Were we exclusive?

[drob2689]

I need some inpartial advice. Obviously I'm trying to work out if a past relationship of mine was exclusive or did I missread the situation.

So this university student (postgraduate student who was in her late 20's) travelled to my country and staid in my house for 2 months. We beacme friends, and one thing led to another and it became romantic for the last couple of weeks. When she returned home, we staid in contact and pretty soon we worked out that I would travel across the globe to spend time wth her (a month). We both stated that we would not "fall" for anyone in that time. I assumed this was all encompasing. And anyway, we remained in contact via skype for everyone day during that 2 months. I went over, spent holidays with her family, travelled around for a month and then departed. I broke it off with here because I found out she had a fling with some random dude i week before i got there. She never admitted it even when i presented proof that I knew. I came down pretty hard on her. This happened a while back, (like 10 months ago, but now she is trying to contact my family, and im trying to work out if i should let her). In my opinion, we were exclusive, and i can't stan cheaters/liars. But am i wrong in my interpretation. I mean apart from the fact we said we wouldn't "fall" for anyone else, she sent me gifts in the mail, we were talking everyday, i was travelling half way around the world t ospend christmas with her and her family, and she told me she wanted to be with me "not for just a month this year".

Thanks

[Mish]

If the talk about exclusivity never happened then it's hard to say. For the future it's best to set things straight early in the relationship.

[drob2689]

Oh, I forgot to mention, she didn't have sex with this dude, but just making out with him in her dorm room. Obviously she had already left the relationship(or what ever it was) by that point, but no one sent me the memo.

[workingman78]

Sounds like you guys had different opinions about where the both of you left things. I would give the benefit of the doubt that she didn't think she was cheating, and give the second chance.

[drob2689]

Yeah I mean I'm starting to realise it's a possibility, but then why did she deny it when i brought it up. Why didn't she just say to me we weren't exclusive. This is a hard one for me to work out. I mean, there is no interest in getting back together with her, but if I'm wrong, then maybe I should atleast be nice to her. I mean the fact that it was a week before i was to come over to meet and spend christmas with all her family, and meet her parents, it just seems like a stupid thing to do. ANd if she won't own up to it then does it mean she knows it was wrong??

[workingman78]

She was playing the field, and is embarassed about it. Would you want to talk about it if the role was reversed? Being nice to her doesn't really cost you anything if it is done, and forgiveness is good for the soul.