First to Initiate Sex?

[ineedhelpnow]

Me and my girlfriend have sex average 4 times a week. I have a strange feelings that Ive been the one initiating the sex the whole time. Is this normal, should guys always initiate the sex. Should I test her, Ive been thinking that im going to not initiate any sex whith her this week and see how many times we have sex. Im trying to see how into me she is, i also perform oral sex on her too every time we have sex and I dont think most guys do this.

[searock]

As long as you are both comfortable, I don't really see the problem. Or do you not like it to always take the initiative? Do you feel like sometimes she is doing it JUST because you want it? Be careful, women don't like to feel like they're expected to have sex every single time they see their partner, or every time there is the possibility (if you don't live together, possible situations would be like when you watch a movie at each others' house, when you sleep together, etc), and I say this as a woman. I personally like to take the initiative, but as soon as I start feeling like I'm expected to have sex, I immediately back off.

You should not "test" anything. If you don't like to always take the initiative, just don't take it as often as you do now. If she feels like having sex, and doesn't feel pressured into it, she'll initiate. Stop thinking so hard about it, it's supposed to be a natural and spontaneous thing.

Besides, why do you even care about what "most guys" do during sex? Focus on yourself and your relationship, it's all that matters.

[ineedhelpnow]

I love when a woman initiates the sex that turns me on and gets me really horny, I dont know why it just does. I feel like she wants to have sex every time but we usually have sex after we start kissing each other. I would like for her to just wake me up one morning and start having sex me

[searock]

Hm. Does she ever initiate the kissing-before-sex?

[bulrush]

Guys have a much higher libido than most girls, so guys end up starting things much more often. Why don't you walk to her about it? Tell her it would be nice if she started something once a week. Be specific, like once a week, or once every 2 weeks.

[searock]

Nah, I don' think that would be a good idea. It would make her feel both pressured and expected to do it.

[rainydayznnight]

Whats the big deal about who starts the sexual session? Dude your getting laid atleast 4 times a week, stop your complaining and enjoy it! I know couple's who are lucky to have sex 4 times a month.

[bulrush]

Guys get frustrated always having to do all the work, just like girls get frustrated always having to clean the bathroom/house. Dude wants to mix it up, what's wrong with that?

Nah, I don' think that would be a good idea. It would make her feel both pressured and expected to do it.

Are you implying that acting like an adult and sharing responsibility, or even doing something nice for her bf, is too much for a "poor woman?"

[vashti]

Guys get frustrated always having to do all the work, just like girls get frustrated always having to clean the bathroom/house. Dude wants to mix it up, what's wrong with that?

Maybe he should offer to clean her bathroom every time she initiates.

[searock]

Are you implying that acting like an adult and sharing responsibility, or even doing something nice for her bf, is too much for a "poor woman?"

Not at all. I'm saying that if he asks her directly (or hints at it in the wrong way), she would very likely feel pressured and guilted into it. Sure it would "work", but the emotional distress would just keep building up and eventually it would ruin the relationship. Everything should come natural. If she never initiates, then either she has no clue that he would like her to (she might actually believe that he wants to always initiate: bad communication much?), or there's something wrong in the relationship already. There's no point in getting her to initiate if she wouldn't have done it of her own accord.

You know, OP, there are actually ways to see whether she wants it or not. You could try starting to kiss her and lightly tease her, and then stop all of a sudden, "gently but firmly". If she wants to initiate, she will at this point. (Then again, your gf is probably going to read this post, so yeah XD).

[Wakeup]

I think OP is just looking for trouble or trolling because he's out of work due to an injury and he's bored so he's trying his best to cause chit at home to keep his adrenalin moving.

(Then again, your gf is probably going to read this post, so yeah XD).

yep! ... and he knows she reads and contributes here it too.

[rainydayznnight]

If shes having sex each time he initiates it, he should thank his lucky stars! How many men on here are complaining that they keep getting turned down by their girlfriend or wife whenever they want sex? Maybe she's submissive and expects him to always take charge?

[bulrush]

Maybe he should offer to clean her bathroom every time she initiates.

Lol! I've heard that for some couples, that is actually foreplay! I'm serious!
"Ohhh, baby. Clean that toilet and I'll ROCK your world! SWIRL that brush around, that's it!" lol

If shes having sex each time he initiates it, he should thank his lucky stars! How many men on here are complaining that they keep getting turned down by their girlfriend or wife whenever they want sex?

This poster simply needs a bit more. I think he doesn't feel needed, and everyone likes to feel needed some way. He wouldn't bother to post this if it wasn't important. He shouldn't settle, but the OP needs to understand, he can try to talk to his gf to change her. If she doesn't change, he can find another gf. That's the way it works. It's hard to find someone you are REALLY compatible with on many levels.

Maybe she's submissive and expects him to always take charge?

Perhaps. But she needs to have the guts to just come out and say that then. It's wrong to just keep him in the dark about a fundamental relationship dynamic like that. And sometimes women say "no" the first few times, or resist a little, because they think men like to be teased that way. I don't like to be teased that way, no means no, but I like to be teased other ways.

Just a note, I've had 2 girlfriends who, when we started making out, they said they were submissive and would NEVER make the first move, ever. I said "thanks for telling me". We went on to have a great, fulfilling night. No problems, no frustrations, no miscommunication.