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Thread: A Rock and a Hard Place

  1. #1
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    A Rock and a Hard Place

    So question for the women, more of a scenario than advice needed.

    This Saturday is essentially Halloween party night for anyone going to these things. I have to make a decision.

    I have seasons tickets for the local CFL team, have had them for 10 years. They just opened a new stadium last month and one of my contacts who works there has gotten me a field and dressing room tour as well as a chance to meet the team. Something I've only wished I could do for years, and now inside the new stadium too!

    Many months ago I agreed to go to this huge Halloween costume bash with the GF, and didn't realize until last week that these two events would be clashing with each other. I've told her how important the football thing is and how I probably won't get this chance again, but that I also agreed to the Halloween party with her and that I'd go to that instead.

    She got pretty upset that I didn't tell her about the game sooner, and that I should go because its a once in a lifetime thing. But the emotions behind her words clearly showed that she wants me to go to the party.

    If you were a female in her position, what would you prefer I do? The truth is I won't be able to fully enjoy either event now anyways.
    "All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley

  2. #2
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    If you were my boyfriend and I told you to go do a once in a lifetime thing that I know you'd really want to do then I would tell you to go to the CFL thing. I wouldn't tell you to go if I didn't want you to. I wouldn't want to have you resent me and cancel something so special. Perhaps you can compromise and go to your thing and meet her at the party after the CFL gig?

    Don't feel guilty and not enjoy yourself if she told you to go to it. Thank her and be grateful.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  3. #3
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
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    I would prefer you to apologize profusely for committing to something when you forgot you were already booked. Tell her how very much you really want to go to this game.

    Say that you will make it up to her with an evening out someplace nice. Don't forget and do it soon. Also, if she is going to the party anyway, I would give her a small gift the day of (a nice orange gerbera daisy--they are available in Van now). I mean, its a small gesture and you did mess up.

    Also, since its a party its likely to go late. Is there a way you can go to the game and skip the afterparty to be with your GF? Good compromise.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    I'm going to try to do both. I've had these tickets since the Spring, I just don't remember exact days of games until I check the calendar. The issue is that the facility tour came up last minute, otherwise I wasn't going to go. And as its with my old man who I don't see a terrible amount I'd feel bad standing him up.

    I'll find a way to make everyone happy.
    "All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley

  5. #5
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    Call me traditional, but if this is a special event with your father then that takes priority over your GF. She should understand. Family is important, especially if you don't get to see him often.

    I would still apologize and do something nice. But the fact its w/your dad (and not a bunch of buddies) should take the sting out of it.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  6. #6
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    If you were my bf I would be disappointed about the party, but I'd want you to go to the game, and I'd want my ass kissed profusely. If I have friends going to the party then I would be fine and have fun. Sometimes you need time and experiences separate from each other.

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