How to Deal With Your Girlfriend Ignoring You

[Tarlos]

I feel I can't cope on my own anymore so I have had to come here for advice because I feel like breaking down and crying
This will be quite a long post so I am sorry if I do drag on

My girlfriend firstly lives roughly 3 hours away from me so it is a long distance relationship but it was working or at least I thought it was, I'll start by saying she has been through a lot of crap, she has a child of an ex that had raped her, shes been with guys that have messed with her, cheated on her and done drugs etc.

About me I went from a 4 year relationship to a 5 month relationship before and the clingy-ness my ex had with me I think may have rubbed onto me and now I am in a relationship with this girl who has a child.

When we started talking we talked a lot, texting and on Facebook but now we hardly talk at all, a few times I have talked to her about this and she will say she doesn't know why or shes busy with the child, however when she texts me first which is very rare and I don't reply within an hour it's another story and she says i'm going off her or she don't like being ignored and feels the need to update her Facebook status rather than talk to me straight about it even though I have always replied to her messages, I still haven't heard from here since this time yesterday, it has been just over 24 hours since we have spoken.

I have seen her 4 times since being with her and 3 of the times I have stopped at her house but the last time I stopped a few days ago everything just got more complicated, before I stopped we were texting and she asked if we could change the date of me going over because apparently her Mum said I couldn't because my girlfriend had tripped over the baby and her Mum thought she did it on purpose, I said I couldn't as I have to book train tickets early to go and visit, when she told me this I thought it was a stupid excuse and I was being paranoid then that she even said that.

Anyway I did end up stopping and we had a great time together as always, I have noticed her Mum being funny though with me, not directly but she doesn't try to talk to me, I realize she might be funny with me as she knows what her daughter has been through and doesn't want me to be another guy that going to mess her about, i'm trying to get on with her but she comes across as very feminist for example we were watching Doghouse, a film with Danny Dyer in it and her Mum came out with something like "Hes a twat I don't like him he's full of himself, I don't care if hes acting or it's real life"
I know it's probably unrelated but it helps me to understand what her Mum can be like because I've saw it myself.

The day after I stopped, my girlfriend had text me saying If she weren't holding her baby she would knock her Mum out, I asked what happened and she said her Mum was sitting there slagging me off, I don't know exactly what she has said but she told me that I wasn't letting her have enough time with her child when I was down and that I was hers so her Mum will have to get used to me. Later on that day she said she was really Happy but she never told me why, I questioned why because at the moment everything is a mess in my eyes anyway.

I texted her yesterday why she is isn't texting me and she says her Mum and Nan are moaning at her and that they are saying shes always on her phone, at that moment I was like wtf? when does her nan come into this, i've never even met her. I said you can always message me when they are not about but i've had no reply since, the annoying thing is she has updated her Facebook since.

Another thing that worries me is Facebook and I am aware it can cause a lot of stress and paranoia in relationships but I am trying to get over that but I fear I never will now, she has two Facebook accounts, I did ask her why, the one which I am not on her friends list she said is one she adds all her family on and baby photos, the one which I am on she adds random guys in America and does all this "Like for an Add" "Would I date you?" bullshit, also they call her babe, beautiful, gorgeous and she does the same, I asked her about this and she said that she has her own name for me which is snuggle bunny..... :/

I am especially worried as the ex she was seeing after she got raped wants to see her and know if the child is his as his seen photos, and I am worried she will go back to him or already is planning it, maybe she is playing a game and doesn't want to break up with me and make it so it's me that breaks up with her so she doesn't feel guilty, I just don't know what to think anymore, I feel I am caught up in some Jeremy Kyle show and I can't get out of it, yet all I want is a loving relationship where I can talk to her! shes not had her period either which is another worry, shes taken two test which are bother negative

I don't want to lose her but I feel if I chase her/Ignore her then I will or that someone will probably tell me the most decent thing is to leave her, again it's hard because I have feelings for her and her child.

Thank you for reading x

[bulrush]

"Hes a twat I don't like him he's full of himself, I don't care if hes acting or it's real life"

Lol. I'm laughing so hard, hearing this with a British accent! lol.

I asked what happened and she said her Mum was sitting there slagging me off,...

Well, her mom sounds like a real nutter, and the nut doesn't fall far from the tree, know what I mean? Sounds like your girl is so needy, she needs to see a guy every day, and you can't do that because you are too far away. So, I think she's seeing other guys.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

She's ****ing other dudes. Dump her.

[Tarlos]

Some advice preferably not from young guys would be appreciated

[devonbrown]

If you can't actually talk to her (not text), it is not really much of a relationship. I have no idea why her mother would not want her to be with you (we just don't have enough information), but it doesn't really matter. Your relationship is with you and her, not you and her mom.

As for her multiple facebook accounts, it sounds like she is an attention-seeker who likes it when guys tell her how attractive she is. That is not a good sign.

There is nothing you can do about her ex getting back in her life, especially if he is the father of the baby. That is her business.

I will say this though, it sounds like she has a lot of baggage and a lot of drama going on in her life. I am not saying to get rid of her, but it might be best to back off for a bit. The less drama you are involved in the better. And, if you are the one person who doesn't want anything from her, you will be more attractive to her. Work on your neediness.

Good luck.

[bulrush]

I also see red flags with this girl indicating deep-seated insecurity issues, or even mental illness. Mental illness runs in families, you know. But, some people prefer to learn by doing, so, carry on, mate.

[Wakeup]

What you get now from her will only get worse. You two should be in the honeymoon period still and from what you write, it sounds more like divorce court. She's got issues and you can't fix her so don't even try. She sounds nuttier than my mother-in-law's fruit cake and you sound like you NEED to have another helping even when you know in your gut it's just going to make you feel sicker than you already do from the first piece.

Tell us one good reason why you want to be with this girl ~ what loving actions she shows you that confirms to you that you two should be lifemates?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Tell us one good reason why you want to be with this girl ~ what loving actions she shows you that confirms to you that you two should be lifemates?

Wakeup, why would you intentionally try to make him break his brain?