Does this sound like he doesn't want me anymore? I don't know what to think.

[bella-kate]

I've been in my relationship for a year and my boyfriend and I do make a great couple. We see each other 2-3 times a week, sex life is good and we have lots in common - I just feel like it's always me that makes the effort though and it hurts a little.

It's always me who arranges to meet up, it's me who suggests days out, me who initiates sex, me who does romantic gestures and me who tries to keep the relationship lively and healthy. Sometimes it just feels like if I didn't put in the effort he'd just forget that I was even there.

It's always great when we are together but I just miss some passion. I want to feel wanted and desired and he really lacks the ability to make me feel like this. I compare him to other guys who go miles out of the way to impress their girlfriends and who do romantic things daily and it just makes me feel sad. I don't know whether it's his laid back personality and that it just doesn't cross his mind, or whether he acts like this because he genuinely lacks passion for me.

Has anyone else ever felt like this? I'm not high maintenence, I don't expect gifts or holidays or anything ridiculous - just maybe a spontaneous action every now and again or for him to suggest a date - instead of me having to plan it all. Everytime.

Part of me thinks maybe I should completely lay back and not try and then he'll realise he has to make an effort - but that feels like I'm playing games with him, and I don't want to do that. I have brought this issue up with him before but nothing changes. It improves for a couple of days and then goes back to normal.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You should probably just break up with him, since you feel unfulfilled and it's been an ongoing problem with no sign of changing.

But if you're not ready for that, you can take the easy way out. Instead of laying back and not trying, just start focusing your attention on yourself. Start hanging out with your friends more, and stop calling/texting him. Respond if he initiates, but don't keep the conversation going long, end it promptly. Start looking for other guys since he doesn't seem that interested in you, and if you find one you like better, dump him.

[BrokenHearted78]

I think he's just being lazy and thinks that he's already got you and doesn't need to put in any extra effort. At this point he's so used to you planning everything that it probably doesn't even cross his mind to do it. If I were you, I'd back off a little, wait until he calls and plans a date. It doesn't seem like playing games to me because you both should be involved in making this relationship work. That will hopefully make him realize he's not doing his part and he has to put more effort in it.

[bulrush]

I'm a guy and I used to be like this. It's not that I was lazy, it's that I didn't realize how important being romantic and spontaneous was to my ex-wife. I learned over 10 years of marriage, though we are no longer married. Now I am more spontaneous with my girlfriend, and romantic. In fact, some of my old girlfriends were caught a bit off guard how romantic I was, and how I expressed my feelings. They told me it took them a bit to get used to that part of me.

But yes, guys, being romantic is very important to most women. So learn it.