Five Love Languages

[FwedFwintstone]

Been reading the five love languages. I feel kind of great that I can do all five quite easily. I buy gifts, do things, say affirming words, touch, and I really enjoy quality time together.

My ex however could,d hardly say anything nice about me, didn't have the words apparently, but kept telling me she loved me. She very very rarely bought me any gifts. She never did anything and she had problems spending quality time alone with me as most of the time it was double dating with her parents!

About the only thing she did was hold hands and kiss me even though she was a self confessed non huggy person.

There would be great swathes of time she wouldn't want to touch and she kept expressing how insecure she thought I was. I think she kind of resented holding hands.

She was just happy to let things be and not put any effort in.

[HeartIsAching]

Some people are simply not socialized to be physically demonstrative. It sounds to me as if she's one of those. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about it, if she doesn't like it, you can't force her. You can either live with the lack of physical intimacy or find another relationship.

It sucks, but I can tell you from experience, that if you're somebody that is socialized for it, it doesn't get easier over time to go without, it gets harder. Frankly, I'd advise seeking another relationship.

[FwedFwintstone]

But there was no other real demonstrable love language shown as far as I could tell. No service, no gifts, no words and no quality time. That's not entirely fair, there were little dribs and drabs, but very little, cos she was so incredibly selfish.

She couldn't even break up with me face to face and had to do it on Facebook. Even now she can't return my property that I lent to her.

[bulrush]

Sounds like you two are not very compatible.

[FwedFwintstone]

I don't think it was a case of compatibility because I'm very flexible. For me, I feel it was more of a case she just didn't love me very much. I think she loved something, but it wasn't me. She didn't place a high importance on the relationship and looked to everyone else before me.

I think I posted this to say I don't think she really showed any love languages.

Plus I don't believe there was any maturity. She said she really loved me and I was the best thing to happen to her, but one hiccup and she says she wants space, doesn't want to discuss anything then ends up dumping me on facebook because I pushed for communication, she wanted space and kept calling me a baby. Compatible or not, but that is the language of not caring, and that is the sense I've had all the time through the history of the relationship.

[FwedFwintstone]

I'm sure she will find someone she genuinely loves. On the other hand, she could be a psychopath. Billy Joels "always a woman" speaks volumes to me

[FwedFwintstone]

She changed her telationshop status on Facebook from being engaged to being in a relationship. That was the last straw for me, so I went to get my things back to end it and in the meantime, she de friends me on Facebook.

I kept hoping there may be a way back but she didn't want it.

Its a bit ambiguous who ended it. I guess I did. Or at least I forced her hand

[Lovehelper]

Encourage her to do it more often... make her realize it's important for you as well. but it does take some time....