Timing is everything.

[JRSYGRL]

I would like some feedback, I already know what I am to do at this point but, always nice to have some opinions along the way. I apoligize this might be a little long, but if you are willing to read/respond then thats great, if not then it really doesn't matter haha

I met John almost a month ago. He's 27, I'm 26. I only knew him for 2 weeks before he left this company as we worked for the same one. (he worked at a different branch before) Instantly we clicked. We started flirting, he was teasing me, he seemed a little shy, and always made eye contact with me, visited me at my office, always smiling, etc. One day he was teasing me but I couldn't figure out what it was about, so later in the day I went to his office and asked him what it was about and he said he couldn't remember. I bugged him saying to think about it. He then replies saying "maybe trying to ask you out" and I said "Oh ok!" then said "or go skydiving" (he is a paid skydiver) I said I wasn't too sure on that one. But it was never brought up again...I was kinda shocked he said that. We just continued with the flirting and everything else. I mentioned to him that we should go for lunch one day before he leaves, and he seemed good with that. So I left the ball in his court and on his last day, he said lets go for lunch! We brought his friend with us (which was better as I didn't want it to be awkward. It's not a date) and we had a great time, he paid for my food, he then bought me a drink at the store next door. He sat up front with me in my vehicle. He was extremley goofy and happy it seemed. He even said I should hang out on their side of the office for the rest of the day, since it was friday and so slow. Another co worker called me and asked if we drank alcohol at lunch, I laughed and said no, why? he said well...John came upstairs after you guys came back, and he was in a really happy mood. I had left him my phone number on his desk prior to this lunch, when he saw me after I knew he found it, he mentioned maybe having a party that friday with some of the guys and if so, would I go. I said yes. It never followed through, instead we had the lunch. I know he kept my number too, but I never heard from him to this day. So I immediately thought he either has a gf, or he is not interested. I found the not interested part hard to believe after everything that progressed.

He has moved to the next city over (3 hours away) for a new job, he said he was going to be in and out of both cities often. I did find out from someone that she believes he has a gf. She said she even thinks they live together, but he is moving and his gf is staying behind to finish school herself. So I checked on Facebook, and with slight digging I have determined that he probably does. Seems like they have been together for at least 4-5 years. Thats a long time to be with someone, not mention a word about her ever, or even be engaged yet! John's friend that came with us, made it known he had a gf, I know any guy I've hung out with, thats been happy in a realtionship, has no problem bringing up that fact. But it all makes sense as to why the date never happened and why he never called. Why he would flirt and do everything else...I'm not sure. Maybe there is trouble in paradise, maybe he is bored. Either way...Its not up to me to contact him now. He would have to deal with that issue before anything else.

I think I am just bummed out...we really got on well, had a great time together. I knew he was interested. Now will I ever hear from him again? I have no clue...

I guess there are a couple small questions, even though I wouldn't want to be the reason...I added him on facebook before I found out...he hasn't rejected the request or accepted...and he has been online....1. why would he be waiting to add me, and 2. Have any of you guys met a girl while dating someone, especially long term, and ended the relationship, later contacting the girl you connected with previously in the future?

I do hope to be in contact with John in the future, maybe over time if there is no contact I'll just forget about it all. obviously I'm not waiting! But right now I still have those feelings lingering around. For the record I do know that he is NOT a player. I know he has feelings for me...but I also know it doesn't always mean it goes somewhere in the future.

anyhoo...thanks for reading! thats about all I have to rant about.

[James Banes]

He's not about to give up his long-term chick for you no matter how long you make him wait for sex. He's probably already met another chick at his new job as well.

You need to face the facts the skydiver has dived outta yer life.

[Wakeup]

You don't know that he has feelings for you and I think you're placing far too much value on one lunch shared with other co-workers. He has a girlfriend... surely that is enough information for you to be able to forget your crush and place your sights else where? It looks to me as if You're reaching and assuming because none of the things you mention show me that he has feelings for you past them being a friendly co-worker who has a flirty personality.

[JRSYGRL]

I'm not asking if you think he likes me. I already know he does, I didn't list EVERYTHING that went on because it would be even more to read. Thanks for your response though.

[Wakeup]

No, no you don't know. You are hopeful that he likes you the same way that you like him. His actions say he does not like you like that. Perhaps you should elaborate because what you have revealed so far gives no indication that he's crushing on you like you are on him. Besides, he has a girlfriend so you'd be well off to forget him until when and if he breaks up with her and looks you up. Right now you're chasing rainbows. As a realist, this is how it looks to me.

[nestorz]

You got yourself excited over the guy, and then you hit a brick wall.

So at the moment, you don't know how much he likes you and you can't see this objectively.

You expect alot from someone who gives you nothing. Don't do that to yourself.

[bulrush]

1. why would he be waiting to add me, and

I don't know. He may be having trouble with his current gf and waiting to find out what happens with her before pursuing you.

2. Have any of you guys met a girl while dating someone, especially long term, and ended the relationship, later contacting the girl you connected with previously in the future?

No. I never pursue another girl while I'm dating someone else. I put all my energy into the one relationship, but then, I'm an unusual guy.