Girlfriend likes someone else - what do I do?

[jimbobob]

Hello,

As my title says, my girlfriend of 6 months is interested in someone else. But she still likes me, though she is starting to like me less. I have not treated her poorly, nor been clingy or needy , and treated her with respect and given her her privacy. So, the only conclusion I can come up with from this is that a) she is getting bored of me or b) this guy must be better than me somehow.

How do I win her back and squash this? What do I do? This is the worst feeling.

[workingman78]

There may not be anything you can do beyond talking to her. Straight out ask her what is up? what she wants? and if she sees any value in her relationship with you? If she is willing to say that she is interested in another guy, she should be able to look you in the face and tell you where you stand.

[Wakeup]

Hello,

As my title says, my girlfriend of 6 months is interested in someone else. But she still likes me, though she is starting to like me less. I have not treated her poorly, nor been clingy or needy , and treated her with respect and given her her privacy. So, the only conclusion I can come up with from this is that a) she is getting bored of me or b) this guy must be better than me somehow.

How do I win her back and squash this? What do I do? This is the worst feeling.

Is she spending time alone with this other guy? Anyway it doesn't really matter if she's admited to you that she like someone else then now is the time for you to tell her that you'll not stay with someone who has feelings for someone else and then say goodbye to her.

Take back your personal power and retain your self-worth, self-respect and confidence. Why would you hang around to be disrespected by her? Don't give her the opportunity to string you along while she "entertains" thoughts of the other guy.

[jimbobob]

she doesn't spend any time alone with him, though he is in her classes. i just know they text/message back and forth outside of that. she hasn't acted on anything or "entertained" any thoughts, just merely that she is attracted to the guy. so i feel like i can still sway this. any other opinions..?

[Chat_noir]

Well...i know the feeling.First thing i can say is that it was very decent of her telling you.In the best of cases,this would be because she wants you to "win her back".In the worst case though,this just means "so that you know that i'm preparing the ground to leave you".You should find out what's the case,using your senses and what she tells you -that means you two have to seriously talk.In long term relationships,it happens that one person starts being attracted by someone else,that's for several reasons,and if the relationship is solid, then eventually the person puts himself/herself together and stop it while it's young.But your relationship is young on its own,and those kind of things should not happen.I think the best thing to do is to talk to her,ask her to explain you why that happens -if she can put any words to it- and then ask her to take a desicion.It's bad for you feeling that you are a "third" person in your own relationship in the first place.Not spending any time alone doesn't mean that it is any better that doing so.Since she feels attracted, even the texting thing has a completely different meaning.It's not entirely friendly,at least not for her.So it will just make things worst between you,even if it doesn't get any further.For your shake and only,stop it now.

[KingZ]

just merely that she is attracted to the guy. so i feel like i can still sway this.

No, not really. There's nothing logical about attraction; it just happens. It doesn't mean he's better than you in any way. You can't use rationality to explain this sort of thing.

Unfortunately, "just merely that she's attracted" is kind of a silly thing to say. Think about how hard it is for a man to attract a woman.

Right.

She doesn't have to act on it. You should let her know you're going to split.

[devonbrown]

It is normal to be attracted to people, but if she likes this other guy, it isn't going to wind up well for you. Reverse the situation and pose it to her. What if you found another woman attractive who you texted/messaged and told your girlfriend that you liked? How would she react?

It sounds like she is ready to start seeing other people, so you might need to start thinking about that as well.

Good luck.

[uri]

No, not really. There's nothing logical about attraction; it just happens. It doesn't mean he's better than you in any way. You can't use rationality to explain this sort of thing.

True because attraction has to do with the nervous system, brain chemistry, and genetics and hormones and all these things you cannot really control.

I also have the feelings that certain powerful people in our society do not want certain individuals to breed or to have a girlfriend. This is called discrimination and eugenics.

All of these things put together, the biology and societal forces may prevent certain men from ever finding a girlfriend in their lifetimes.