My Best Friend Kissed Me

[nasf62]

So this is a pretty long story, sorry about the read. To start off, my best friend and I have a past, we slept together once but then kind of went on pretending it never happened and stayed best friends. I didn't have a problem with it at the time.
Now the situation has changed. My best friend is pregnant and the father ran off and won't talk to her. Now because I'm her best friend I am doing my best to pick up the responsibility he left behind (I've gotten the baby a doctor, found a lawyer for her, found her counselling, and drive her to every appointment, I was even the only person with her when she found out she was pregnant). She's even gone as far as to give my name as the middle name for the baby if it's a boy AND name me one of the child's guardians/adoptive parents should anything happen to her.
So a few nights ago we were cuddling and we were very close face to face. I wanted to kiss her but I was scared. I leaned in close and brushed my lips against hers and then she kind of leaned in a bit and we kissed. We kissed a few more times that night and then went to sleep. When we woke up she acted again like it had never happened.
I have to admit, I'm having trouble figuring out whether I have fallen for her, or if I am just getting attached to her unborn child. I don't feel too upset because I know we are mature enough not to let this kill our friendship but for some reason I can't stop thinking about it...
What do I do? What do you think she thinks about all this?

I talked to her best girlfriend and she speculated this: " she would date you... it's not that you arent right for her, it just can't mean anything because she needs you as a friend right now"

my best friend is also very interested in this guy she met recently and I know she wants to date him to, yet in the middle of all that happening, she kissed me? What is she thinking? What do I do?

[MerryH]

"she needs you as a friend right now"

If that came from her best friend, then she's probably just repeating what your girl told her.

yet in the middle of all that happening, she kissed me? What is she thinking? What do I do?

You two had a moment. You kissed. I would think that's all it was, especially if she's still pursuing another guy (while she's pregnant? ergh.)

And you've been doing daddy-type things. I think it would be natural to start feeling emotionally connected. While it's noble of you to "pick up the responsibility he left behind," I think it crosses boundaries that friends shouldn't cross. She's going to be a single mom soon and she needs to learn how to do things on her own and not to rely on you or anyone else. Your help might not really be helpful, in the long run. Be a supportive friend, don't actively do things for her that she should be doing herself.

[nasf62]

Thanks for the advice! I wasn't sure if I was crossing boundaries, but I figured at the time it couldn't hurt to help, especially because she was completely lost and didn't know where to start (she's only 17).

[Bo]

So she is pregnant with another guy's baby, she's kissing you when you guys are together, yet she likes another dude? And she's only 17, Come the FCUK on. I won't even say it...

[Wakeup]

So she is pregnant another guy's baby, she's kissing you when you guys are together, yet she likes another dude? And she's only 17, Come the FCUK on. I won't even say it...

^^^ Quoted for emphasis.

DO NOT let her put your name on the birth certificate so you end up finanacially responsible for this baby while she continues to be promiscuous and run after other men. You're being very honourable but come on... don't be being some white knight that gets walked all over, marries her and finds out that she won't leave you because you enable her to be a problem child while she chronically seeks the attention of other men. Good thing you're taking her to counceling because she definately could benefit from it.

*

Thanks for the advice! I wasn't sure if I was crossing boundaries, but I figured at the time it couldn't hurt to help, especially because she was completely lost and didn't know where to start (she's only 17).

Darl'n.. where are her parents and why are'nt they helping her?

[Bo]

^^^ Quoted for emphasis.

DO NOT let her put your name on the birth certificate so you end up finanacially responsible for this baby while she continues to be promiscuous and run after other men. You're being very honourable but come on... don't be being some white knight that gets walked all over, marries her and finds out that she won't leave you because you enable her to be a problem child while she chronically seeks the attention of other men. Good thing you're taking her to counceling because she definately could benefit from it.

* Darl'n.. where are her parents and why are'nt they helping her?

Thank you, my response would have consisted of a slew of profanities. I just couldn't do it...

[sadie_genie]

Consider what you have done as being a good friend. But don't think all of a sudden, she will make you the father. She still has lots of unfinished business with the ex and also entanglements with a new guy. The kiss can mean that she might potentially consider you a father in the future OR it can mean its a bait so she can continue relying on you. So, be careful.

[Wakeup]

Or it could just mean that she's totally fvcked up, her hormones are totally out of whack because of her pregnancy or, she's sexually and emotionally immature. OP: You can't fix her so don't even try and for gawds sake, don't think you can live a happily ever after with her.

Stop enabling her and let her learn to live in the bed she's just made.

[Bo]

She sounds completely trashy to me, she needs to worry about keeping her legs closed and her mental stability. That child does not need strange men in and out of it's life.

[smackie9]

Things never happened before, and things are not going to happen now....shes just getting good use out of your kindness.

[qtpie568]

First off I commend you for stepping up not only for her, but also for her unborn child.
Secondly, you are putting yourself into a bad situation for yourself by becoming attatched to this child.
Set boundaries, and sit down and talk to her and ask her flat out what she wants.

[nasf62]

Wow everyone! Lot's of great amazing advice! To be honest I guess I really always look for the best in people (it's just who I am) so it was probably good to hear some brutally honest advice. Thanks everyone, I like the idea of sitting down with her and setting some boundaries.
Her dad is helping her but he's out of the country a lot, and her mom doesn't even know because her mom will never really be able to afford it.
I won't let her put my name down on the certificate, it's not my right or my full on responsibility.
I'm not really looking for a happily ever after with her, the kiss just threw me off and made me confused about what my role was.

In the end I guess I just want to help because she still is my friend and I want her and her baby to have a good start in life together, I just got a little too caught up in the emotional side of things I guess (lots going on back home, getting kicked out and stuff, kind of latched onto my best friend a little).

Anyways, keep that brutally hard advice coming this way! I find it helps a lot more than "Oh sweetie, everything will be fine".

Thanks so much everyone!