End of the road?

[StancedAcuraTSX]

I apologize in advance for the long first post, but this has been on my mind for awhile now, and I'm looking for some input.

So I've met this girl 2 years ago through my brother's work, and at the time I thought she was really cute, but I never really talked to her that much, only the courteous hello or goodbye. Earlier this year, she was selling girl scout cookies for her cousin, so I decided to buy some from her. Made some small talk, and left it at that. Fast forward to June of 2011. Noticed that she knew a mutual friend of mine through FB, and asked her how she knew him. She replied back, and I told her how it's been so long since I saw her and that it's been awhile since I had food at her restaurant. We then agreed that we should grab food at her restaurant one day, so I asked her for her number since I wasn't sure if she had the same number.

So after getting her number, we pretty much texted each other nonstop for about 2 weeks. We haven't ate at her restaurant yet, since she was pretty busy on the days I was free, and I was busy on the days she was free. When we finally figured out a day to meet up, 2 weeks later, we hit it off pretty well. She drove her car there, and I drove mine. At the time though, I only considered her a friend, and that I wouldn't mind getting with her at all. Good body language, always looking at me directly in the eyes, no awkward silence or anything like that. After dinner, I went to the restroom for a little bit, only to come back and find out that she paid for my dinner. Somehow something came up about how her laptop needed to be fixed, as she wanted to recover her photos from the laptop, but she didn't know where to start. So then, I offered to take a look at it, since it was an easy fix. We then decided to go get desert about 30 miles away from where we lived, but she was going to meet me at my house since she had to go home and grab a jacket as well as her laptop. I drove to the desert place, and in the car, we talked nonstop. Once again, good vibes, she was giving me compliments here and there, not moving her leg whenever I had to change gears and my how my hands always came in contact with them, etc. Ate desert, I paid for her this time, but the bill was nowhere near as much as dinner. Arrived back to my place, and started talking for a good hour outside my garage. After awhile, I realized that it was starting to get late, so we hugged and I let her go.

Texted her the next morning and remembered that she didn't bring me her laptop, so she said that she'll bring it to me the next time I'm free. We were busy the rest of the week, but we still managed to text each other every day until the next time we hung out, which was the following week at her place. When I went to her place at 10pm, met her mom, and went upstairs to check out the laptop and later realized that I needed to bring it home in order to fix it, so she let me take it home. I pretty much stayed over at her house until 2am, since we ended up watching a movie in her room. Towards the end of the movie, though, my right contact lens was irritating my eye, so I had to throw it away. She told me that she wouldn't let me drive home like that, and that I should spend the night over, but I declined. She then says that the next time that happens, she wouldn't let me leave her house until morning.

So I went to a store the next day to buy a tool I needed to recover her hard drive data, which ended up being $10. Fixed it and told her, but we didn't meet up again until the following week due to conflicting schedules. We still texted each other every day. Went to her house, dropped off her hard drive, and stayed another few hours there, since she was busy playing games on my phone while I was watching TV. Hungout a few more times, pretty much once a week, and it was always just us two, nobody else. We went wine tasting, etc.

On the weekend of my birthday, I invited her to my dinner, and she said she would try her best to make it, as she has to run that day. She ended up telling me the following morning that she wouldn't be able to make it out, so I took it personally, and indirectly called her a liar, since it was my birthday and all. Turns out, the reason why she didn't go was because she had family come in from out of country, and she was going to the airport to pick them up. I felt really horrible for my actions, and apologized to her, in which she forgave me for. She made it up to me the next day, however, by taking me to dinner and paying for it. While we were eating dinner, she told me that her sister needed a photographer for her baby shower, and she was wondering if I was up for it. I accepted, and told her that I was doing it as a favor for her, and i'm not going to charge her or anything.

The following week I didn't text her since she said she was going to be really busy planning and setting up her sisters baby shower, so I gave her some space. I told her that I wasn't going to bug her until the baby shower, and that whenever she gets the chance, to message me her sister's address. She texted me a couple times telling me random things, but I didn't reply to them, since I didn't want to bug her. She then calls me a couple of days later and talked to me about random things, and her sister's baby shower. I didn't talk/text her until the day of the baby shower. The baby shower went by smoothly, even though she took most of the pictures with my camera, while I was busy talking to her best friends and participating in the events. Towards the end of the Baby shower, while we were eating dinner, one of her best friends asked me, "Hey, you do, right?" So, I replied, "You, do, right what?" and she said, "Just say yes, I know you do," so I said, "yes." When her friends left, I told her that I was going to leave. She told me to wait up a second, and that she was going to walk me out. We then waited outside of my car and talked for a good 30-45 minutes outside. She told me that she wanted to hangout Tuesday or Thursday (It was sunday at the time), but she might be hanging out with family that day, and she would let me know.

Tuesday rolls by, and she didn't tell me whether or not she was free, so I asked her. She tells me that she was hanging out with family that day, so I asked her if she's free on Thursday, in which she never replied to. I texted her the following morning, telling her that the pictures from her sisters baby shower was finished. She thanks me and asks what my schedule was so she can pickup the DVD. I tell her and she didn't make it out to either days, since she was busy. A week or so later, she finally picks up the pictures, 30 minutes before I had to leave to go to school. We talked and she told me that she was busy the rest of the week, and that she'll let me know her schedule next week. Next week rolls by, and she didn't tell me her schedule, so I asked her if she was free. She tells me that she hadn't checked her schedule and if anything, she would be free Tuesday or Thursday. Tuesday rolls by, and same thing, she didn't tell me the day before if she was free or not, so I asked her again. She apologized for not telling me the night before since she had to babysit the kids, and that she was going to drop them off after work on Tuesday. I told her it was cool and asked if she was free Thursday, and once again, didn't reply. Played it off on Thursday morning by saying, "on second though...scratch today, I'm busy." She apologizes yet again, saying that she's been busy and distracted lately, and that she would let me know when everything settles down a bit. Her texts are much shorter than what they used to be. Being the understanding person I am, I told her that it seems like she has alot going on lately, and I didn't want to be a burden or anything to her, but if she needed someone to talk to, I would always be there. She didn't reply to that, or texted me at all for over a week.

So one day, not knowing she was there, my brother invited me to hangout with him and his co-workers. I went inside with my friend, and noticed that she was waving at me and saying hi. I completely ignored her and blew her off. I knew she was there, and I'm pretty sure she know I was there too, since I was talking to her co-workers who sat one person over from her. Later that night, when I was heading to the bathroom, her and her friend were coming out of the women's bathroom, and I completely ignored her yet again, and headed straight to the men's bathroom.

She texted me the following morning, saying that she was waving at me last night, and I didn't seem to notice her. She then says that she had a few drinks so she might have been 'trippin.' That and her and I were both doing our own thing anyways. She then tells me her sister had her baby the night before, and that she was going to go to the hospital and that she was going to 'ttyl!'

I texted back, 6 hours later, acting like I deleted her number, she then tells me who she was, and I went along with not knowing who she was. I then act stupid like I really didn't see her, asking what she was wearing. She replies by saying that she was probably too drunk to remember anything that night, and that I was probably too busy to notice her.

A few days later, I stopped by the restaurant with my friend after working out at the gym, since my brother was getting off work, and they're right next door to each other. She was there, so I said hi to her and walked off to say hi to everyone else. We didn't talk much at all. One of her co-workers invited us to go to another restaurant to grab drinks and eat, so my friend and I decided to go. She decided to go too, but my friend and I didn't know that until we arrived. At the restaurant, she didn't talk to me as much, yet again. She treated everyone just fine, except for me.

Next day, I texted her asking if she was free this week, as I wanted to talk to her in person, but I didn't put that on the text. Just simply asked if she was free this week. She didn't reply until 12 hours later, saying that she was surprised I saved her number, and that she was going to be busy the remainder of this week. She then says that we should meet up next week because there's some stuff she needs to talk to me about.

After hanging out with her for about a month, I really wanted to tell her how I felt the day of her sister's baby shower, but I chose to wait it out until the next time I hung out with her. The day she picked up her sister's DVD, I wanted to tell her as well, but chose to wait when she said that she might be free next week to hang out. Am I wrong for waiting too long, or was she leading me on from the get go? Should I be worried about talking to her next week? Usually those "we need to talk" things never come out good, and I'm afraid that she's not going to feel the same way, but after everything that's happened this last month, I feel that I have hit a dead end.

[ecojeanne]

oh my good lord!

i didn't read this, can you please shorten this into a quick summary and then we can ask questions if needs be? seriously nobody is gonna read this

[adamh1]

errgg, I read it. I have to say if nothing else that could be used for an insomnia cure!

Perhaps you did wait too long - Perhaps not..... You are never going to know until you lay it out on the table with her and she does the same.
It obviously seems like the pair of you are busy, perhaps a relationship is not the best thing at the moment?

Or perhaps you will make a lot of time for each other. The point is, be honest and see what happens.

Also, don't play games... They are for children! By that I mean, "I texted back six hours later", "I pretended I didn't know who she was" bla bla bla..... It doesn't get you anywhere in life, trust me.

[Horseyguy]

Sorry OP but you are a total dickhead. What do you really expect. She gave you all the signs that she was really in to you, hanging with you for hours on end talking outside your garage with you for 45 mins, telling you to stay with her overnight because you lost your contact lens and you did nothing.

Not once did you cease the moment. When you were in her room together watching a movie you should have been all over her. She wants a man not a boy. Someone that will take the lead. She made it clear she fancied you with the way she was hanging out with you and her body language and you whimped out.

My take on it is she finally just gave up on you and the best you could do to try and retrieve the situation is start playing childish games. Ignoring her at the restaurant and pretending you had deleted her number.

You basically told her you were not interested in her and now you don't understand why this is happening and you think she led you on???? You are a moron.

Seriously grow up, grow some balls and do the girl a favour and leave her alone, she deserves to be treated better than that.


edited to add. And whatever it is you think you feel for this girl your actions are not saying I really like you and want to be with you. Your actions are saying I'm an arsehole and you should run away.

And you are right to worry about what she wants to talk about because she's making excuses not to see you because you are treating her like an idiot so yeah she's probably going to tell you it / you are just too hard. No doubt give you the lets stay friends / I'm too busy at the moment for a relationship line so unless you want to be having that talk I'd be changing your attitude and start treating her like you really want to be with her. Show her some passion, don;t just hang out with her woo her, seduce her and get her wanting more. From what you have written, more isn't on her agenda

[ecojeanne]

^^c'mon he probably is a kid

[Horseyguy]

oh my good lord!

i didn't read this, can you please shorten this into a quick summary and then we can ask questions if needs be? seriously nobody is gonna read this

I think this girl is hot and she thought I was too but I've dicked her around for a month, then ignorred her and then pretended I deleted her number

I didn't have the balls to tell her I really like her and now after I have been acting like a total whimp with her for a month I think I should tell her how I feel but I think she is going to dump me

Woe is me!


I think that covers it

[Horseyguy]

^^c'mon he probably is a kid

Oh please

If he has a car, is working and can stay out all night he can't be that young that he can't kiss a girl and tell her that he likes her ... seriously

[StancedAcuraTSX]

errgg, I read it. I have to say if nothing else that could be used for an insomnia cure!

Perhaps you did wait too long - Perhaps not..... You are never going to know until you lay it out on the table with her and she does the same.
It obviously seems like the pair of you are busy, perhaps a relationship is not the best thing at the moment?

Or perhaps you will make a lot of time for each other. The point is, be honest and see what happens.

Also, don't play games... They are for children! By that I mean, "I texted back six hours later", "I pretended I didn't know who she was" bla bla bla..... It doesn't get you anywhere in life, trust me.

Thanks for the reply, adamh1. Trust me, I really wanted to tell her how I felt, I just didn't know how to put it. I forgot to mention that she thinks of herself as a 'social butterfly,' but not to the point where she's a slut or a whore. She doesn't immediately reply to my texts either, it always takes her a few hours before she's able to get to it. I just don't want to come off as 'clingy' always replying to her texts immediately.

[StancedAcuraTSX]

Sorry OP but you are a total dickhead. What do you really expect. She gave you all the signs that she was really in to you, hanging with you for hours on end talking outside your garage with you for 45 mins, telling you to stay with her overnight because you lost your contact lens and you did nothing.

Not once did you cease the moment. When you were in her room together watching a movie you should have been all over her. She wants a man not a boy. Someone that will take the lead. She made it clear she fancied you with the way she was hanging out with you and her body language and you whimped out.

My take on it is she finally just gave up on you and the best you could do to try and retrieve the situation is start playing childish games. Ignoring her at the restaurant and pretending you had deleted her number.

You basically told her you were not interested in her and now you don't understand why this is happening and you think she led you on???? You are a moron.

Seriously grow up, grow some balls and do the girl a favour and leave her alone, she deserves to be treated better than that.


edited to add. And whatever it is you think you feel for this girl your actions are not saying I really like you and want to be with you. Your actions are saying I'm an arsehole and you should run away.

And you are right to worry about what she wants to talk about because she's making excuses not to see you because you are treating her like an idiot so yeah she's probably going to tell you it / you are just too hard. No doubt give you the lets stay friends / I'm too busy at the moment for a relationship line so unless you want to be having that talk I'd be changing your attitude and start treating her like you really want to be with her. Show her some passion, don;t just hang out with her woo her, seduce her and get her wanting more. From what you have written, more isn't on her agenda

Her co-workers asked her the day after we first hungout if we were dating, and she replied that we were just friends, and "can't friends just hangout alone together?" Maybe she was into me, maybe she wasn't. She does talk to alot of guys, but I know she doesn't sleep around. After her sister's baby shower she started becoming busy, and I don't recall doing anything wrong prior to that. The reason why I didn't want to rush through it is because I really like her, and I felt that she was worth waiting for, I just wanted to wait till the moment was right, but I guess I didn't seize the moment like you said. I'm not an asshole if she never tells me when she's free unless I ask her, all to no avail. I understand if she's busy, and I'm a really patient and understanding person, but there was a good reason behind why I ignored her when I randomly saw her that night. Clearly it got to her if she texted me the next day, rationalizing as to why I did what I did. It was never my intention to hurt her, I would never do anything to break her heart, believe me.

[ecojeanne]

I think this girl is hot and she thought I was too but I've dicked her around for a month, then ignorred her and then pretended I deleted her number

I didn't have the balls to tell her I really like her and now after I have been acting like a total whimp with her for a month I think I should tell her how I feel but I think she is going to dump me

Woe is me!


I think that covers it

haha ok, thanks.

well i still think you should tell her how you feel, embarrassing actions i must say. oh well life is all about experiences, Good luck

what age are you btw? just to clarify where you're at