Oh if only us women didn't like your hunky six foot figures and dangling testicles so much, life would be so much easier. But alas, you are better than chocolate cake. Much better. Well here's my story.
Him: an award winning lawyer and dachshund lover
me: a sucker for him
I was dating a guy who said he loved everything about me! My heart melted when he said this. He even said so youre looking into getting married someday right? I adored him and we sent erotic texts to each other that made us both so excited about each other. He told me how hard I made him. He got so excited he cut work early and found me so we could get it on. But I couldn't do it. I told him I liked and respected him too much to do that with him. He yelled and me and called me a cock tease and pressured me to do it. I said no and he stormed off and left. I liked him so much I put up with this. I had never experienced such passion with a man before. He told me I needed to get a car even though I had an OK job and an apartment. He told me I needed to drive to his house. When I said no he dumped me.I didn't want to be a slave to his wishes. Since then I have been dating mediocre men and no one turns me on like he does. I have been having mechanical sex with other men. Oh, he also doesn't like girls with glasses so I got LASIK. The surgery left me starbursted at night. Should I try again with him for the sake of feeling anything but boredom? It was pure fire with him. Yeah, I know I'm dumb. He was the best looking guy I'd ever seen though. Ever. Yeah, I know, I'm dumb!
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Thread: Dear Dudes, Why?
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09-09-11, 03:32 PM #1
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Dear Dudes, Why?
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09-09-11, 11:46 PM #2
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Did he ask you for sex on the first date? How long were you dating before he tried asking for sex?I told him I liked and respected him too much to do that with him.
Yes, you were dumb dumb dumb. He thinks you will never have sex. Do you have sex issues? Or intimacy issues? Or trust issues? I don't think he wants a fixer-upper but you can always ask him if he wants to date. Make sure you admit you made the mistake.
BTW, sex is important to men, but make sure they don't want just a one-night stand.I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
(Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)
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10-09-11, 12:30 AM #3
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Wow... so much fail in this, I don't even know where to start. But I'll try.
1. Quit putting guys on pedestals - He still eats, sleeps and shits like everyone else.
2. If he YELLED at you for this, he doesn't deserve your attentions - he's an abusive asshole.
3. You were right to refuse to drastically change your life for his wishes. The fact that he dumped you over it is a lucky break.
4. What do his looks have to do with it, particularly? There are plenty of beautiful vapid people out there with nothing to offer.
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10-09-11, 12:42 AM #4
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Is it just me, or does this dude sound married?
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10-09-11, 02:53 AM #5
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I don't know if he's married but he definitely wanted OP for sex sex sex.
OP, I don't know if you're dumb for wanting to go back to him but I strongly feel that you don't respect yourself enough. That award winning lawyer of yours is a stupid jerk. Guys like him can kiss my dog's a$$.
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10-09-11, 04:27 AM #6
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Well painfullonging, I think you have larger issues to work out here other than getting over this guy. You freakin got Lasik eye surgery simply because he doesn't like women with glasses? Wow... What you call "passion" is nothing more than him asserting his dominance over you. Yelling at you is not passionate. Pressuring you to have sex is not passionate and would be construed in court as attempted rape. He even told you to buy a car so that you could come to his house, and dumped you when you refused? The hole between my cheeks isn't half the asshole this guy is...
Further, even if you had a real reason to be really attracted to this guy besides looks (which it sounds like you don't), that is hardly a reason to have "mechanical" sex with multiple other guys. I really think you have some sort of esteem issue or another type of emotional issue. That is the only reason that you'd be pining over such a prick and having sex with people whom you have no feelings for.
Just for future reference Lawyer = Asshole. Yes that is a huge generalization, but it is typically the case. It takes a certain type of person to be a lawyer, usually very dominant and manipulative people....one can be sure of nothing until it has already happened...
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10-09-11, 04:31 AM #7
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*sniffs* I smell troll or, possibly a boarderline personality. Can I have your autography Pain?
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
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10-09-11, 06:05 AM #8
sadie_genie Guest
This is why you should find someone who is an equal to you. If your partner is way too good for you (I am talking about superficial qualities like success and looks), you are just going to end up worshipping him and him exploiting you. I can bet you he has no respect for you at all.
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10-09-11, 12:23 PM #9
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You smelled right. It's a troll fho sho. Reminds me of a certain Zuros.
Originally Posted by Wakeup
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10-09-11, 12:56 PM #10
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Originally Posted by jb1111983
who the hell is Zuros?"It's all George's fault. All that talk about impotence. He got to me. And that orgasm stuff: orgasm this and orgasm that. It's a lot of pressure!" Jerry Seinfeld
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10-09-11, 05:48 PM #11
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No, you are not dumb, you are merely behaving as most women would with any man: withhold sex for manipulative reasons. But that manipulation is not bad !! I repeat : manipulation is not bad, it depends on the intention behind it. Your intention is to tune down your man's lust in order for him to master his desire. As a woman you don't want your man way too excited because it steals your thunder !
As a woman, you want to be the one manifesting most of the pleasure and not him. Although he desires you dearly, you want your man strong in his desires. You want him owning his desire and not let his desire rule over him. That's what you are doing consciously and unconsciously.
Also, you seem that you have a very unhealthy ego and pride. You want to play games way too much, while he is very straightforward. He is like a Taurus and you are that red beautiful Fish that he is chasing always getting out of his way. The great thing about your relationship is that you are compatible. Only if he would tune down his masculine attitude of always taking charge he would appreciate you better. He is just all over you, forcing you to want him, while you want more freedom. You want him to give you some of his "taking charge" attitude. That's why you are cock teasing him.
You are literally saying to him via your teasing : "hey I like you, I like what we are doing together, you are amazing, but please let me have my share of action because you want it all"
My advice is this: take some time alone and really think this through and once you find that emotion in you when you desire him badly call him then, while you feel that emotion. Tell him what you feel and tell him how much you enjoy his sexuality. In the same time tell him what you want from him. Tell him about your teasing and why are you doing it.
Chances are that he wants a more submissive woman while you want a more easy going man. Be honest with him, tell him everything you feel and see what happens.
Good Luck"A life which is unexamined is not worth living"
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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11-09-11, 12:47 AM #12
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No, it doesn't depend on the intention. Originally Posted by Cristian Luca
It's bad. Period.
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