How do I get her spend more time with me?

[cheesehead]

First post here, so please be nice with me...lol

I've been going out with a great girl for a 4 months now. We started off nice and slow with dating, and things really, really clicked. We are exclusive now. I can tell she really digs me. She texts and calls me every day and seems genuinely concerned and curious about things going on in my life. I've fallen head over heals in love with her, and I'm also pretty sure she feels the same about me.

The problem is that we only see each other once a week. We both have kids from previous marriage and other things that keep us busy. But I want to see her more! I get jealous of friends and family members who have boyfriends/girlfriends and significant others who get to hang out all the time. My girl, who seems to like me/love me, seems to not want to put in a lot of time together. It's strange because at times we'll talk on the phone in the evening and she'll tell me she misses me and that she's hanging around her house doing nothing. Yet when pressed to do something (even just hang around her place to watch a movie), I usually get excuses that she has to do this or that.

So how do I get her to be crazy about me, where she is dying to spend more time with me? It's killing me that I can't get more face time with her! But I don't want to come on too strong and smother her and appear too needy, clingy or whiny.

[GaryUranga]

Maybe you could pull back a little bit on the texting and calling, that could get her to chase you a bit more and probably want to spend more time together (woah that sounds sneaky)

[oneandonly]

That's odd. If I'm into someone, I'd like to spend more time than once a week. At least, twice a week. Life gets in the way but if you two have time talking on the phone in the evening, why can't she invite you over even just for a meal?

When you meet once a week, how long do you spend time together? How far do you live from each other?

When you get to a certain age, we all have our own pattern of doing things, routines and work, and get to appreciate having own time and doing some other things outside a relationship. But a relationship requires time to grow.... Perhaps it's not on her priority at the moment?!?!

[Boisdevie]

If you have children then they come first. Perhaps that's her priority over and above you? Which is not an insult to you at all. Here's an example from my own relationship. I met S in September 2010. She lives 90 minutes away from me. In late November 2010 I had the opportunity to see her for the day and the following day. BUT I couldn't sleep there because she was concerned about the effect on her children. So I slept overnight in a very small car. I was happy to do so because kids come first, ALWAYS. Perhaps she's thinking about that?

[cheesehead]

That's odd. If I'm into someone, I'd like to spend more time than once a week. At least, twice a week. Life gets in the way but if you two have time talking on the phone in the evening, why can't she invite you over even just for a meal?

When you meet once a week, how long do you spend time together? How far do you live from each other?

When you get to a certain age, we all have our own pattern of doing things, routines and work, and get to appreciate having own time and doing some other things outside a relationship. But a relationship requires time to grow.... Perhaps it's not on her priority at the moment?!?!

Sometimes we meet for lunch, other times for a dinner. A good 80% of our meetings are eating out at restaurants, but we have done other activities...stuff with our kids, a few overnight visits, a romantic weekend getaway...

We live about 30 minutes away from one another.

As far as her priorities, I don't know.

If you have children then they come first. Perhaps that's her priority over and above you? Which is not an insult to you at all. Here's an example from my own relationship. I met S in September 2010. She lives 90 minutes away from me. In late November 2010 I had the opportunity to see her for the day and the following day. BUT I couldn't sleep there because she was concerned about the effect on her children. So I slept overnight in a very small car. I was happy to do so because kids come first, ALWAYS. Perhaps she's thinking about that?

I understand about the kids. Totally. I'm not asking her to totally modify her life around me, but to have a slow but steady natural progression to something more serious.

Anyone agree with GaryUranga's suggestion to back off on texting and calling? I understand about making her long for me a bit more, but at the same time it would make me more miserable. Again, I don't want to smother her, but I'm absolutely ACHING to spend as much time with her as I can!! This is driving me mad!

[lovely2082]

no ure not overreacting. and this is coming from a jealous girlfriend...lol. now if u were to know the girl u were chatting with and met up with her numerous times etc. then yes shes has a right to get angry. but then again, people have alot of things they truly believe in. i am the most upfront and honest gf any guy can have. i am kinky, and blunt. I told my bf i sometimes have webcam sex with men and say whats on my mind, he is a lil bit more reserved usually when he wants but he is ok

[lovely2082]

I wish my boyfriend was like that. He always wants to be doing his video games or fishing!!! and when I hang with him, THATS ALL WE DO! youre sweet!!! shes got a great man! congrats!

[cheesehead]

lovely2082, have you done anything to get your boyfriend to spend more time with you? What would you suggest I do?

[lovely2082]

lovely2082, have you done anything to get your boyfriend to spend more time with you? What would you suggest I do?

Unfortunately no, i just keep egging him on to see me before i break up with him...hahah hes been busy though so i accept that... i did however make up a lie that my guy friend *whom he loves to game with* said they were coming over to game and made him come out and then made my friend come out and i got to spend time with him.. LAME. haha