Just met this girl yesterday, how to proceed?

[richardwordoff]

Hello everyone.

I was at a big club meeting at the university yesterday and while I was getting pizza I was looking around and when I looked in this one girl's direction she smiled at me. Not knowing for sure if this meant anything, I went over and sat down next to her. She spoke up and told me that she saw me everywhere, introduced herself and then asked me what my name was. I can't recall seeing this girl before, yet she said she saw me all the time. I don't remember exactly how, but when I told her what my major was she told me she was just about to ask that (the club was a major specific one, although people of different majors in the intro classes were there too). I talked to her a little while about her major, how boring the meeting was, etc.

Later on she said that her bus was coming soon but that she was going to stay there a few more minutes. Then she said "hey, let's go move to those chairs in the front to see if we can win any prizes". So we ended up moving and I sat with her for about 10 minutes or so before she got up and said thay she would see me around the building where all my classes are.
As she was leaving I had an "oh crap if you don't do this now you won't see her again" moment and stopped her and asked her if she had a facebook (I thought I'd look like a desperate idiot asking for her number after just meeting her). She took out a piece of paper and wrote down her full name. I was trying to say what my name was so she would recognize my request, but I was sort of stumbling around my words/hesitating and I think she sensed this because she said "I'm pretty easy to find" after writing it down.

I waited a couple hours and sent her a request and now I'm just waiting for a response (probably been like 10hours or so, no big deal). It may have been nothing but friendliness, but it seems like there is a good chance she is interested in me. I mean, I go across the room and sit next to her and she offers up the fact that she sees me all the time. For some reason she has noticed me. I guess I'm trying to be cautious in my approach and not think it is a sure thing because this girl is really attractive. What do you think?

Anyway, my plan is to try and talk to her on facebook for a while and gauge how talkative she is. If she seems like she would I think I'm gonna say something like: "hey, whats your #? Let's talk on the phone" and then ask her about going to eat with me and going to play a sport (her facebook says she is really active) like tennis or something.

Thoughts?

[Kyrina]

You seem to have an idea where your going with this, and like all of us that initial introduction is a oh my god will they wont they syndrome.
If she doesnt answer your request send another saying where you met her from.There doesnt really seem to be a problem here other than waiting and seeing if you really have a chance with her.
Good luck i hope she answers soon

[richardwordoff]

I was saying it was an "oh my god if you don't do something you're wasting a huge opportunity you idiot!" moment. I'm glad I didn't wuss out and not ask at all. I'm even more pleased that I walked across the room and sat next to her just going off just a smile. If she wasn't receptive at all she probably would have acted a little weirded out.

I guess what I was asking if a) my approach seemed reasonable and b) if I was making the situation into something it is not. When I'm not really worrying about whether or not she will accept just yet. By the way, when I sent the request it didn't give an option to attach a message. She has a school email in the directory and I guess in the case I don't get a response in a few days I'll try emailing her.

[oldskool83]

i would of just asked for her number to text her. if you guys are in school how much time are ya really gonna spend chatting on FB? i think texting would lend quicker and easier responces. If ya talked with her ya already broke the ice so your legal to ask for the number. i did the other week, got it instantly and was made aware it was an out of state number and not a bogus one...i called it right away to see if she was bluffin lol...im a dick like that.

[richardwordoff]

Yeah, if and when she accepts it I'll probably send her a message or chat and tell her facebook is cumbersome and ask her if she has a texting package. I thought asking for the number up front would freak her out. In the past once I've asked for a number girls instantly think I want to marry them or something.

[searock]

I think you did the right thing keep us updated!

[Yet another guy]

I agree with oldskool83 in that it would have been ok to ask her number and that's what I would've done as well.
What I would do after acquiring the number whether it was right away or through facebook, I would not text her but instead call her to ask if she would like to go out for drinks/coffe/tea.
Good luck with whatever approach you choose

It's indeed a good idea not to worry about her answer at all. I don't think I could be very indifferent in your situation, but if you can, good for you. I wonder why you couldn't attach a message to your friend request. I always attach one when I send requests.

[oldskool83]

and if you do talk to her dont blow her texter or phone up everyday, wait a day or so then continue the conversation. wait a few days and she will be checking in on ya. unless she has the time or says ill call or you call me next day hold off a few.

hope it works for ya.

[Kyrina]

*jumps up and down waving * ask for my number i wont want to marry you (hehe)


No seriously your doing good already and oldskool i agree not to blow up the texter or phone but at least limit his messages and not leave her hanging she may think he's ignoring her, because girls these days have those damn things surgically planted in their hand or ear

[richardwordoff]

She accepted my friend request about lunch time today. Moving on...

What is god's holy name is this girl's problem? I talked to her for a couple minutes today on facebook chat (nothing really, asked her what was up, said she was in class, then just kinda signed off) and then about an hour ago I sent her a text message as her phone number was clearly visible on facebook to all of her EIGHT-F'IN-HUNDRED friends.

Conversation verbatim:
Me: "Hey, would this happen to be her_name?"
Her: "Anna?"
Me: "Are you asking if this is Anna or are you saying that you are Anna?"
Her: "Lol, this is her_name"
Her: "Who is this?"
(all these messages were returned in 3 minutes or less)
Me: "This is my_name. I met you yesterday at the club meeting. I saw this # on your facebook page. Facebook messages are cumbersome; would you mind talking this way?"
...... 30 minutes no response
Me: "Ok then..."
...... 40 minutes no response
Me: "I guess I'll take that as a "No." Bye"

What the hell is her problem? What kind of person smiles at someone and then when they sit down next to them say "I see you everywhere. My name is _name_. What's yours?"? It isn't like she didn't have the opportunity to leave. Instead, she asks me to move with her to a different spot and stays there right up until it is time for her to go catch her bus, at which point she says "I'll see you around the science building." god %#$^&*%ing damnit. You have no idea how badly I wanted to cuss her out and call her out on being way too f'in friendly, but I held off and just sent what I wrote above.

Now that I'm in rant mode, here is something else that happened today:
I was in the cafeteria today and walked up to a table (most of the other tables were taken so it didn't look too odd) and asked the girl sitting there if I could sit there (four chair table). She looked at me really funny and was like "...ok". After such a weird response I just decided I wasn't going to say a freaking word to her the whole time I was eating my lunch. After about 5-10 minutes she speaks up and says "hey, what is your name?", asks me what year I am, etc. I talk to her a little bit, I joke with her some and she is laughing a fair amount. She gets up later to go to her class and says: "thanks for sitting here with me, it's normally so boring just sitting here!". I said: "Well, it's been nice talking to you. Do you have a Facebook or email that you use?" Then this is her response: "Well, yeah, but I normally don't give it out" to which I responded "well, OK, bye."

Are both of these two girls this @#$%ing dumb to think acting this way isn't going to lead anyone on? What the hell?

[richardwordoff]

Thoughts..?

[Yet another guy]

A few opinions:
Nothing surprising about her signing off when you pester her during class.
If you send a text to a girl who doesn't know your number, explain who you are first.
Text messages are way more cumbersome than facebook messages. And they cost money.
Text messages like "Ok then..." that have no content are weird, at least in my opinion.
Maybe she really hates texting, some people do. In that case she was possibly quite turned off by your suggestion.

As for your second encounter, here's what I would have said:
-"Well, it's been nice talking to you. Do you have a Facebook or email that you use?"
-"Well, yeah, but I normally don't give it out"
-"It's just that you seem like a nice girl and I kinda like you"

That way I would have at least given my best shot. (Okay, I probably would have been too flustered to come up with something as coherent as that )

Oh well, girls are super picky about who they befriend. Better luck next time I guess.

[MaidenMinx]

First off, as public as her number might have been, you didn't have permission to use it. Next time, ask first.

The second girl wasn't leading you on, she was having a conversation with you.

[Andariel]

1st girl: like Yet Another Guy said text messages are expensive whilst FB is free!Also, texting her is a lot more direct that a FB message so maybe you just came across as a bit creepy/ pushy. Next time avoid doing that and just stick to a less direct way of communication at first, until the girl herself gives you her phone number or if she asks for yours.

2nd girl: my guess, is she was just being friendly and you misinterpreted that.You were sitting at the same table and she probably felt weird about not saying a word to you.She was just being polite. Even if she enjoyed your company , you probably creeped her out a bit when you asked her for her FB/email. A lot of girls are really cautous about giving out their number/email/FB to someone they have just met. Best approach in similar situations: don't ask for her number.Say you enjoyed meeting her and would be great if you could hang out sometime.Then give her your number or email or FB and ask her to contact you if she wants to meet for a coffee or something.

[surfhb]

Conversation verbatim:
Me: "Hey, would this happen to be her_name?"
Her: "Anna?"
Me: "Are you asking if this is Anna or are you saying that you are Anna?"
Her: "Lol, this is her_name"
Her: "Who is this?"
(all these messages were returned in 3 minutes or less)
Me: "This is my_name. I met you yesterday at the club meeting. I saw this # on your facebook page. Facebook messages are cumbersome; would you mind talking this way?"
...... 30 minutes no response
Me: "Ok then..."
...... 40 minutes no response
Me: "I guess I'll take that as a "No." Bye"

Really Richard?!! Im serious Bro.....you need to write a book on how to get rejected by women....it might be good therepy.

First of all....why do find it just a big deal in asking another human being for thier number?

2nd....just have a normal conversation. ex: "Hi ...this is Richard from the club"

3rd....she clearly blew you off when you said " "This is my_name. I met you yesterday at the club meeting. I saw this # on your facebook page. Facebook messages are cumbersome; would you mind talking this way?" - Dont ask her what she wants...tell her what you want and let her accept or not...make sense?

AND THEN.....when you didnt get a response you decided to say another douchie thing like " OK then" and " I guess that mean No" Ha Ha! She may have been busy Richard...or had to take a dump! Who knows, she may have really liked you but seeing those responses clearly says " Im an Insecure douchebag when I dont get my Way"

Your approach just sound creepy.....its makes you sound like a douche. Be the Man and ask her for her number and call her....thats its! You treat meeting women like its a big elaborate deal.