Guys, what would you think in this situation? First time sex....im too tight?

[Jessica1]

My boyfriend and I attempted to have sex for the first time last night. We're both 19 and, since we go to college 3 hrs away, we have been in a long distance relationship for the past year. Anyway, I visited him last night.
We started off kissing, and dry humping until i whispered "i want to feel more"
he then asked if i wanted to go all the way...i said yes.
but then when i talked about you know afraid of getting pregnant and my concerns, he simply came in bed and held me as we talked about whether or not we were ready for sex. We agreed we were and we resumed touching and everything.
Well he tried to put it in but I was wayy too tight and it hurt...first he tried fingering and it hurt then he tried actual penetration and of course that also hurt.
Well i guess he just umm kept his penis on my clit and i semi orgasmed that way.
Well throughout the session, we tried different positions to make it hurt less..me on top, him on top, side of the bed, behind...i went with it all. and i was just curious and open lol.
-I kept asking him if this was considered in every time I felt a sensation and he would laugh and say nooo not quite.
-i was kind of bossyy..im not usually like that but i told him to move this way and keep going and just a lot of orders and things.

we started and stopped a lot of talked things over and during the end, i felt bad that i was tooo tight to be penetrated.
he held tightly and said it's okay, you're a virgin, it's normal. we just have to get used to doing it more. you're fine. and then he kissed me a lot.

idk, i just feel bad that i wasn't able to be penetrated :/ I'm concerned. Guys (or girls too) how would you feel in this situation?

[Devilsbane]

I wouldn't sweat it. I've never been with a girl for her first time, but it is my understanding that most are pretty awkward as you try to figure out how things work. The worst thing you can do is walk away with a negative experience. Otherwise next time you will be stressed and concerned and it likely won't go right. Your guy should be understanding, honestly he is probably feeling self concious too. (He may or may not admit that)

[Dazy]

There needs to be a lot of foreplay so you can get wetter. The wetter you are, the easier it will be for his penis to penetrate. Also, have you ever masturbated? If not, you should try it so you can learn how to relax and move your vaginal muscles when you're ready to have sex. You can try it with him around if you need inspiration I guess haha. I'm sure he'd like that anyway. You can try one finger, then two, then three, etc. Tell him to rub your clitoris so you can get wetter too, it's natural lube and it's always good. Regardless, it's not uncommon for it to hurt the first time.

Also, don't feel bad. It's good that you're tight. It'd be bad if you were so loose he couldn't even feel it tight around his penis lol.

I hope that helps.

Good luck!

[Jessica1]

Thanks for the advice. He seemed pretty okay with everything and relaxed and understanding. So I guess thats good.
I just odn't know when I'm going to see him again :/

[Wakeup]

It's normal what happened you just have to take it slow and he needs to slide in very slowly then stop and then go a bit more and then stop until he breaks your hyman. You're very, very foolish if you do not go on birth control or in lieu of that him putting on a condom. You don't want to get pregnant and ruin everything the two of you have been building.

Pregnant in school, 19 and no money. Does that sound like someone who is ready to bear children? Go to your local Birth Control Clinic and get educated about safe sex, STD's STI's and of course birth control.

[vampiress]

It's normal what happened you just have to take it slow and he needs to slide in very slowly then stop and then go a bit more and then stop until he breaks your hyman. You're very, very foolish if you do not go on birth control or in lieu of that him putting on a condom. You don't want to get pregnant and ruin everything the two of you have been building.

Pregnant in school, 19 and no money. Does that sound like someone who is ready to bear children? Go to your local Birth Control Clinic and get educated about safe sex, STD's STI's and of course birth control.

Jeez! you're absolutely right.... but you sound like Papa Smurf sometimes

[Wakeup]

You're funny in a blonde kinda way... *hugs*

[bloodtippedrose]

Jeez! you're absolutely right.... but you sound like Papa Smurf sometimes

I dont remember papa smurf lecturing on stds. maybe he should have

[KingZ]

Every girl I bang feels like a virgin to me.

[vampiress]

I dont remember papa smurf lecturing on stds. maybe he should have

I dunno! It has something to do with all the lecturing ... mind the STDs

[HeartIsAching]

I dont remember papa smurf lecturing on stds. maybe he should have

Why? There was only one Smurfette, she was never pregnant, but there were baby smurfs WTF?!

[vampiress]

Why? There was only one Smurfette, she was never pregnant, but there were baby smurfs WTF?!

Now Ya talkin' ...

[TheTooya]

@Jessica1,

Few things. I have been in the same situation you have described. When I encountered it, there was a little awkwardness (I mean, I didn't want to hurt her), but we kept on trying, and it did get better. She was very tight, virgin, and I was a virgin as well... so we both were confused on how to do it back then.. :/

Make sure you are properly lubed. If your not wet enough down there, use lube (foreplay can help here). Lube can be replaced with spit too, which is what I did for a while.

Its good that your "being bossy", its helping him get a better understanding of what feels better for you, don't stop that.

But what WakeUp said: do use a condom. Have some prepared when he visits, or tell him to get some. STDs and pregnancy are all concerns you should be careful about.

Good luck, don't feel discouraged

[PainfulLonging]

I'm terribly small too. I find if it sit on him cowgirl style he can just barely squeeze in. He enjoys cowgirl too.

[Jessica1]

ummm we used a condom lol. i really don't want to use birth control..
Do you think it's a good idea to tell him what I found out online about what we should do?
Like say "okay, i read that we should use more lube and I should shave and that cowgirl is better" etc etc haha, I just dont want to seem like I dont trust what he's doing since he did tell me that everything's okay and we'll try again.