Getting to know women you barely know (building rapport)

[richardwordoff]

surfhb: a classful of beautiful women? Um, I don't know where you've been to school but there are maybe 3 or 4 in a whole class, and that is assuming you have general education stuff, not courses in majors typically dominated by guys. I went to a community college for the first two years of college and I think I saw maybe two attractive girls in a class in two years.

Do you not read? You can't really talk during a course unless the person is right next to you and even then some professors bitch about it.

I have in fact talked to girls in my classes before. I had two classes I just finished a couple weeks ago and there was a girl in each class I went after. I sat next to the first one and we talked about every day. At the end of the course I asked her out and she never called me. The other one (different class) I went up to one day during a break and talked to her. Then after that I ended up walking with her three or four times to the student parking lot (about ~10 minute walk) and we talked every time. I knew how to do an assignment that was due for the class the next day and she got my number and texted me to come by the library and help her with it. I don't know if it means anything, but she was way more dressed up at the library than she was in class a few hours earlier. The baseball cap was gone and it looked like she had put makeup on and everything. Anyway, I did that, she thanked me a lot and a little while later I asked her out. She said "yeah, let's do that sometime" and then quit answering me when I tried to contact her further.

I made small talk with a couple other girls a few times but they did nothing but about test scores and such, and you could clearly tell they had no emotion of any kind behind anything they said (talking to keep from being obviously rude). One of them wasn't even that attractive and the other sat with these two guys all the time so I assumed she was probably off limits anyway. Nevertheless I talked to them anyway and it was a waste of time.

Wakeup: fair enough, I get it. God forbid anyone clarify anything. It is damn obvious I am completely clueless. I didn't mean to come off as saying everyone's ideas were stupid.

[MaidenMinx]

Richard, please leave this thread alone. You are not getting what you need from it. It is working you up, and that is not helpful to anyone, especially not you.
You know I understand what you are looking for, but this thread isn't giving it to you, is it?

Definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Please stop making yourself look insane.

[surfhb]

surfhb: a classful of beautiful women? Um, I don't know where you've been to school but there are maybe 3 or 4 in a whole class, and that is assuming you have general education stuff, not courses in majors typically dominated by guys. I went to a community college for the first two years of college and I think I saw maybe two attractive girls in a class in two years.

3 or 4 girls per class? Most colleges have more women than men so Im surprised. Regardless...you still have 3 or 4 girls to study with. My college had tons of hot women.....sucks for you i guess.

Do you not read? You can't really talk during a course unless the person is right next to you and even then some professors bitch about it.

No Numbnuts! Not during a lecture....after class...before class. You have zero imagination and absolutely no critical thinking skills what so ever.

Bottom line is: You freak women out man. You ramble on on about the same shit and dont listen. Thread Closed! I hope

[richardwordoff]

I said 3 or 4 attractive girls per class. It doesn't matter if there are 10 others if they are not attractive.

I just gave you multiple examples of women I talked to from my last two classes. Read.

I am just rambling on and on. This thread needs to die. /thread

[AsianBeauties]

Hello.
This is a common problem and one that we've found, men regularly worry over.
Our suggestion is this - The suggestion an earlier poster made here about the 'friend' approach was right, begin in this way and she won't see you as just another guy that is trying to hit on her. Using your coffee shop example, your face will probably be familiar to her so ask questions about how her day is going, and show genuine interest, but don't expect/hand around for her to do the same to you. She'll remember you because realistically how many people are nice to those in the service industry? Build on this each visit, share a joke about something and she'll begin to recognise you as someone who she can chat freely to. At times, throw in a line about what you've been up to, and the conversation will naturally develop and grow. You have nothing to lose and you won't know until you try!

[richardwordoff]

AsianBeauties: wow, that sounds like great advice. You said someone else mentioned it earlier but I guess I may have glossed over it. I have one question regarding your advice though: what if you end up being a regular and they're friendly when do you ask them out? I think I said this earlier in the post but I ended up talking to this cashier quite a few times and when I finally was going to suggest something she had quit the job :-/ . Granted this may not be as common as I think now but since that happened I'm paranoid. Maybe I should be asking not how to ask them out but how to stay in contact with then even if they do quit or something (without sending a clear signal of trying to exchange phone numbers).

Also, since you're trying to be a friend first and hope something develops, would it be a better idea to drop hints about doing things together instead of directly asking them out? I mean, generally people want others to be direct in asking them but maybe something like somehow working in what you're doing soon, ex: "Oh, blah blah, I'm going to such and such concert. Do you like whatever_music_artist?" but NOT ask them out? (just seeing what their reaction is I guess). Or would doing this and waiting too long make you look like you aren't confident and won't make a move?

[HeartIsAching]

OMG, that's horrible advice. If you want to wind up being her male girlfriend, go for it.

[surfhb]

Im going to keep this thread going to see how long Richard can go over and over the same scenario and never actually act on it! At this point he has to be a troll since no one can be this dense and inept......we'll see.

[maxmax]

This thread is too long now for me to read and try and understand what is happening ...

[rafterman]

Richard thinks approaching Women is like climbing Mt Everest...Thats a brief summary

[Wakeup]

There's a George Carlin joke about this, I think. Anyway, if you can type and post to this site its unlikely you are a retard.

Well, 1 outta two is average, right? *shudders*

[richardwordoff]

No, no, rafterman, not approaching or even talking to them; getting a date is like climbing Everest.

maxmax: I was asking how you go from approaching and talking to women (mostly when you meet a girl in a public place like a restaurant; sometimes only seeing them once and that being your only opportunity) to getting them to go out with you. I can approach and talk all day but can't ever get someone to agree to do anything with me.

[surfhb]

No, no, rafterman, not approaching or even talking to them; getting a date is like climbing Everest.

maxmax: I was asking how you go from approaching and talking to women (mostly when you meet a girl in a public place like a restaurant; sometimes only seeing them once and that being your only opportunity) to getting them to go out with you. I can approach and talk all day but can't ever get someone to agree to do anything with me.

I think you answered your own question

[rafterman]

So Richard has there been any progress In your quest for women? I mean its not de-coding the Enigma

[richardwordoff]

rafterman: actually, no. This attempt here: [URL="http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/57864-how-do-you-think-i-should-ask-hostess-out.html"]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/57864-how-do-you-think-i-should-ask-hostess-out.html[/URL] was unsuccessful. The only possibility left is she lost the note I gave her. She wasn't working yesterday when I ate there so I don't know for sure, but I'd say the odds of winning the lottery are similar to the chance this was the case.

I suppose you're right, there isn't any mystery about it. I think it is rather obvious now that I keep asking out women who are not attracted to me.