its finally over but im hurtin so much

[headsashed]

she said in a txt that she re added me on facebook to show that she isnt hiding anything,it only lasted a day lol

[broken6391]

Whats the latest?

[Simple Love]

This kind of thing happens to mostly all of us...I think it would be in your best interest to give the relationship some time and space...Sometimes things get old after a while and need to be stopped...I was dumped by my ex out of the blue and I didn't realize until after the relationship was over that we needed some time alone....

Take this time to figure out yourself and want you want to do...You never know what will happen when you have a clear head...

[headsashed]

sorry i havent been on for the past week or so,ive kinda been a lil mashed up lol,the latest is:
2 days after she added me on facebook again (thrusday) i went to her house and posted her remaining stuff,on the sly ofcourse,within 5 minutes of doing so she rang me,just said i didnt need to,we was on the phone about an hour,chatted about work etc then we got talkign about our relationship which ended in an argument so i text her asking to post my key friday morning on her way to work.
Friday morning she had text saying she will post it saturday when she is off work,even though she can easily pass my house on her way to work,i live 2 minutes from her house,so i replied saying ok,ill miss u (stupid i know) she replied that night saying she will miss every little thing we did etc,sowe kind of got into a conversation which i said that i hated how it ended (arguments) and i would have liked to have ended it better,she said she will come up instead of posting it,i agreed,she came up and we spoke about work etc and then we had to goto the gym to cancel our membership,on our way back i thought she was dropping me off home as she had to go somewhere,but she pulled in my drive instead,we was talking about things,she was crying so much it was making me want to cry,but she said it had to be like this,i never once begged her to come back,off she went.
sunday she txt me asking what my facebook status was about,it all ended up in arguments again,think she rang me sunday night too to ask me about it.
monday i think there was just normal txts,general chit chat.
tuesday,same really.
yesterday i had planned to go stay at my friends house as i needed to get away,so she txt me asking if i was going then,i told her yes,and that i would have like to have seen her (stupid again) she said she wants to see me but its probably a bad idea,i said ok,,thwen she said she might come later before i left,she txt later saying she cant because it will be too hard for her,i said ok i understand and i just wanted to say a few things to her but it dont matter now,she rang meand i told her everything i had to,just the basic wished it would have worked,i do love u etc,and im doing this because i need time away to sort my head out,all i got from her was things like you already told me this a million times,then she started crying and put the phone down.
we started txting again and she said shes just fed up of everything,this was like 5pm ish,we was constantly txting until about midnight,she said she will miss me,does love me and hopes i find someone that will make me happier than she ever did,then all of a sudden she got angry,she wasnt having a go at me but i could tell she was angry and asked why,she said she doesnt know but shes glad she is angry or she would cry,i told her to tell me what was wrong,all she said was i dont know and cba with it,i said ok ur probs just missing me (jokingly) and she replied with this " yeh i am missing you but i still wont come back to you" i have no idea where that came from,so i asked why shes been wierd cos she been ok most the day,she said "just cos i said i love you but wont be with you,i say it to make sure u dont get ur hopes up and think im coming back to you" so i replied with " i get the hit amy,you aint ever coming back" she said im moody now,at this point i was tired and upset so i just put "hope ur proud" she asked what i meant but i ignored it and went to sleep.
This morning she rung and woke me up,asked what i meant so i told her just to forget about it,then she asked what time my job interview was,i told her ,she talked for 2 minutes then went,then she txt asking what i meant again,i said leave it,then she says she confused,we had normal chit chat after that,she asked me to txt her after my interview to let her know how it went,so i did,a few more texts after that and thats it,an hour later i was out walking my dog and she drove past me and smiled and waved,i just put my head down,it hit me so hard,ive heard nothing since.
i did delete her number the other night so i couldnt contact her,in total she has sent me 158 txts since yesterday morning and its now 4pm.
i really dont know what to make of any of it,she keeps telling me its over but yet sends lots of texts,i forgot to mention that while on the phone the other day she mentioned something about feelings,i asked what she meant and she said her feelings might change in the future and u dont know what will happen,im actually quite lost in all of this and im hurting a very lot,seeing her today even for a split second has hurt me loads,id even walked my dog in the opposite direction to her house becuase i knew she wsnt at work today,just typical that she had been out in the car and had to drive past me lol.

[headsashed]

just to add something else,i saw her yet again while out,this time in a different place haha,think i need to walk my usual ways lol,she started txting again asking if i have decided what im doing about work,i told her no not yet,,then i was just sending her 1 word replies,she then said ill leave u alone then,i ask why,she said until u decide what ur doing,i said eh,then she said ill leave u alone because i didnt think u wanted to talk because of my texts....
now i am confused with her :S

[headsashed]

The texts continued till midnight ish again,mostly just general chitchat but 1 thing that got to me was when i said " i knew id end up seeing you while i was out with my dog"
so she replied with "it doesnt bother me seeing you and just not talking about all this" .. so i mentioned that the day before that she had said it would be too hard to see me,she then said and this is her exact reply " i want to see you,just like to come to yours for an hour,just talk like we used to,or me ranting on about work and that lol,i miss just talking to you"
so i said well you know where i am and she said she might call after work tonight,i dont think she will tbh,i just dont get her,i really dont lol

[headsashed]

yet another update,she never came that friday,she txt me that night and asked to come sunday,i let her,she came last night and said the same old crap so i told me to look at me and asked if she loved me,she said yes,so i told her i need to heal now and u know what that means. She said to not talk to you,i said yes,she didnt look very happy.
so last night i deleted he number again and all the texts,even deactivated my facebook as we have many mutaul friends.
the last thing i saw was her status on facebook which she set afte leaving my house.it said "some ppl right p!ss me off"
i hope i have tbh lol,.ive gone cold turkey now with NC and ive not heard a thing from her.
yes im hurting but its the only way and im actually quite proud of myself for finally standing up and telling her not to contact me

[codnchips]

sounds complicated

[codnchips]

But ultimately you've done the right things, as it sounds as if she was playing games with you.

[headsashed]

the day after she txt me saying "my mother says do u want to cut grass and she will pay you" i said yes but i dont u want you to be there,if i wasnt so skint i wouldnt have replied. guess what,she was there cleaning her car on the drive,i hardly spoke to her and when i did it was brief,then an hour after i went home she txt saying "u was very talkative" i said i know,it was awkward.. i left it at that.
today i was down the field with my dog and she was there,grr,but we spoke,briefly, and off i went. she rung me a few hours after ( silly for me to answer) and asked if i could fix her car radio and do i want anything from the shops while she was there and asked if i wanted food later,i said ok,she came,i fixed it,then she said she didnt feel hungry anymore,i felt as though she used me so i told her,she told me to f off and she hasnt used me...she txt me an hour later saying she didnt use me,so i said im near yours so come out and lets talk this out cos ive had enough.
she gave me all the same crap,i just want to be friends,its that or nothing,so i asked why she been txtnig me all this time and ringing me,she said she was being friendly.
what she playing at grrr