Why cant i get a woman to commit?!

[TheChris]

This may be a petty rant, but I just feel that women (those that I am meeting from time to time) are indirect to commitment topics, usually fumbling around with an idea even after months of play. Whats wrong with me?! IS there something I am doing wrong?!

Short dates- long dates- heavy dates - soft dates! (XD Haha, I'm describing styles of dates, not my date's physical characteristics! )

I work hard, I am EXTREMELY faithful. Attentive (Yes, in all manners.) Aggressive (To give some spice), I love to have FUN! I'm not a slob! I love working out and on top of that - I AM OPEN TO ALL TYPES OF BELIEF! So what is the deal with my age group?! 25-30. I don't understand it...I want to be in something loving and committed, but I can't FOR THE LIFE of me get any breaks. UGGG This is frustrating the HELL out of me.

...grrr... *VENT*

[rafterman]

Do you come on too strong, maybe your frustration shows too much? Just sayin'

[TheChris]

NO!!! ITS THE CLOWN!!! RRRAAHHH!!!

Hahaha, I don't try to come off too strong at all! I mean... how does one come on too strong?! I don't pass over a contract and have her sign! ( Hmm maybe I should do that... lol) But seriously, I dont start talking about babies or anything like that! I just ask about the seriousness of the relationship, then things start to get all weird... like its not 'part of the plan'.

Am I TOO MUCH fun?! o__o

[rafterman]

How soon after meeting them do you start talking about wether your GF/BF. What do you mean by too much fun? I mean are you a bit crazy?

[TheChris]

Maybe about a month or so in? I ask if we are going to be in a relationship. And as for 'too much fun' I mean -the basics-, but with my own style. I'm not talking about one night stands.

[rafterman]

Whats your sausage and beans like? Is it decent? lol

[MaidenMinx]

I've never understood having to have the "where are we at?" conversation. Either it's going well or it's not.

I think this is your problem. Don't do the commitment talk so soon. Sure have the exclusive talk, but not the commitment talk.

[marrimy]

mutual feeling for each other is very important, and i think u can feel the one if love u or not, so something like " if we are in a relationship" is unnecessary to ask, what u say, what u do to each other could say everything, i can tell that u r feeling insecure,afraid of losing

[oldskool83]

Ive never ask anyone to be a g/f. its either gonna happen or not. i think you need to learn 1 rule. let the dog come to you. you might not think your pushy and wanna know where you stand but other might see that as pushy and get fed up and peace.

[Junket]

'Cause women are all sluts.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Don't care so much about them, at least not early on. Make them be the one to initiate the bf/gf stuff.

[smackie9]

NO!!! ITS THE CLOWN!!! RRRAAHHH!!!

Hahaha, I don't try to come off too strong at all! I mean... how does one come on too strong?! I don't pass over a contract and have her sign! ( Hmm maybe I should do that... lol) But seriously, I dont start talking about babies or anything like that! I just ask about the seriousness of the relationship, then things start to get all weird... like its not 'part of the plan'.

Am I TOO MUCH fun?! o__o

This conversation is usually brought up by girls, and yes it scares guys away too! It gets weird because this converstion is pushy, puts them on the spot, makes you look desprate, insecure, and a wimp ass.

Dude you need to relax and just let things progress naturally. Drop the aggressiveness and attentiveness, act kool and distracted.....

[smackie9]

Either that or you have been friend zoned. The minute you say relationship, they will drop you like a hot potato!

[poetrychic]

'Cause women are all sluts.

No they are not, you need to just stop yourself and go to a different forum or topic!

[poetrychic]

I agree with Oldskool, you just need to let it happen or not, don't do the where are we at conversation. Also, I think BackUpOrGetStng is correct too--don't give them too much attention in the beginning, just enough to keep them interested, play it cool, and let them call you a few times (not saying don't call them or ask them out again) but let them miss you or make some effort in contacting you.

I am a very persistent person, and it sounds like you are too. When I want something, if it doesn't happen, I get impatient and analyze it from every angle wanting to understand why it hasn't happened (even if it is obvious to others)...so think about that. Try to focus on something else that will temporarily keep your mind off you wanting a commitment, whether it be working out, going out with friends, school, taking up a hobby...etc.

What's funny to me, and other guys would have darted out the door on this one, when I started dating my husband years ago when we were in our early 20's, I told him ON OUR FIRST DATE, that I was tired of dating guys that just wanted something casual or just sex, and I was ready to have a committed relationship and wanted to get married!! haha! I think he considered not going out with me again, as we talked later about it, but he had not dated in a long time and was ready for it too. So ya see, if you find someone in the same place mentally you are in wanting the same thing, then it'll work out. Just give it time, she's out there somewhere.

Have you ever heard of speeddating?! I saw something like that on facebook! lol! Or maybe they actually do it somewhere in your area-that would be so fun to try for the experience I think.

Good luck!