Friends or more - a unique situation

[burntandbroken]

Hey folks,

So I am in a unique situation - unique because I havent been able to find any advice related to my situation out there on the the internet! Anyways, theres this girl that I have know for about 6 months now. We stay in the same apartment complex and we met in the clubhouse - we both play squash. Since the time we met we have been playing regularly and she seems to be so interested in talking about anything but me (the game, her life, her work etc.). So this one fine day, we were out on a squash related errand and she asked me of I want to get some lunch - of course I did. I ended up having one of the best lunches of my life (mostly coz I was so into this girl and was over the moon assuming this girl had asked me out). Anyways, that same day I ended up asking her out to this karaoke place which sucked coz it was too loud, crowded and well, we both go t really bored there. In spite of that I mustered up the courage to ask her out the next weekend for dinner and she agreed. Again I ended up having the best time and conversation. Then one fine day, she brought me some food she had cooked and I promptly returned the gesture by cooking something for her. That is the story in brief with one fine detail missed out - I always get an inclination from her that we are just friends in spite of sharing so many things that we like (sports, outdoors, family backgrounds, views on kids, things we like to do). We havent talked about intimate things yet coz honestly I have been too afraid to do so - dunno what her story is. I believe that she hasnt had a bf in a while (maybe she is gay - doubt it?) I would love to be with this woman but I am at a loss as to what I should do to 1. make her know I look at her at relationship material 2. if we are just friends then how to get it to something more....

[searock]

Ask her if she's attracted to you? Just a text will do. If the answer is yes, work your way from there. If it's no, the awkwardness will last only as much as the first 5 minutes of the next conversation, you'll be back to your good friendship then.

[devonbrown]

I am sorry, searock, but texting her to ask her if she is attracted to him? Why doesn't he just pass her a note in homeroom: "Do you like me? Check yes or no."

You want to know if she likes you or if she just sees you as a friend? Ask her out. On a date. Make it clear that it isn't a squash errand or just a hangout/get together. Make a plan, ask her to something specific. And make it clear that you are asking her on a date. If she says yes, she probably likes you. If she says no, she probably doesn't.

Sometimes it can be that simple. Just remember that no matter what her response is, it isn't the end of the world.

Good luck.

[IndiReloaded]

OMG, guys can be so dense. Of course she's into you. She spends time playing sports w/you, brings you food and [gasp] asked you out for lunch. Do you need it written in the sky as well?

Ask her on a date already before some other guy with more courage hustles her first. Good luck.

[Yet another guy]

OMG, guys can be so dense. Of course she's into you. She spends time playing sports w/you, brings you food and [gasp] asked you out for lunch. Do you need it written in the sky as well?

Ask her on a date already before some other guy with more courage hustles her first. Good luck.

She might like him as just a friend but yeah, asking her on a date is adviceable.

[searock]

I suggested the direct question (obviously it would be better to ask her in person, but I realize it can get embarrassing) because even if he asks her out on a date, depending on how it goes she could still not "get it" or else keep acting friendly without explicitly saying she doesn't like him that way etc. I think directly asking her is the best way to get it done with and stop wondering, but that's just me (I'd probably do that with a guy, or I'd just tell him "hey, I like you that way" and see his reaction to that).

[Yet another guy]

Sure it's a good idea to talk this through but a text is a very bad choice. It's better to use such a medium that lets him know she has received and understood the question, and gives her a chance to immediately respond. You wouldn't want to be left hanging if you asked such an important question from a guy you liked, would you?
This is obviously a thing that he should talk about during the date if he asks her out. If he or she doesn't bring it up when he asks her out, of course.

[Adar]

Make the first move, she probably expects you to (since men typically make the first move). So why not ask her to dinner at yours, cook up soething tasty, get out a horror film, and while there's a scary part put your arm around her.

At worst, she'll pull away. But honestly, if she's willing to come to your house, and sit on the couch to watch a movie with you, she's probably into you!