gf seeing other guys?

[bloodtippedrose]

^ I must have missed something

[steviej]

Dh? What happened to him?

[tiki21]

yeah i think you guys are pretty much right.... gotta tell this hoe to hit the road..

[devonbrown]

tiki21 - What made you change your mind? I am sure that nothing that was said here was anything different than what you were telling yourself when you fought with her about this stuff. I am curious as to what was the piece of advice that finally sunk in.

[tiki21]

nothing made me change my mind, i just wanted to see how you guys would react to me saying i would give her a second chance.... but breaking up and kicking her out is pretty complicated.. i cant just strand her in the middle of the west without knowing anyone..

[BackUpOrGetStng]

nothing made me change my mind, i just wanted to see how you guys would react to me saying i would give her a second chance.... but breaking up and kicking her out is pretty complicated.. i cant just strand her in the middle of the west without knowing anyone..

She knows at least two people, and I'm sure she won't have a problem finding somewhere to stay. Stop being such a pussy, her situation is not your responsibility, kick her out or leave.

[nerdy_guy]

nothing made me change my mind, i just wanted to see how you guys would react to me saying i would give her a second chance.... but breaking up and kicking her out is pretty complicated.. i cant just strand her in the middle of the west without knowing anyone..

Pretty complicated for your feelings. Which doesn't seem to bother her in any way.

i found out today, she went out with a guy.. i got a little nosey and noticed a unnamed contact txting her.. turns out she had a great time.. he bought her a bracelet... that was the happiest shes been since we've lived here.. anyway.. after a few hours of fighting she tells me shes gonna go stay at someones house.. im like ok well you dont know any one.. turns out she was going to go stay at another guys house.. she actually had a few diff unamed txt msgs

Strand her? does it look like she's stranded? Looks more like you're the one that left stranded.

[bloodtippedrose]

nothing made me change my mind, i just wanted to see how you guys would react to me saying i would give her a second chance.... but breaking up and kicking her out is pretty complicated.. i cant just strand her in the middle of the west without knowing anyone..

^ remember you saying this, you'll regret it later

[devonbrown]

I agree with the others. She obviously has other places to stay. Make your concern be for yourself. Forget her. She shouldn't be your concern any more.

[summertyme45]

nothing made me change my mind, i just wanted to see how you guys would react to me saying i would give her a second chance.... but breaking up and kicking her out is pretty complicated.. i cant just strand her in the middle of the west without knowing anyone..

I'm new here and had a similar situatiuon as yours a few years ago when my boyfriend cheated on me. Here's my advice.

If you take her back, who's to say she wont do it again? Obviously she cheated once and lied without any second thought for your feelings or about you and your relationship. She made the conscience decision to lie and cheat on you, you do not owe her anything and have no reason to care about leaving her stranded...she made the decision to put others before your relationship. I can understand if you still have feelings for her and WANT your relationship to work. However, what happens when someonoe else comes along again? At this point, you need to protect yourself and your feelings. There are too many people out there for you to sit and let someone walk all over you. What you need to think about is this:

-are you going to be able to forgive her, or are you going to always have doubts about what shes doing and with who? you already said you cant look at her
-Is she worth taking a second chance on, knowing that there is a likely chance she will do it again. Think about it the possibilites. She lied and cheated and you took her back. Is she the type to take advantage of your kindness and commitment to her? Seems obvious that she is when shes already done it before.

[tiki21]

you guys dont think this is more complicated then just breaking up with her? we moved cross country together... i mean youve never been given a second chance? what if she actually is sorry.. what if she knows she did wrong, and has been trying to fix it the past two weeks? i should still just tell her to hit the road, and its over.. our 9 month relationship is over because of one bad decsion?

[tiki21]

can there be no innocence to this? can people make mistakes and learn? are cheaters always cheaters? no one here has made mistakes before?

[Mathias]

you guys dont think this is more complicated then just breaking up with her? we moved cross country together... i mean youve never been given a second chance? what if she actually is sorry.. what if she knows she did wrong, and has been trying to fix it the past two weeks? i should still just tell her to hit the road, and its over.. our 9 month relationship is over because of one bad decsion?

Yes. It's over.

Stop trying to rationalize it.

[devonbrown]

tiki21 - You have convinced me. You should turn a complete blind eye to her behavior. You should never ever worry about her cheating on you again because she has said she made a "mistake." And the fact that you moved cross country together is another good reason why you should stay together. I only thought you moved a couple of states over with her. Cross country makes all the difference. Maybe if you two move to the complete other coast she can stop sleeping with you altogether and start whoring herself out for money.

Please tell me you understand sarcasm.

Come back in another month when she does it again and whine about how we didn't give you good advice the first time.

[bloodtippedrose]

can there be no innocence to this? can people make mistakes and learn? are cheaters always cheaters? no one here has made mistakes before?

If i was ever cheated on I would not give second chances. They know what they did wrong before they did it. Its completely disrespectful.
Clearly you're intending to disregard the advice given here, which is fine. Just remember it doesn't hurt any less the second time around.