Girlfriend changed out of the blue : (. So confused

[Musicman86]

Hi all, I recently broke up with my girlfriend and just trying to wrap my head around what happened. I'm 25 and she is 22. Any and all thoughts/comments are appreciated.

I met my ex about 3 months ago online. She was coming to the area to go back to school and messaged me on a site at first to learn a little about the area. We hit it off right away and started talking for hours every night. We met up for the first time a few weeks later and our first date went amazingly well, kissed and both felt great chemistry.

Since she would not be moving down for 2 months, she invited me up to her parent's house for a long weekend a few weeks later. This seemed a little fast, but we seemed to both have really hit it off so I decided to go. The weekend went really well and we slept together for the first time (at her initiation). Again this did feel a little soon, but at the same time felt right. After this we continued to see each other almost every weekend swapping who did the driving. Everything seemed to be going fantastically well and we both said i love you.

About a week before she was going to move down here for college, she started getting very stressed. She was fighting with her dad a lot, trying to figure out everything for school and the logistics of moving. At this point she was still telling me how much she loved me and couldn't wait to move down and see me and everything. The first week after she moved in, things seemed off. I couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong and she seemed distant.

The next weekend out of the blue she tells me that as soon as she started getting stressed out the feelings for me dropped. She said we used to have insane chemistry and then it just dissapeared suddenly. She said she doesn't love me anymore. I tried to figure out what happened and all she could really tell me was she wasn't sure why, but she felt pressured to make time for everything.

She has a seizure condition, takes some medications that mess with her severely, her hormones were seriously out of whack at the time and was very stressed. Her sister seemed to be extremely surprised and thought she had made a crazy/bad decision. Her best friends also seemed to have no clue what was going on. Overall it seemed very random. It's been 4 days since the breakup and neither one of us has contacted the other.

Any thoughts? Suggestions? What might be going on in her head?

[bloodtippedrose]

Hm I know this is a huge stretch from what youve said but it sounds like she was moving to your area on a complete impulse, and used school as an excuse to get to know you. People do crazy things when passion (and meds) are involved. It would seem she was fighting with her dad which motivated her to make the move, even though she really had no serious intentions of moving there to begin with. Once she did and she saw her family completely confused and upset with her decision, she realized how foolish she was being, and all reasons of WHY she did it seemed completely irrelevant, including you.
Personally I think this chick has alot of baggage and is extremely unpredictable so I wouldnt consider her drop of feelings quite a bad thing.
When you said "moved in" was it a separate apartment or your place?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

This girl showed red flags from jump street. Anyone that falls in love that quickly, can fall out of it just as fast. While I think bloodtippedrose went a bit far with his speculation of why she's behaving this way, he's probably not very far off. Anyway, don't contact her, and you should decide whether you would even want to continue things when she contacts you.

[bloodtippedrose]

This girl showed red flags from jump street. Anyone that falls in love that quickly, can fall out of it just as fast. While I think bloodtippedrose went a bit far with his speculation of why she's behaving this way, he's probably not very far off. Anyway, don't contact her, and you should decide whether you would even want to continue things when she contacts you.

Not that it's relevant, but Im a 23yr old female

[rjg117]

Give her another few days, then try messaging her. Keep it short and sweet. Explain to her how confused you are and that you need a better explanation. Tell her that you still have feelings for her and that if she needs more space and time, you're quite willing to give her that.

She obviously has a past - and there could be some things in there that are messing with her. Maybe she recently broke up with a boyfriend and has only just realised that she is not ready for another relationship so soon.

Just give her time. In the mean time, try to get on with your own life. Not saying go out and **** the next girl you see, but keep yourself open in every way - also find some things to distract you in the mean time.

That is my advice. Not going to bother you with my analysis. I prefer giving advice that people can act on rather than ponder on. Take that as you will.

[bloodtippedrose]

I prefer giving advice that people can act on rather than ponder on. Take that as you will.

Acting without thinking is like shooting without aiming

[rjg117]

Acting without thinking is like shooting without aiming

In this particular situation I think it is best to take action rather than continue thinking and over thinking - trying to understand the situation. Your quote makes sense in other situations, but not this one imo. People come here wanting advice.. people give them more to think about. Doesn't particular help their situation, other than to give them a different, varying view on a situation. They are already thinking way to much about it if they are coming to a forum for advice.

In short, don't over think things... I've seen people think themselves into being unhappy quite often. People need to think, make a plan, and take action. I believe OP has done enough thinking at this point. He needs to move on with life.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Not that it's relevant, but Im a 23yr old female

It's not relevant, and my advice doesn't change. I do have another question though, are you her first g/f or female partner?

[bloodtippedrose]

Im not the OP

[rjg117]

Im not the OP

I'm not sure anyone said you were?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Yeah, FACEPALM.


That is awesome that I thought that though hahaha.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I'm not sure anyone said you were?

I did. She was telling me that she's a girl because I said, "his speculation". I thought it was the OP saying that she's a lesbian, in case it mattered with regard to my advice. All very amusing to me.

[bloodtippedrose]

sorry, I confused you

[rjg117]

Ah lol I see.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Not everyday you see a chick w/ a dude wielding akimbo Uzi's as an avatar.