Games?

[Evo1114]

So I had set up a date for this weekend on an online dating site (I did this last weekend). After we agreed to get together, she gave me her phone number...I gave her mine and this is what has transpired since then...

I told her I'd call her when I wasn't busy last weekend. My plans got rained out on Saturday night, so I called her. Earlier than when I'd normally call, but whatever, better to make my first call when I'm not busy than try and squeeze in some time when I had plans. She didn't answer, I left a message. Tuesday rolls around, haven't got a call back yet (by this time I had been set up with the new girl, so I'm not too heartbroken). She texts me Tuesday afternoon saying 'sorry, my cell phone is on a prepay plan and I forgot to pay it before the Labor Day weekend, but I'm back in business now'. I tell her 'no prob, I'm going into my yoga class and then am going to the gym, but I can give you a call tomorrow (Wed.)'. So she never responds to that...no 'ok' or 'tomorrow is not good' or anything...so Wednesday evening comes around, I call her. First time I call she must have accidentally answered. I hear some rustling but no voice. So I hang up and call again and get voicemail. Left her a message to give me a call back if she still wanted to get together this weekend. Never get a call back. Thursday I get an email saying 'sorry I haven't called you back, I dropped my phone on Wednesday and it shattered. I tried turning it on and it freezes up on the welcome screen. I'm going to race out after work and try to find a cheap phone.' I emailed her back saying 'No problem. You don't have to race around on my behalf, we could always set something up via email too if ya still want to get together this weekend (??)'. She never responded to that.

So is this just her playing games or a case of a girl just enjoying the attention she's getting and not actually having any interest in going on a date? I'm obviously not too broken up about it as I like somebody else right now, but it still bothers me somewhat as I *DESPISE* games and I also hate being a prick to make the games stop (especially if it is only my suspicion). Anybody familiar with these tactics? I suppose that it is entirely possible that she is telling the truth, but it all seems kinda fishy.

[Riku]

I'm sorry..but if I had any interest after hearing you tell me you are going into a yoga class I probably would have stopped responding to you as well. But that's just my take. Maybe she just realized you aren't her type?

[Jenswaiting]

It sounds like game playing to me. She could be one of many who only join these sites for the attention and never truly plan on meeting anyone. I wouldn't call her anymore if I were you. Time to move on to the next....

[surfhb]

Youd be crazy to call her again

[Evo1114]

That's the vibe I'm getting. That she is one of those people who just get thrill out of the attention they get from people. I'm not going to call her. If she texts me again, I'll just either not respond or tell her to call me. I suppose she could be incredibly shy too and isn't comfortable speaking on the phone. Who knows.

And what is the turnoff with yoga? I like staying fit. I even do it once a day at home too. If people are only interested in fat asses in this day and age, then I guess I will remain happy, fit, and single.

[Riku]

It has nothing to do with staying fit it just seems....unmanly to me. There are plenty of other ways guys stay fit and I don't know any that do yoga. I'm not knocking you I'm just saying that maybe it's a turn off for her, I know it would be for me.

[Evo1114]

Yeah, not too many dudes in my class. Actually, right now, I'm the only one. Oh well, their loss. I'm comfortable enough with myself to not worry about the unmanliness of it. I also do cardio and lift weights. Yoga is by far the best.

[Jenswaiting]

I agree I can't see why a man doing yoga is a turn off - hell if I met a single man that did yoga, I'd ask him out on a date.

Course I go to yoga classes 3 nights a week for 2 hours each time. Best form of exercise...and I'm fairly fit and toned due to it.

[bloodtippedrose]

Id tease a guy saying hes going to yoga but it wouldnt be a dealbreaker or anything like that (it freaking takes strength and endurance!). Some guys even take it to connect/meet woman cuz its a place they'll see them constantly and theres not much competition in the room ;P

Evo, the yoga instructor sounds much more hot and worth the chase. This other chick is making one excuse after the other because fact is, shy or not, if she really wanted to spend time with you she would go to a little more desperate measures to get back to you. For her to not text back or call back for a time or two is being coy, but after basically everytime? Thats just rude. Let her contact you and suggest plans, otherwise shes not worth it, especially if you don't tolerate head-games..

[Evo1114]

I just started doing yoga because my work friend kept raving about it and said I needed it because I was so stressed out all the time. I finally agreed, not expecting much, but it blew me away! Feel a lot stronger, gets my mind relaxed, and it gets rid of ALL tension. Plus improves my flexibility which was terrible. And, unexpectedly, got me a foot in the door with a gorgeous yoga instructor.

The yoga instructor IS much more hot and much more worth my time. But I'm still not sure what yoga instructor thinks. Haven't received any message from her since Wednesday, so who knows...I may have scared her off by giving her my phone number. But either way, if I don't keep my mind occupied, my brain is bound to get a little obsessed. Just the way I am. So I wanted to go out with the game-player chick to kind of keep me occupied...plus get some practice for the real goal. (That probably sounds dickish, but whatever, I've been out of the dating game for awhile, so a little practice wouldn't hurt).

I haven't heard a peep, so maybe she bought her new phone but her internet connection went down, she could not retrieve my phone number again and couldn't email me because of the internet connection being down.

[bloodtippedrose]

I haven't heard a peep, so maybe she bought her new phone but her internet connection went down, she could not retrieve my phone number again and couldn't email me because of the internet connection being down.

That is extreme wishful thinking. Dont make excuses for her, in todays world of easily-accessible technology there is no reason to not be able to get in touch with someone. How many of her friends and family have phones? Or a computer at school or library if hers was truly down, which we both know its not. And what about a pay phone? Maybe losing your number is one thing but she can access your email from anywhere. Accept that shes acting like a bitch

You said yourself yoga girl is shy and her friend told you she can easily go back into her shell, does she sound like the sort of person to call you when a number is at the end of a message? Not her being rude just shy. Its definitely unusual and if it happened to me, even if I really liked the guy or wanted to hang out with him, I wouldnt call him Id wait for him to call me. Doesnt seem fair but thats how shy girls are ;P they take a little extra effort.

[Evo1114]

Haha. I'm not making excuses for her, I was just trying to predict what she'd be saying next for why she never replied.

On the topic of yoga girl: I don't believe she would've given me her number or called me right away when I gave her mine....this is exactly how I worded it though when I gave her my phone number..."<Friend's name> said you were shy and I totally respect that, but if you want to text me or call me sometime, my phone number is <my number>. But I enjoy talking to you on here, that is cool too. Whatever you are comfortable with is cool!" I just didn't want to ask her for her phone number and get cut out completely because she'd be too terrified of the proposition of me calling her. I normally always ask for the girl's number, but I wanted to give her the choice, which I felt was the best way to approach it since she is shy. Let her decide when she's ready. I'm trying to avoid overthinking, but perhaps just the fact that I gave her my number is putting pressure on her to call me or text me. Really I am totally fine continuing to talk to her over the computer, but who knows, maybe I wasn't convincing enough. Also, English is not her native language (she's German), so she always tells me that her English is not good. Though I think it is perfectly fine and have reassured her that it is really good. (Even if it wasn't very good, I wouldn't give a shit). But that is still probably another hurdle for her. From our conversations, I remain confident that she has some interest, so I'm not going to get bummed out just yet.

[bloodtippedrose]

Haha. I'm not making excuses for her, I was just trying to predict what she'd be saying next for why she never replied.

Oh lol now I see that. How silly

The language thing is a possible reason she doesnt call you, but if youre having good internet convos then it doesnt much matter. Sounds like you've got a good thing goin with her

[Evo1114]

Game off with online dating site girl (good), game totally back on with awesome yoga girl (woohoo!)!

Yeah, giving her my number wasn't really like a 'here's my number, give me a call so we can do something asap' type of thing. It was more like a, 'hey, I like you, and normally I would ask for your number now, but I respect that you might not be comfortable with that, so here's my number when you are comfortable enough where you want to talk sometime' type of thing. She messaged me back (she's been sick the past few days and since she works for the filthy rich demographic...being sick is not good, so she's been trying to rest it off as much as she can). Anyways, she said (paraphrasing) 'Thanks for your number. Maybe I will call you sometime. Not right now, but give me time'. Which is what I expected and am perfectly cool with. Conversations are going great. She's really starting to open up. Literally, each message she's sent me so far has been longer than the previous.