEVER like me. I told him I was worth more than a one night stand and I wanted to find someone who thought I had more to offer than just my body. He refuses to respond to me.

[AnnonymousMan]

Lose the loser and go find yourself a real man.