Okay, before, I fancied a shy guy friend as I wasn't sure if he fancied me or not over the summer. The precis: we worked together, we went out for beers after work in a work group on several occasions. His friend joked that the shy guy wanted to sleep with me. The shy guy flirted with me (and other women). I texted and emailed the shy guy and he never replied to me. We went out several more occasions and he made an effort to chat to me and he said we'd definitely keep in contact after our project we worked on finished and he wanted to visit my neighborhood etc. He was basically making plans with me for social things to do over the months ahead.
Our work group no longer works together and now I can tell our work group will just meet up once a month for beers depending on who can make it on the night.
Thanks to great and realistic advice, I realised this shy guy just sees me as a friend only - that's fine, as he's not contacting me suggesting meeting up or doing stuff together as in my experience, that is what guys do when they're interested in me, even shy guys.
The shy guy cancelled at the last moment for a work social event. At the time I was making excuses like he was unemployed, didn't have money, didn't want to be embarrassed about people asking what he was up to etc, but the bottom line was that he got a better offer to go out that night rather than meet up with former work colleagues.
Now, obviously, he just sees me as a friend only.
My question now is that: clearly I was attracted to him which he knew, as after some subtle hints by me, I told him outright. Now that he's not interested in me that way, I feel what's the point in keeping in contact - period, even as friends, because if he's not replying to emails, or replies occasionally, it seems like a lot of hard work. The other thing is that he doesn't reply to emails etc with everyone else in the group - he's very shy and doesn't have too many friends. He expects people to make the effort with him, although he has the capacity to be a very good friend. Rather than have a big group of friends, he has a few close ones.
Is it my ego talking that I want to cut off the friendship because he turned me down? I think he would be sad if I terminated the friendship. I also have enough faith in the stock value and quality of what I offer in terms of friendship to know that if he does go elsewhere making friends, he'll soon come back as my friendship value is very good indeed.
This guy is shy, but not too shy. He's socialising with other friends and he's single, meeting girls etc.
What do I do? ... finish the friendship? Re-double the friendship effort and make it known that it's okay he's not interested in me, but we're good friends or drop hints I'm seeing other guys ... or just leave the whole situation as it is, where we meet up every month as part of a work group to catch up each others news ...