20 Years and 16

[stynieke]

Hey all,

Let me start by saying I'm a 20-year old guy. Lately, this 16-year old girl (a friend from a friend) has a huge crush on me. And to be honest, I really really like her aswell...
The thing is, shes really mature for her age etc - so the maturity level is no problem for me.

But the question is, how would other people see it? Should I start dating her, or rather not? I've been searching other forums about it, and they're all saying it's pervertet, or pedo... So I'm starting to doubt if i should :s.

Would greatly appreciate your honest opinions on this...!

[Ric]

Other people will consider you a perv, will sometimes call you a pedo, will tell you to get someone your own age, will call you a loser that can't get a real girlfriend, etc. That is what you can expect.
It's up to you to decide whether you can live with that or not.

[searock]

I agree with Ric!

[Wakeup]

What's the age of consent where you live? You'd best find out or you could end up being charged with statutory rape and a record for the rest of your life (even if it's consentual).

[devonbrown]

Even if it is legal where you are, you have to consider the differences between you two. While she may be mature for her age, she is still at a different point in her life than you are. She is still in school and you are just starting out in life. You guys can't hang out with her friends because they are busy with prom. She has homework to do and won't be able to go out to that concert you want to see. Etc.

You are both young (her even moreso), and have a lot of learning about yourselves to do first. Learn about who you are and let her learn about who she is before you jump into anything.

[surfhb]

Its also interesting to add that these ages were perfectly acceptable for marriage 50 years ago. Not anymore

[christina:)]

If she is mature enough for you I don't believe that the age is a problem. I am 17 and I believe that even a year ago I knew what I wanted.. I wouldn't call you a perv or a pedo..
But if there are people who would you should really consider if you can make it work.. not only because they will call you that but also because she is a student (right?) she has friends at the same age likely not as mature.. you should think if you want to be involved in this stuff

[oldskool83]

i dated some girl bout that age when i was that age, think she was 17 fo rlike 5 years. your at different stages, id be friends but for now just let it be. in 4 years she gonna be where you are, in 4 years you wont be where u are right now.

[vashti]

Half your age plus 7 years. <-- That is the rule.

[bloodtippedrose]

My friend dated a 16 year old when he was 20. He was teased alot but loved her/made out with her and wouldn't have sex with her until she turned 18. He decided to join the navy and propose to her which didn't last long because less than 6 months of him away at boot camp and she had cheated on him.

Point of the story is that 16 is not mature no matter which way you look at it. You're going to be called a pedophile, you're going to have to withhold sex, and it probably won't last because her hormones and emotions are changing rapidly and she will crave experiences and variety before any sort of relationship stability. Not to mention relationship stability would probably hold her back because it takes a few failed relationships to learn about yourself and your own needs. If you truly like her, wait it out a few years. I'm sure by the time she's 18 you both would have moved on, and if not then it was meant to be.

[jb1111983]

You're asking for advice because you're not sure what to do with this. My advice is don't date her. Although the age gap is not that big, like if she were 21 and you 25 it could well work out, but she's just 16. So if you really like her just be friends and see how you feel about her 2 years down the line. Besides it's very common for girls of her age to have a crush on a little older guys. Meanwhile, if you find a girl you like who's of the same age as you, go date her.