intense......then she ended it all on email!

[brokenbroken]

I met this woman maybe 8 months ago. We had an incredibly hot few months that ended in total chaos.
We had no contact for quite sometime but i just couldn't get her and everything that happened out of my head. I was sure she was out to get me. I wasn't sure why, i had loved her and she had claimed to love me. It was very intense. Yet in all those feelings i felt we were deeply connected.
Anyway we ending up reconnecting. And it was BLISSFUL! then we continued to email after we met up. We talked about how we will get back together. How we are connected how the love that exists between us is out of this world. She said she wanted a life with me. She started communicating open and honest. I was in heaven i thought everything i felt for her was true. That this was it, we were meant to be together....
Then the very next day day sends me an email and says, shes crying, her heart is in shambles and it's because she loves me, she really does. But she's just too scared, truly, she said her heart will never recover when we end again. And she sees our end she always did. She said she cannot open the door again. She needs to make this break final. She said i need to leave her alone. She said its too intense with us. that she needs to be alone. that she can't do it. She said go knowing i love you and we once had something beautiful. She said she said what she needed to. That she is going to change her number to make it easier for us both. She said it is over, that her heart is broken, that we are reflections of one another. she said Know that your pain is my pain and my pain is yours.

[brokenbroken]

I am so broken and confused! and i can't contact her because she asked me to leave her alone.....

[Mathias]

that ended in total chaos.

I'd like details on this.

Also, she's made it very clear it's over. You're not going to get it back by trying to talk to her about it, especially with how she decided to end it.

[brokenbroken]

chaos by she just ran away last time and then she returned after the no contact then ran away again.
So why the one day wanting a life with me the next day gone???

[Mathias]

chaos by she just ran away last time and then she returned after the no contact then ran away again.
So why the one day wanting a life with me the next day gone???

Who knows. At this point, all anyone is going to do is guess (and I'm sure a lot of people in here will too). You're just going to have to forget it and move on.

[brokenbroken]

i wish it was that easy to move on! but i am trying to figure out is she just scared or did she mange somehow to magically fall out of love in 12 hours!!!!

[brokenbroken]

i guess i'd like others to analyse her email and tell me what they think...

[bulrush]

Maybe she was married and she decided she cannot leave her husband after all. Maybe her husband improved so they decided to make it work now. Makes sense that she has another guy somewhere.

What are both of your ages?

[elny1]

Lots of insecurities = lots of problems. This relationship can probably been continued on and off if you play your cards right since she's vulnerable to you, but her self-control knows you 2 aren't going to work out. She doesn't feel the same way you do completely.

[confusedman2011]

Dude, it's easy to get caught up in love and ignore a person's flaws, problems, red flags, and inconsistencies. We like to see the ones we fall in love with as angels and "perfect" for us but deep down they're flawed, have differing feelings, be full of scars, and have heavy baggage. She may have already been with another guy or had just met someone new. It happens...men and women can be shallow bastards and bitches who will dump a totally nice person (like you) for someone they think may be better. I had a super whirlwind relationship a while back with what I thought was a sweet, nice girl and we talked about a future together, but she one day just dropped me like a hot potato. I was as crushed as I'd ever felt in my life. Devastated was not the word.

There can be a hundred different scenarios on what happened with your girl. You have to listen to me: as hard as it as, you cannot obsess over these scenarios. If you have ANY way of communicating with her, DON'T: do not e-mail her, do not drive to her home or work. Don't try to reach out to her. Do NOT analyze e-mails and texts, do not replay phone calls over and over in your head, and don't obsess on what might have happened and what might have been between you two. You may never figure it out and you'll drive yourself bonkers over it.

Trust me, I know how it is. Your heart feels absolutely shredded and your mind may be spinning out of control. You have got to start getting out, talking with friends, doing activities. While you're at it, talk with other women. If you find one who's interested in you, it will do wonders for your ego and boast your spirits (but still think with your head). It will take time, but you have to move on.

[oldskool83]

She cant handle a relationship, wants what she wants but after realizing she has it freaks herself out and needs to peace. these types of women make get a name for committment phobs, everything fine but they end up ****ing everything up, nothing you did prob, its just her...trust me she will have many bfs and keep doing this.

[devonbrown]

i am trying to figure out is she just scared or did she mange somehow to magically fall out of love in 12 hours

I am not going to even fathom a guess as to why she might have acted the way she acted. But I will say this - you need to stop this. You need to stop doing this to yourself. You will never figure it out. Even if she comes back and tries to explain it all to you. Even if she Vulcan mind-melds with you. You will never understand it. Because you aren't meant to understand it.
So just make something up that will ease your mind. Pretend that she was abducted by aliens and is now a pod person. Whatever you need to do to realize that she is gone.

I know this is not what you want to hear, but in time you will stop thinking about it so much and be able to concentrate on someone new.

Good luck.