Please help, just give me some input!!!

[syrup]

Please anyone just give whatever advice and input you can! This is really long, I am sorry but I want the whole story so people can give me the best advice and input. I am interested in a female coworker that has known I am married since she started, I recently left my wife because she cheated on me in January and hasn't made any real attempt to fix us, and I just don't see the same person I fell in love with. I am not just trying to jump into a new relationship, I just can't see passing up any potential opportunity with this girl. I had six months to either regain my feelings or get over my wife, and I got over her. My feelings just get stronger the more I'm around my coworker and I have never felt this way before even with my wife. I needed to leave my wife, I didn't trust her and I just thought about all her lies, I left her for what she did, not my coworker.


Now I just need some input and advice, I just don't know if she is just really sweet and nice or shares some of my feelings. I think she shares some of my feelings, I feel she is sending signals and may want me to make the move. She is very outgoing to everyone we work with, she's just a very sweet person and we have a lot in common. We've been working together once a week for about the last three months. We play practical jokes on each other and have as much fun as we can while still doing our job. She calls me buttercup in front of other employees we work with and in messages and texts she puts a Y at the end of my name (like Mikey rather than Mike), she doesn't do this to others. Awhile back we made a bet to hang out and ask random people out to see who would be turned down the most (we both think we don't do well with the opposite sex). We both think that the other can do better than the other, and the one who gets the most no's is the winner and is treated to dinner (I suggested this and she agreed, signal?). I find myself saying things to her that make it obvious I have feelings for her. When we first started working together she asked if I had any friends she may like and I told her that I didn't know anyone good enough for her, she smiled and thanked me without awkwardness. I gush and tell her how good she is at our job and how she is the best employee we have and how our company got lucky getting her (I mean and believe every word I say), and just how good of a person she is, she makes me want to be a better person.

She also says similar things to me (not as gushy though) and tells me that I am an honest and really good person etc. We work overlapping shifts so she gets out before I do, for the last month she has been wanting me to wait to head out of the office so she can walk out with me when she leaves. One day we had a misunderstanding, I felt really bad because she seemed pretty upset with me (she later said she was just joking and that she was a little disappointed and that I just took her too seriously). the next week we worked and had our usual fun and she asked for my opinion about a guy she had been dating for the last few months . She worked with him at her previous job and she didn't feel he wanted a serious relationship. I tactfully told her to forget him and she agreed (was she telling me this to send a signal?). I then decided to tell her about my marriage problems, at first she said I should try to work on things, I explained in depth to her how I felt and she agreed and said I should leave. She then told me that I could stay at her place (couch, spare room) if I needed instead of staying at a crappy motel so that I would be in a place with someone who cares (I told her that I stayed at one for a weekend when I caught my wife). While telling her about my feelings I got caught up in the moment and I truthfully told her that the happiest I had been since January was when I got to work with her, she smiled and thanked me without any awkwardness. I had wanted to make up for the misunderstanding so I got her a snack she always buys (to show I remember things about her) and a bottle of a food condiment, from an inside joke that we talk about often (this is to show I can be sentimental) before work that day. When I was walking with her to her car I gave it to her, she became flustered and had a big smile (basically acting like a girl) . She accepted my gifts, but didn't give me a hug, I wasn't sure what to expect so I wasn't too disappointed. I walked away and she waited until I was gone and left a note on my car telling me to cheer up and that she would see me in a week, and signed it "love" followed by an inside joke "name" we have for her.

For a couple of weeks after that when we worked together she didn't bring up my marriage problems that much, but we did start talking about more personal things and opening up. I continued saying sweet things that I feel make it obvious that I have feelings for her. We talked on Facebook and we also texted a little, but I�m the one who always is starting the messages and am usually the one who sends that last message (I later found that she always waits for that guy she was dating to contact her even though she was interested). I finally left my wife a couple of weeks ago at the beginning of our vacation (I wanted my wife to have time before going back to work). I was very respectable and did it carefully and truthfully, she had suspicions I had feelings for my coworker and I told her the truth (I've always been very truthful). The day after I left my wife I had a meeting at work that I was forced to be at, I told my coworker that I had left my wife. We were not able to talk about it and I wasn't able to talk to her after the meeting. My wife left so I was alone in the house, I ending up texting my coworker and she asked how things were, I told her and moved on to just gushing about how much I wished I was just at work with her. She said it was boring without me there and we continued to say really sweet things back and forth (more gushy and sweet from me) until we both fell asleep (it was about 2am and were messaging for about an hour). I never told her how I really felt about her but I don't see how she could see it any other way. I was asked to come back to work a day early and I did so because it had me working with her, I told her I only picked it up because I would be working with her and that I wanted to end my vacation with a smile, she seemed genuinely happy that I did this. While we were working she asked if I was going to tell people and I told her I was going to wait. She said that she noticed I wasn't wearing my ring, because she always noticed it before (Signal?), and that others may notice too. She then asked if it was really over or if I was just going to end up back with her, I told her it was really over, she asked a few more times during that shift with the same responses from me (Signal?). I told her that I had packed up most of my wives things because she was moving out (My wife was obviously not happy about what happened but doesn't blame me due to her actions in January and her inaction's to rectify the situation since), and I told her that there were no decorations in my house now and that I'd have to go and have to shop alone (I was trying to get her to offer to help me) . She immediately offered to go shopping with me and began offering decorating suggestions (we are currently planning this day). The next week I went out and got her favorite snack, chocolates, and a bead for a bracelet she has (the color of the food condiment for our inside joke, (again trying to be sentimental), as a thank you for listening/birthday gift/congratulations for a part time job she got. I was very nervous to give her the bead since its jewelry, when I gave her the gifts she again became flustered and had a big smile, she loved her gifts and gave me a hug immediately after accepting them. I asked if it was okay for me to give her the bead because it was jewelry and she said it was perfectly fine and that she was putting it on her bracelet when she got home. After I walked her to her car and left she again put another note on my car, thanking me for her gifts, and she texted me to thank me when she got home.


Now our shifts are changing at work, we were talking about the shifts and what we were picking. She told me what she was getting and that she noticed I could pick a shift that would give us that same days off (she told me this with a big smile). once I put in for that shift and was approved I told her via message and she replied that it was the best news all day and that she was very excited.


Now I know this is quick since I just started my divorce but I feel that things are just falling into place for a reason. I feel she is sending signals and just wants me to make the move (remember she waits for guys to contact her). I just have really strong feelings and I'm just nervous about reading her wrong and being turned down. I'm not concerned about losing my job, it will not be an issue if our bosses find out (either if she is with me or turns me down). Should I take it slow and wait to tell her to see how our shopping trip goes, and try to make additional plans? I think I should just wait and see but I am nervous that she may think I want to just be friends and end up back with the guy she was dating or another guy.


Thanks

[Gal4Love]

Whoa friend, this was alot to read and take in. Since there is so much, I will try to point upon everything that ran through my mind as I read this. So, I apologize now for the length this will become. But I do come from experience with this kind of situation.

First, about your wife. I realize that you are questioning about your co-work however I need to address the wife first because it is still new to you. No doubt, it is difficult to forgive when our spouse has had sex with someone else. But that's just it; we are flabbergasted that our spouse would err against the marriage in such a way. We feel duped, unloved, and deceived! We want restitution at all costs! For some of us that means divorce. This initial feeling, of course, is completely understandable .Healing your after a cheating episode can be very hard. You are healing the emotional wounds that have torn your heart apart, pierced your soul and shattered your trust in your spouse, faith in your relationship, wounded your self image and your ego and drained all your self esteem away. Emptiness. We have been hurt deeply by the unfaithfulness of our spouse and justify our own bad behavior by literally making ourselves the victim of our spouses err. But who really is the victim here? In reality, we make our self the victim of our spouse's weakness by obsessing over it and not forgiving. We do that to our self. No one does that for us. Did our spouse have an affair to do wrong purposely against the marriage? I don't think so. Most of the time when a spouse is unfaithful it has nothing to do with the other spouse. The reasons behind unfaithfulness stem from the need for constant self-gratification, low self esteem, and lack of spiritual wisdom and knowledge. Our feelings tell us to be bitter because our spouse had sex with someone else. So what do we do? We become bitter! Our feelings tell us to stay resentful, and so we resent our spouse. How can we forgive properly when our negative feelings our controlling us! These unhealthy emotions make our attitude, and ultimately tell us how to view the world around us and how to live in the world.

OUR FEELINGS TELL US THE GRASS IS GREENER OVER THERE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE. So we go to the other side.

Which brings me to your main focus. I do believe that this girl has feelings for you. I do believe she is sending you signals. And I do also believe you have genuine feeling for her, this is NOT a "re-bound". I have heard people make the comment regarding “rebound” relationships after a failed marriage. I kind of chuckle as personally I don’t think this simple analogy applies to relationships following a marriage. People generally expect to be married for life. They make serious plans and establish a level of expected commitment that is significantly different than other relationships. When these relationships fail there is a huge sense of loss that takes a long time to heal. Which can cause the tendency for many to want to jump back in to a serious relationship well before they are ready. Some may genuinely feel like they are ready, but they are not. You last wrote "I feel that things are just falling into place for a reason", the reasoning may be because you have found someone who makes you forget the hurt. This does not necessarily mean it is "falling into place" but something that you may have made to help heal.

You have feelings that are undeniable, however you do not want to rush into anything either. You need to heal yourself. Others will aide you and that is wonderful but healing starts within and not with someone. If this girl does have true feelings for you she will also be patient and give you time to heal.

I am very sorry for your hurt and that is what I think you are experiencing the most right now. I am not sure if I was able to help you or if my advice is not what you want, but I do hope I was able to give some insight.

[Kyrina]

I agree with Gal4love, i myself have just left a cheating partner,but have no intention of dating the guy around me who wants to pick up the pieces this is an unfair unjust treatment of the guy because i honestly cant say if my feelings for him would be love at the end of this healing.I think she has feelings for you and i think you should let everything happen in its own time tell her that you have feelings for her if you want but say your still healing and you dont want things to go wrong between you and her, you dont want to attach this baggage to the relationship you have with her.If she wants you she will hang around and be a friend.
Your trust has been seriously damaged can you honestly say that you will/can trust your coworker fully with a battered trust.I know i cant for this guy and we have been friends for a very long time.

Good luck for you

[Gal4Love]

Thank you Kyrina :-) I have read many of your posts and I find you very insightful and have many wise things to say. Best luck to you as well. I am open eyes for any advice or opinions, as well as for you syrup :-)

[syrup]

Thank you for the insight from the last few posts, you both are a really big help, and my mind feels much more at ease at the moment. If you think of anything else that pops out let me know it will only help me more. Oh and just to add some insight on the choice of my user name, the condiment is syrup from our inside joke, again I am sentimental.

Thanks

[Gal4Love]

:-) That is sweet about your name. I'm glad we were able to help put your mind at ease. Again, I spoke from experience and only wanted to give you some insight from what I have learned from my past. I was not marrried but engaged when I learned of my fiance cheating on me. For me, healing started with forgiving my fiance. It didn't matter whether I stayed with him or left. I had to forgive to help heal ME and to move along in life. It's important to know that you're not condoning the actions of your wife by offering forgiveness. It also does not indicate that you'll forget the cheating. What forgiving your wife does mean is that you wish to move forward toward the future and to try to put the affair in the past. As gut wrenching and difficult as forgiveness is, the only real way to heal and recuperate from this detrimental event is through the act of forgiveness. Forgiveness is more important for you, and you need to keep that in mind although it may seem that the forgiveness is more for your wife. The reason it's more important for you is that anyone who's reluctant or unable to forgive will literally become filled with the anger and bitterness that is produced by holding onto the hurt you feel. Not offering forgiveness won't change what has happened and will sooner or later hurt you more than you have already been hurt.
Many wrestle with being able to forgive a cheater because of things they hear other folks say. Well meaning friends and family might ask "how is it possible to forgive" or "I wouldn't forgive" or "you're letting them off too easy by forgiving". Please believe me when I tell you that although these other folks do love and care about you and are concerned about you, they don't in any way comprehend what you're dealing with.
I stayed with my fiance and attempted to mend things. However, I was not able to forgive which lead to ending out relationship. I didnt realize this until later on. It wasnt until quite some time after that, that I learned I needed to forgive not for him but for myself. I needed to still heal. And now I have times that I wish I was able to forgive while I was still with him because then perhaps we would have been able to really mend our relationship and grow stronger.

[syrup]

I completely understand what you are saying, I'll tell you a little more about my marriage to see what you think. We are both 27 and would have been together for eight years this November. She made me go through quite a bit to be with her, and because of my feelings for her, I marched on when other guys would have moved on. We moved out of our family's homes and got our first apartment together. Things were never perfect because of school and our demanding career choices. But we never really fought, it's always been a goofy brother sister type relationship, with joking arguments and rough housing. We did have our arguments but I can say that we never really had a really bad argument until I caught her in January (three months after our wedding). I would have to say we were blessed in our lives before now, our families stepped up and helped us in our first place. We have never struggled with debt, and we are relatively healthy. Unfortunately our jobs are demanding, lots of training, long and odd hours, traveling to and from work. Since we moved in together I found myself doing more things for her and more frequently as the years progressed and I found her doing less for me and for herself (depression). She never wants to do anything for herself unless she's making the initiative. But i always loved her so much and never doubted our relationship.

I've always been very truthful with her (because I trust her and have never been afraid of her cheating or lying, until now), to the dismay of my friends and type A personality coworkers, but it's important to me to have the people I love the most know what I feel and think. I have had a few times in that past eight years where women literally threw themselves at me (not really sure why, but they did) (nothing happened). I was not tempted and made it clear that it was not going to happen due to my love. Upon these incidents I immediately told her about everything leaving out no details to show that I was not hiding anything (again to the dismay of friends and coworkers). At first she was fine but after a short time she would accuse me of wanting to be with them more than her, and I did whatver Icould to let her know that I just wanted her. In all our years together our biggest problem is that I just wanted her around, she always wants to go out to drinking type social events and pretty mush get drunk. I'm not really a bar person, I don't trust the the places that she chooses to frequent because of an advanced knowledge about the things that can and do happen. I never stopped her, I just stated my concerns and that I trusted her but that there are things that she may not be able to control, and she made no honest effort to lessen my worries. I have found that I have been so open, and that she has kept things from me simply because its easier for her.

We were married last October just one month shy of seven years together, I asked for one specific thing from her (I begged her) for the wedding that she has always known was a big deal to me (something for her as well). She promised me that it was taken care of and we would have that one thing, she ended up doing exactly what I didn't want. After the wedding I expressed my disappointment and she promised that she would make it up (not a difficult thing to do), and as of January she didn't. Then I caught her, I had suspicions (the first in over seven years) (I even asked if there was something going on) that something was going on, and I found a lot of obvious evidence. When I presented her with what I found she DENIED it and acted like she didn't do anything. It took a week to get most of the truth from her, and in between I continued to find additional things that she was leaving out. My first thought when she was lying was immediately to divorce her, but I wanted to give what we had a chance. She said she didn't know what she wanted after seven years together and I was devastated, we had just got married, she said she wanted to be her and not us and that everything was us and not her. Still we began working on things and I was suspicious and continued to feel she was doing something or talking to him. She showed me and email from him to her advising that it was over for them, but she only showed me his response and told me that she accidentally deleted her original message. I told her I felt she was lying and that I wanted to know what she said and that I believed there was more than the one email. She denied and denied it, until a month later (February) I had a breakdown and we argued. She finally admitted there were more emails and that she stopped, I asked to see the material and she said that she accidentally deleted them. I then asked why she would keep this from me if we were working on thing and she said she was going to tell me when month or years down the road when things were all better (REALLY?). Up until this point I wasn't trying, I was making it work, because I loved her so much. Once she gave me this news my feelings just began diminishing and I continued to believe she was talking to him etc..

I have tried since then and I just lost all respect and love for her, I never doubted us for seven years and I was always open, honest, and supportive of her. Since January she even admits that she has made no real effort and until she knew I had feeling for someone else she didn't realize what she had. I don't really feel angry, but at times I am just because of what she's done. I have made every effort to make this easier for her because of what she has done for me in the past. I waited for our vacation so she had time before returning to work, I came home from a night shift and woke her to a large breakfast with her favorite things. We ate and I held her hand and listened to her talk about work for an hour (to at least give her one last good memory) until I told her I wanted a divorce. She was devastated but almost immediately asked if something was going on at work (I had told her about the girl at work and about how good of a person she was etc.). I admitted as I said before without hesitation because I am not a liar and lies will just make things worse. We argued and discussed things from 10am to 1am. She left the next day and I began packing during my vacation, I still spoke to her and she still came over to talk. I will not shut her out because of our time together and I am trying to get her through this even though I don't love her anymore. When hug or think of my wife now it just feels empty because the person I knew is gone and the only way that she came back was because she was losing me. I want the person I love around all the time not just when it works in their favor.

Sorry for another long read but this is a good representation of what happened.

[Gal4Love]

First, let me say that you sound like an incredible man. It seems like you also had an extraordinary relationship with only minor difficulties. It is sad to see such a deep love end for you. I believe that you do still have some respect and love for your wife. The reasoning is because you show such care for her by "I will not shut her out because of our time together and I am trying to get her through this". You show great respect indeed. And I can even sense love even though you ended it with "I don't love her". You have so many emotions and thoughts screaming through your mind at this time that it is hard to sort and differentiate. You stary expressing your love you first had for your wife and even end with showing care. Love has this timeless, transcendent quality to it, there's no need to get rid of that, as they say, it can change forms and still be love. If your being-together is over, there's nothing to stop the love from changing into a form appropriate for the current state of your relationship. It sounds like you still have this open conversation with your wife and as you said, won't shut her out, that is very good and I think it speaks alot. :-)
Anytime you want to keep writing "long read"s that's perfectly fine. As I said, I am all eyes to read. I hope I am helping. :-)

[syrup]

You are a big help, since for some reason when I need my friends the most I can't seem to get enough time out of them to really get everything out. And the friends I want to talk to the most are just being flakey, the person I want to talk to the most (syrup) is acting differently lately (last week or two) taking longer to answer messages/txt's. It's busy at work right now so I figured she was just stressed, but I am getting worried, is she doubting me and going with that other guy, are her friends telling her not to get involved, or is she just the type of person who shuts down when stressed? Is she playing hard to get, there are just so many things I am wondering. She was so receptive with me getting the same days off and the planning of our day a week or so ago, I am just concerned about what is going on in her head. She makes my heart beat and I have been feeling so good because she was just giving me signal after signal letting me know that we would happen. Now I feel less secure that we will happen, does she want me to come out and tell her how I feel because she is just as unsure as I am? When I read our story I feel better because she obviously has to know how I feel and she must feel the same if she�s doing the things she's doing, right? Still after seeing her signals I am still afraid she may turn me down. I would be devastated, I am just floored by her and who she is as a person.

I look at her( but I don't stare, although she is gorgeous),and I just see such a good person who just makes me feel so much better about everything. I am confused, we don't talk on the phone because I'm just afraid to call her out of work. I was hoping to see how our day went, and hopefully some more lines of communication would open up. But now I am afraid that may not even happen, I am looking so forward to seeing her outside of work and just being able to act like a couple of goofballs together. I was so happy thinking of us shopping in home goods stores and feeling like a couple and taking us in the right direction. It's only been about a week or so, I may just be overacting but I just don't know. Is this a test to see what I would do? I have moments that I feel so sure and then moments that I have such doubt now. We were so close to just going out and I feel like it�s being taken away from me. I was taking it slow and seeing what was happening, is she thinking it�s going too slow or too fast? Is she just wondering why I�m not telling her how I feel? I love the feeling when I think we are going to happen and then I hate this feeling that it may not. I am embarrassed to admit this but in the last few weeks I look at her and I think in my head �I love you�, I haven�t felt like that in such a long time.

[Gal4Love]

This time is just so confusing for you and then adding someone that you have feelings for creates even greater stress. :-/ As you already think, as well as myself, I do believe this girl may have some feelings for you. I do understand that you are very concerned that she may be "testing" you. However, she should NOT be "testing" you. If she truly cared about you she would be there for you and have great patiance. She needs to be understanding about what you are going through. Yes, you can hangout, talk, but do not rush into things, even if you think that's what she waiting for. You need someone who is there for you and care for you. Again, my friend, you need to look after yourself, heal. If she's a true friend, it anything, she will always be there. Remember, a good relationship starts by becoming friends. :-)

By the way, any feedback about my thoughts on your wife?

[syrup]

Sorry, I meant to but I got caught up about my coworker . You have a good view but I feel it's more that I have love for who she used to be and not who is here now. I remember the person who used to be loving and that I trusted but they are not there anymore. I don't feel love or affection for her, when she hug's me now and over the past six months I just feel nothing, I have more feeling when a guy at work hugs me as a joke. She still looks the same and that obviously reminds me of the old her but its not her. I'm just not the kind of person who would shut another person out who is going through something so difficult. She is devastated about my feelings for my coworker, I just couldn't lie or keep it from her. Lately my wife is actually being erratic, after the first week she seemed to be adjusting well and was going through the grieving process. But in that last two weeks she is everywhere, she loves me, she hates me, she feels it was both are faults (all within a couple of hours). She tries to have sex with me even though she knows I'm thinking about my coworker. I have turned her down but she is becoming more aggressive lately. A few days ago she called up and said she wanted to come over and have a romantic night and you know where that goes. I told her no and when she got out of work she magically became ill and had to come to the house and vomited (I suspect she induced it herself). And she again tried to spend the night, so she went through her processes again from A to Z and made me wonder how things are getting worse rather than better. And today, literally an hour Before I began this she woke me up and tried again. And then told me she wanted to make up for our wedding night, we didn't have one because we were the last people to leave the wedding. She promised before the wedding that we would have that first night together because its something that I was really looking forward to. We were so tired we immediately fell asleep and our one chance at a wedding night was ruined. She said she would make it up since October but she never did. And now that I have deep feelings for another woman she want's to do this? I'm just being thrown all over the place right now. I just don't know why karma is kicking me around like this, I thought things "were just falling into place" as I said and now everything is just falling apart in my eyes. The things that can happen in a week.

You are very insightful and have a very calming way about you, thanks for continuing to assist me in this difficult situation.

[Gal4Love]

Syrup, if you have love for who she used to be, I believe there's some love buried deep in your pain, and anger. Eventually, I believe you will gradually love her again, even though your relationship has ended. Your wife is most definitely STILL going through the grieving process. She is exhibiting all the processes, and this is very healthy and be no means abnormal, just normal. Though she was the one who cheated she seems to still have a great love for you. She seems to be desperately seeking forgiveness from you and wants to make up for something she's taken from you, meaning your wedding night. How do you feel about that? She is in great sorrow. It is very good that you are not shutting her out since she's going through something difficult. Where do you think your future leads with her, will you WANT to eventually shut her out? It will much time for things to actually "fall into place", though I know that doesn't sound encouraging, there is still a long road ahead.

I am so glad I can aide you in anyway. :-)

[syrup]

I agree, it will be quite awhile though before I feel that way. She said she would make it up to me in October and then again in January after all that happened. She never did and never actually made an effort to do so until I left her and told her that I had feelings for another woman. It actually doesn't mean anything to me now, she does love me but I feel she is trying to use this as a fix for her rather than what it was meant to be. I now thank her for not living up to her promise so I can have that moment with a someone who I will actually spend my life with. And after all that she's done, and hasn't done, I just don't see a lasting friendship or anything similar. I will not just stop but I will do my best to gradually make it so we are no longer in contact. She will get over me and move on and I in a way already have from her.

[Gal4Love]

Life, marriage is never a certain thing and though you may have a wedding night with your "future" wife, that will never assure that is will be forever. I should have had my wedding night with my fiance but that was also taken away from me. I don't think one can ever really move on from a loved one. You two were a big part of eachother's lives, and in time you both will learn to cherish it. If you two are able to remain friends, I would grab on to that. My ex-fiance and I have become friends again and though he hurt me so much in the past and I thought I would never want him in my life, I am so happy he is still here. "Gradually make it so we no longer in contact"; don't try to "make" it stop, or do your best. Try to remember why she was so important to you in the beginning. I am sure she is still the woman you once loved, even though it's hard for you to see that right now. Don't loose something that was once so dear to you, especially if she is as willing. :-)

Of course, "being friends" doesn't mean the same thing with your ex as it does with everybody else. It almost never means that you'll somehow magically become the bestfreinds who can spend all day watching football, drinking beer and talking about your girlfriend/boyfriend, able to pinpint when and why exactly the other relationship ended. If you are lucky, and I am as lucky, you will be able to. Sometimes it will mean that you'll have a drink to two together whenever you happen to be in the same town. But sometimes it means you'll go see your favorite bands' shows together.

[syrup]

I replied to this already but it didn't show up. I understand, its just hard to think like that right now with the way she's acting. Hopefully I will be able to work through it. I just want to put in the paperwork soon so she can really understand that we are really done as "us". As such a big deal divorce is I find myself thinking about what is going to happen with my co-worker. Everyone believes she is interested, but I go through periods where I question myself. No real reason, I'm just the kind of person who doesn't have much confidence when it comes to women. She's just the only person and reason that has made me happy since January (remember I told her this and she seemed receptive). I just don't want to lose a chance with her and have to see her with another guy, I know I need to heal and take things slowly. I'm just so use to being able to come home and talk to someone everyday and now it's just me in an empty home. So much going on yet when I spend a few hours with her everything feels better. I want to tell her about my feelings just so I really know what she is feeling, so I can take it slow and know if things will progress, or if I now need to get over her as well as my failed marriage.