What are you supposed to do about guys who...

[doll69]

are interested at first then become (or appear to become) uninterested when you show interest???

Why-oh-why do guys do this? Is it because:

1. It' funny to see how the girl comes crawling back when you show interest
2. It's funny to **** with the girl's mind cos they simply have nothing better to do
3. They become scared or some sort because you don't know what to do when the girl shows interest back?

How is an inexperienced girl supposed to deal with this?? Anyone please!!!!

[Jellybelly]

I know exactly what you're talking about - see the question I posted a few days ago. After asking everyone I know about this I have found that guys live and die for the thrill of the chase. So if you like a guy that has been showing you interest - be ambiguous above all. That way, he's intrigued and therefore, yours for the taking.

Or, do what I recently decided to do: Somebody wants to play games, ****s with your head, just leave and never look back. They're not worth it.

[DBallerz]

Shes right, we love to be chased around. We think that if we do that, the girl will desire us more, which eventually would lead to you doing anything for us. Men are assholes, but girls are stupid.

[doll69]

I have a question though, where would you draw the line between him acting this way because we didn't "show enough interest" and him acting this way he's an *******?

Like for example, a big problem I have is that I have trouble showing interest. If I'm interested in someone, I'll look at them a lot (and make sure they know it) but that's about it. I'm even scared of smiling for fear of them not returning it (note this is not at all a problem with a person I'm not interested in). In the light of this, I'm scared of jumping to conclusions too soon that the guys are just playing games and not acting this way because he himself is not sure that I'm interested.

What do you guys think? And another thing: this thing has been going on for quite some time now, and pls be assured that I have not done ANY favours for this guy, so if that's all he's looking for, I would have thought he'd have realised now that it's not gonna work (and I'm not stupid). However, it could still be the case that he just likes the chase. If not looking back is really the best choice I'll do just that. But I do not want to "give up" so to say, without being assured that there really is nothing more to it than that. Am I not giving enough signals? Is this, in your experience, a likely cause of this problem?

You guys are soo great, pls keep the helpful responses coming, I really apreciate it!

[Junket]

Girls are just as bad.

[prelude01]

I'm new to this game too but, I'm learning. If I show to much interest in a girl they seems to be overwhelmed and usually don't return the favor. So I try to even attention and non-attention giving out. I'm sure everyone likes the chase even women like to chase. I'm a bad judge of hints and usually tell a girl how I feel after a while. Yeah whoa not smooth but, gets me results on unanswered questions. *laugh* After a while its just a game. Who knows really what the other sex is thinking unless we get mind reading abilites. Oh wells.........I guess its just GAME ON!!!! Let's Play!

[whitedragon20na]

Unfortunately, I've been in the same situation (and I'm a guy) many times. It happenes both ways and I don't know what the problem is. All I know is that hopefully I've finally found a girl that likes me as much as I like her and I love her with all my heart.
Just find a guy that's not a dickhead about shit like that and one that will like you for who you are and not because he's having fun.
Good Luck, hope I helped a bit.

[bball_1523]

i'm sorry that you have to feel this way about a guy you like.

I kinda feel the same way as you with a girl I'm interested in right now. I have no clue what's going on and am trying to get a hold of her to talk to her, but have had problems doing so.

Honestly, if a guy likes you and somedays he doesn't show interest, maybe his mind just isn't in the right place right now. For me, I like this girl right now, I just got her number and want to hang out with her, but haven't yet. Whenever I want to talk to her, I think about how I wanna act and show some affection. But when I talk to her, I get kinda nervous and I say stupid things or act in stupid ways that doesn't let the girl see that I'm interested in her, BUT really I AM INTERESTED! lol

So please don't give up on him, you know, he might be interested in you but has a hard time doing so. I bet if you have a chance to talk to him more, he will feel more comfortable talking to you and his interest will rise out of the roof.

[cutiekitti16]

Same thing happened to me. This guy flirted with me on and off. One day he would be totally around me and paying attention and flirting and the next completely ignoring me. Well a couple of weeks ago, he was totally flirting with me, yada yada, and we were at this party and we flirted and hung around each other ALL NIGHT and then monday at school BAM he's dating this other girl!?! I've now realized he wasn't worth my time and have moved on with a much nicer, better, decent guy who's worth my time. If a guy really really likes you, he won't mess with you like that.

[richardrli]

The guys you've described in your situation is clearly not worth your time, any guy who's really interested would move in without a moment of hesitation.

[bball_1523]

The guys you've described in your situation is clearly not worth your time, any guy who's really interested would move in without a moment of hesitation.

I personally think that's not true. Sometimes guys are just nervous and don't have a whole lot of skills when it comes to interacting with women. You gotta help him out and maybe make some moves. Just don't let it get to your mind, and it's not his fault that you are getting all confused and stuff. One thing to remember is that the only reason we feel at all is because of how we interpret things that we say make us feel one way or another.

[yoshikuni]

Its a whole see-saw effect. I've been there. As many hints as you throw out, maybe he's just not picking up on them, cause maybe he's new to this whole scene too and is not very girl-oriented. Maybe he is, but is majorly doubting himself and doesn't want to embarass himself by asking or showing straight-out affection toward you for fear of what comes next. Just, remember this guys and girls, no matter how much you plan for the situation, you can never really tell what will truly happen until you are in the situation. (I love this psychological mumbo-jumbo)

[Laguna]

Girls are just as bad.

I approve this message.

[doll69]

Wow, thnx to all who've replied

I guess what I've really learnt is that there is no way of knowing, seem like the ppl who think to keep at it and to stop thinking about this is split half half.

I think what I'm going to do is to trust my gut. Your gut never lies right? That's what everyone says, but just wondering whether anyone has had any experiences where their instincts weren't completely right?

[richardrli]

I just enjoy seeing a girl get angry, like you did in the first post.