Inexperienced or just stupid?

[lostinconfusion]

So if a guy, that you know likes you, asks you to go to concert with him but then later asks "did you get around to ordering your ticket yet", is he stupid or really has no idea how things work....I have no problem paying for my ticket which i fully intended to do when I was under the impression that he was asking me already having the tickets on hand, but COME ON! Now this guy is super shy and obviously inexperienced with women. All our mutual acquaintances think he likes me, so I have been patiently dealing with his awkwardness and inability to make a move (this is someone I deal with at work on a daily basis) but even if a guy has very little experience with women, can he honestly be this ignorant about the common courtesy of asking a girl to a concert....I'm so lost here. I thought I've seen all the loss of chivalry in this world but this is truly beyond my understanding. Please help!

[blent]

Did he tell you he would buy the ticket for you? If not, then I don't understand why he should pay for your ticket just because he has a penis.

[KingZ]

I have been patiently dealing with his awkwardness and inability to make a move

Well, why don't you get off your lazy ass and make a move yourself?

[IndiReloaded]

How on earth are you supposed to sit together if you don't order tickets together? Just ask him if this is a date or not. I hope if he pays for your ticket you reciprocate with something of equal value, take him to dinner first or something.

[Ric]

I disagree, Blent. If you ask a girl if she wants to go to a concert it's pretty much implied you pay for it. Otherwise you need to indicate right away that she would need to pay for her own ticket.
And it would be smart to word it differently, like, "Hey, I'm going to this concert, maybe you feel like coming as well."

[lostinconfusion]

@ blent

If you read what i wrote carefully you would see that i clearly stated i don't need his money. I know how cheap guys are these days and I had every intention of paying for the ticket. You are all so busy assuming the "i have a penis I have to pay everything blah blah blah" bullshit and then wonder why women go for much older men who actually know how to treat them well.

@ doppelmakemelol

You are insulting a-hole who needs to keep your comments to yourself. I never said I haven't made my own moves but I don't intend on courting a guy. Hell with it. You men are ridiculous these day. You give us all crap about having to do a tiny bit of work in the beginning of the relationship but are completely blind to that fact that for the rest of the relationship, and god forbid marriage, a woman has to babysit you like a little baby and do everything for you. So... F U.

IndiReloaded and Ric Thank you for normal answers.

[carl1222]

It isn't really a gender thing ... If I invite someone to do something with me, and it costs money, I always assume that I will be paying ... not because I am a man but because I extended the invitation. If not, I would make it clear when I asked by saying something definite like "I'm going to the Vomit Omelette concert next Friday. If you want to meet me there, we can coordinate our ticket purchases."

[HeartIsAching]

I don't see it as a gender issue. If you ask someone out to an event, you should pay, unless you've made it clear that it's dutch treat.

It's just good manners, not gender-driven.

[Ric]

I don't see it as a gender issue. If you ask someone out to an event, you should pay, unless you've made it clear that it's dutch treat.

It's just good manners, not gender-driven.

Exactly this! ^

[Lillypond]

This probably isn't a date. That is why he expect you to pay for your own tickets. I highly doubt he can be THAT stupid. Even guys who has never dated knows how it goes.

[sadie_genie]

This guy sucks! lol

[MaidenMinx]

Whenever I invite someone to a concert I discuss with them immediately who will be responsible for ticket purchasing. Usually it's me. For a seated concert tickets should be bought together, but if its standing room only it doesn't matter if tickets are bought together or not.

How did he ask though? Did he go out of his way to ask if you wanted to go OR was he discussing the concert when you expressed interest? If he went out of his way to ask you he doesn't have particularly good people skills.

[smackie9]

He could be all of the above, cheap, stupid, inexperienced....who knows. Maybe he has such low self esteem issue that he already thinks it's not going to happen anyways.

[smackie9]

Dopplemakemelol has a valid point. With some shy guys like him YOU CAN'T expect them to be the man and take you by the hand and make all the calls. Shy guys want an aggressive girl to take the lead. If you are not willing to play this role then ditch the idea of ever dating him.

[Vanity]

I don't see why girls always expect men to pay, especially on a first date.

I know how cheap guys are these days

I mean seriously? You don't want to pay for your own ticket and you are calling him cheap.

If it was dinner and a first date then the couple should go half and half. He should only be paying once you are actually dating and have been for awhile, and even then only if he wants to. Hell, me and my boyfriend have been dating a year now and we still take turns paying for things (even though he is a sweetheart and always offers to pay every time.) Why? Because that is how things should work in an equal relationship. Women "these days" want to be equal to men and yet still expect to be taken care of.

If he wants to pay for your ticket then that's fine, let him. But he obviously doesn't want too, so just get over yourself and do it. That are don't go.

You all say it is not a gender driven thing, but I really doubt by the way OP is talking badly about "men these days" that it isn't.