I'm in love with my math tutor (30 years older)

**sugar_1990** · 23-09-11, 08:01 AM

Hello everyone!

I'm 20 years old... Almost 3 years ago I was in high school. I was in last grade (in Greece we're giving exams to enter a university) and I needed a private tutor in maths... So I started having lessons with a guy 45-50 years old (his appearance is very good, he's very athletic and he's got very beautiful eyes)... In the beginning, I didn't want to realise what was happening to me... I didn't want to admit that I'm starting to falling in love with him... However, during our private lessons in his place I realised that I want him... As for him, he showed me that he wanted me too... He was telling me that I'm beautiful... He was touching my hand while I was solving problems... In general, he did things, lots of thing, that showed me that he wanted me back... We finished our lessons after a year and I successfully passed the examination. The next year I was a student in Economic School and in the first two semesters I had maths... So, I called him to see whether he could help me again... He said yes, of course..... But, I couldn't show him how I feel... He knew nothing about my feelings... So we finished our lessons again... And now, almost one year later, I can't forget about it. He isn' married or something... I know that it's difficult to have a normal relationship because of his age... But I want to be with him... For a while at least... Please help me.... I'm so confused..!

Thank you in advance..!

**sugar_1990** · 23-09-11, 09:51 AM

Originally Posted by sugar_1990

Hello everyone!

I'm 20 years old... Almost 3 years ago I was in high school. I was in last grade (in Greece we're giving exams to enter a university) and I needed a private tutor in maths... So I started having lessons with a guy 45-50 years old (his appearance is very good, he's very athletic and he's got very beautiful eyes)... In the beginning, I didn't want to realise what was happening to me... I didn't want to admit that I'm starting to falling in love with him... However, during our private lessons in his place I realised that I want him... As for him, he showed me that he wanted me too... He was telling me that I'm beautiful... He was touching my hand while I was solving problems... In general, he did things, lots of thing, that showed me that he wanted me back... We finished our lessons after a year and I successfully passed the examination. The next year I was a student in Economic School and in the first two semesters I had maths... So, I called him to see whether he could help me again... He said yes, of course..... But, I couldn't show him how I feel... He knew nothing about my feelings... So we finished our lessons again... And now, almost one year later, I can't forget about it. He isn' married or something... I know that it's difficult to have a normal relationship because of his age... But I want to be with him... For a while at least... Please help me.... I'm so confused..!

Thank you in advance..!

Please heeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**surfhb** · 23-09-11, 10:51 AM

Your immaturity is showing..... Get real!

**Saya** · 23-09-11, 11:58 AM

Since your not under age, so you should do whatever you want.
Are you sure that his not married or have a gf?
If he is single then why don't you ask him out on a coffee?
Age difference is huge and if you two really like each other then it could work, but then most likely it wouldn't work because a lot of people will judge you because of the big age difference and also, probably doesn't have many things in common...

**sssspanos** · 23-09-11, 12:16 PM

Now you are talking about a big difference... On the other hand it s like this thing goes on for years... Go on if you like it in my opinion. But be prepared for the end of it also. I think he s gonna have bigger problem after allnthis anyway :-)

**Andariel** · 23-09-11, 08:10 PM

When you are just 20 years old it is normal to become infatuated with someone and convince yourself to ignore all the red flags that are there.

When he was tutoring you for your University exams you were still under-aged and yet you say he was telling you you were beautiful and was touching you. This is completely inappropriate behaviour on the part of a 50 year old man. You were a minor and if he was doing these things then there is definitely something wrong with him. Try to look at this objectively: what would you think if one of your friends in high school told you that a man who is 30 years older than her was doing these things?I am sure you would be disgusted. This man is bad news. Stop obessing over him because this will only end one way: with you getting really hurt.

Also, it is easy to say age does not matter but when you are so young asnd inexperienced a guy with so much experience can easily take advantage of your feelings and jerk you around while you think that he is all in love. At such a young age you will not have anything in common with him: what are you two going to talk about after a while?He won;'t be able to take part in your life (ie. go out with you, hang out with your friends etc). You will be seeing your friends having fun with their boyfriends and you will feel isolated. You are at an age that your main focus should be studying and having fun with people your age.You can have a 50 year old man anytime you want down the line; but you can never go back to being 20 again and enjoying all the perks of that age.Stay away from him for your own good.

**devonbrown** · 23-09-11, 11:06 PM

I agree for the most part with Andariel about the red flags here.
But, I will also say that at present, you are legal, so there is no reason for you not to be with him if you want. Just call him and ask him out. But understand that this is infatuation and desire on your part, not anything more emotional.

Good luck.

**vashti** · 23-09-11, 11:42 PM

I doubt he has any sustained interest. If he did, he could have asked you out already, since you are over 18. He probably flirted with the idea (when he was touching you, etc), but came to his senses and backed off. Leave him alone. He's way too old for you.

**sugar_1990** · 23-09-11, 11:55 PM

Thank you very much for your answers...
Well, since I want to enter to an MBA programme I have to give exams again... In statistics now... Here's the dillema... Should I ask from him to help me again? Or should I find somebody else?

ps. He's very good at his job...

**vashti** · 23-09-11, 11:58 PM

Since you are prone to inappropriate crushes, find someone else, preferably female.

**Wakeup** · 24-09-11, 12:19 AM

Originally Posted by sugar_1990

Thank you very much for your answers...
Well, since I want to enter to an MBA programme I have to give exams again... In statistics now... Here's the dillema... Should I ask from him to help me again? Or should I find somebody else?

ps. He's very good at his job...

Are your parents paying for you to sustain this crush?

**sugar_1990** · 24-09-11, 01:10 AM

Originally Posted by Wakeup

Are your parents paying for you to sustain this crush?

Well, it's me who pay now... But it's difficult for me to decide....

**asdfg789** · 24-09-11, 02:05 AM

have you ever had a boyfriend before (> 6 months relationship) ? do you have guy friends of around the same age ?
it is advisable to gain more experience at your age with people around your age. that will give you a chance to experience things in relationships of your age.
otherwise, you would have missed a part of your youth.

that's my 0.02

**sugar_1990** · 24-09-11, 02:26 AM

Well... I'm in a relationship now.. Almost 2 years...

**asdfg789** · 24-09-11, 03:02 AM

Originally Posted by sugar_1990

Well... I'm in a relationship now.. Almost 2 years...

so let me get this straight - you want to cheat on your boyfriend with this man ?

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