I wonder hmmm. thanks for reading!

[Yeu]

I am sorrrry my grammer and spelling is horrible but please bear with me




Romance of the lonely
For thos who has taken there time to read my story i am very grateful that you have, this story will tell you what i feel. once again I am very honored that you are reading this.


It all started out in middle school, being an forgeiener it was hard to adapt into thhe modren american society so it was rough, I remember i had friends that i grew up with , they made things alot better after i have spoken with them about my problems. but my love life was lonely. It was a young age to feel like this buti felt anger, sadness and sorry because i could never find a girl that would accept me for who i was.
Days go on by my depression got worse and worser to the point i started to drink booze. I remeber i drink my first fourty oz of budewieser and instanly i was drunk and felt amazing. so in the next few years i started to drink more and more, turning into acholoism. no matter how hard i try i could not find the one thing could give me happyness. So i started smoking weed. My god i loved it, go to school night party all high and drunk and no one would even know athing. haha maybe it cause my asianness eyes.
A few year later has pass it was near middle school graduation, there i found my first love that i thought was love. She was short just like me blond hair, big breasts nice curvy butt. We hooked up at the end of 8th grade and there ihad my first interaction with sexualy love, my god did i love it. feeling that warm slippry hole filled with happyness. As i started to make out with her kissing her breast sucking, and finnaly figering her pussy. I felt lke a god and my heart was finnaly statifide with the incredible feelings. my first real orgasim. We conintue our relationship during the summer but after event that happened, we found that we wrent ment for each other so we broke up.
Weeks after weeks i felt so sad like a part of me died when that realtionship had ended. SO i was back to step one. I filled the rest of the summer with booze and weed to mask what i was feeling.
HIgh school has started by now, was a freshman in highschool wow is all i could say, so many new peoples i though to myself wow maybe i will have better luck here, but as the days of anexious days of hopeing to find the right one it never came. luckly at the time yahoo chat was blooming like how facebook is now. there i found a friend. we started to chat everyday after school, i soon forgot even to look for a my specail one, months and months ahs gone by our friendship grew so much, we were able to talk to each other anything. WHen i mean everything i ment it, we talked about our sex life, our past, and our deppest secert. we would give each other adivice on relationship. while this was happening i was still in high school i was still a freshman.
Summer came by I took a trip to my home country and we could not talk as much as iwanted to then i started to realize this girl i could not get out of my head. i was thinking what is happening to me. so i went to a internet cafe and talked to her like i needed an hit of love. with her it was so addicting. instead of focusing on my trip i talked to her most of the trip and was my family mad about it lol.
two weeks has past by and i went home back to the states. we started to get more comfterable with each other so we started to talk on the phone. my first reaction was amazing, her voice was like a siren goddess talki8ng to me, i could feel the nervous between us. it was great. we would talk from afer school till we pass out 2 in the morning. my grade started to go bad from lack of focus.
Iwe then realize that we both have become very best friends even tho we ahve never met once but i knew there she was my soul mates. we would get so jealous and mad at each other when ever we had hook up with another person but yet we still talked about it. weird huh.
after two years of this ahppening i finnaly decide to take a trip to where she lived. I took a greyhound 24 hr drivie to her. the whole trip there i could not get any sleep due to this huge aneixty of actualy meeting her. my mind was racing my heart was bumping harder and ahrder as closer i got to her. 24 hrs has pass, my bus has arivved at it final destiontion. there i could almsot have a panic attack but when i got off the buss and search for her. i found her instanly like everyone wasnt there it was just me and her witha spot light over her. man did it feel like th movies. we both started to walk faster we could feel our heart beat in sync. The first moment i was face to face with her i got so nervous that i accidently step on her foot and we both laugh at it finding it funny.then i huged her and that moment i felt all my sad, sorry anger, pain instanly vanish with joy, happniess, hornyess, and feeling that i have never felt in my life. I ****ing lvoed it. so after a wuick meet up and chating we finnaly got into the car and we started to get so close even tho we werent even going out just best friends that was so ar from each other. there in the car ride we sat next to each other in the back seat of the ram truck. me holding her in my arms and just fade away into the night. I could tel during the whole ride to her house her dad hated me.
I finnaly knew what it was like to have a dad hated you, i allways asked myself why does that happens? it'll never happen to me and there it did.. We got to the house around midnight, it was a long ride from the station to her house. oh did i mention this was around chirstmas. so as soon as i got in her house i felt this amzing atosphere , chirstmas tree, oragamnets, lights , the smell of fresh popury and candles. I felt amazing being here.

Later into the night we got hungry so we went out to eat at burger kings. i could barely eat tho casue i kept looking at her with the most amzing feelig ever. we ate our meal and drove home. I started to unpack my clothes and got ready for bed. it was 3 am by now we were both tired so we ended up passing out next to each other on the couch while i am holding her in my arms.
I woke up in the morning and it was 7 am, everyone was up allready and i was barely awake. i could not belive how early they got. It has never happen at my house. everyone was allways busy at different time. but at her house i felt like at home. i knew this was the girl and family.
when i woke up i took a shower and we had homemade breakfast because her grandma loved to cook and she made sure i felt at home with her humble hopsitality. she really did a great jo. i felt the love she was spreading. around noon i totaly forgot that i had to buy present for the family. so we went out to a big mall and did some last minuted shopping. that made me go a lil broke lol. I got each member a little gift. After the shopping we were alone with each other because her parents were at work and her gma was sleeping. there we got even more closer. we talked more and more about the most randomest things ever like grade schools, to trucks, to beaches to whatever was on our minds.
a few hours later has pass, we got a lil bored so we went out to the movies, at the movies we both. were sititing in the far back of the teahter and we could barely even pay attaention to the movie cause we kept fooling around haha. my first movie theater sexualy experiance, she gave me teh best blow job i ever had. hahaha my god was this chirstmas break the best.
whenthe movie finished we went to eat at achinese buffet. foodwasnt so good there tho so we quickly eat and left. but while we were in the car we decided to sit in the back and make out cause we knew we couldnt be doing that at home espically the first time meeting her parents. We made out hardcore when i say ahrcore i ment the whole glass was all fog up,just us two sitting in the back seat of the packrlot making out my god was it funny. things got more intamte we started to take off our clothes and and i started to finger her, i felt her so damn wet like a waterfall of goodness, then we started to have sex, i putted my dick inside of her and made a few strokes in and out, then we heard people saying stuff about us so we left haha. it was a a quicky but it felt so amazing, being in plubic and just having a wild time. we couldnt belive we actualy ****ed in her car.. felt like the 70's show when they ever had sex in back of the car hahah it felt like teh moives once again. we got home around 1 am and we were both so exhausted from the day activity so we went into the jacuzzi and relaxed and had a couple beers. didnt know you could get so much drunker in the hot tub. we got out and we both passout on the couch again next to each other with our hands holding each other..
The morning was chirstmas eve and we woke up even earlier this morning at 6 am and started to help around the house because we were gonna have a chirstmas party!. after helping the tables cleaning up here and there vacuming the house and cleaning teh old dishes. i felt like at home. and i wasnt even home sick one bit. after we finihed helping out we went to a gorecry store and brought some last minute items...food,...ect

We decide to go over her friend house and stop by there for a couple hours, and we got pretty drunk there haha, and next thing you knew she and i was in the abthroom having full sex for hours. was the best bliss moment drunken sex. we cam and cam so many time but still lept gonig like a stalion on a mission. soon after our wild drunk sex we sober up and i drove us home. and we passout on the couch again haha.
We woke up at 5 30 this time and when i woke up everyone was wide awak and drinking eggnog and they got mad at me casue i overslept lol overslept at 5 30am ???lol we started to open presents and just had a blast talking and opening our christmas presents. and then when we all open it and clean up the mess eeveryone went back to sleep haha. a few hours has pass trhen we woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs and my god was i in heaven. so much bacon on the table, like around 5-8 pounds lol i was a happy camper. After breakfast everyone was cooking or preparing teh chirstmas party feast. i could still remmeber what we had, a bunch of filipino food and alot of american foods, We had steaks, mash poatoes, lumpia, eggrolls, pho,ribs, burgers, pasta, antipasta, saldas, what ever you could imagine we had it and we had a double keg! wow was i happy that day.
it was 6 pm now and it was party time we all had a blast and got so full to the point where i just passout on the chair haha. was life good. i could live like this everyday.
and the next few days we just spent time doing fun things and watch a bunch of movies. then new years was a blast too even more wild at midinight at the count down we made love again mkaing it he frist sex of the year. then that made i ask her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. lol i wonder if i even had to ask. but i did so we had an aniversiay date time.
after a staying there for 2 weeks it was time to go home back to where i lived, We felt so sad that we had to go back to the old days only to talk on the phone and webcam. we could feel emotional feeling of pain, as i saw her cryingbut i hug her and kiss her and made sure that she would feel better and promise her that i would be back for her. Our realtionship was like this for the end of of high school, we could visit each other 6-9 time a year taking turns.
As soon as we both turn 18 and gruduated we decuide to move in with each other. I moved to her house first for a two month time span and we both felt like it wasnt going well because of her dad reaction about us living together such a young age,. so we decide to move back to my house where we would stay for two years.

But during those two years where we spent so much time with each other we would aruge so mcuh but made up. you know the ordinary realtionship. but back at her family thing got bad because her dad kept talling her to break up with me. and we would allways aruge about it. Next thing you knew all of our feelings got shatter as we couldnt take it anymore and we ended the realtionship. she started to pack all of her things, and while she was packing i fell back to square one. back into the lonely life, just so depressed as my love of my life is going back and our lives would change. we fedex her stuff and i drove her to the airport and there i gave her my last hug and kiss and she was gone after that. We shtill remain friends after wards but as days gone by we driffted aparted so much, we both started to see other people. but whenever i would have sex with another girl it never felt right, like i was happy. like the one night stands was to maks the urge i needed for a sex life.
Years later pass bywe barely talk anymore but we talk once in a blue moon to see what was up with each other. she got a boyfrined now and i am still doing the single life. to this day i still have such big feelings for her, a part of me could not let go. SO i drown in my sorrows and was depressed ever since. I often wonder what it would been like if her dad never got invole so much to the point she had an ultimatium god i haded her dad for that. Wonder what would be be doing now? prolly live in apartment or move to hawaii like we wanted to. away from everyone and started a new life. But none of that happen we moved on , but i still feel that little bit of her stuck in my heart.
I wonder if i'll ever move on and find a next girl to be with that could make me as happy or even more. As the night goes on the more booze i drink and days just got dull. months alter pass..

It was a quiet sunny afternoon with chilly wind breezing trough the sunny sky. just glazing over and wondering what is life? why am I here? why must everything be so quiet. sitting there underneath the cherry blossom tree thinking, my mind kept remincing the nogliastic days. Oh how I miss the joy of life, being with someone who you love with every last ounce of your heart. The smile that just smimply made your day, the voice of a siren that just put you into peace, just being with her was complete. a young beautiful brunette oh how i miss her.

I wonder if i'll find my soulmate soon...

[Hth]

Omg! Sorry but too long to read!!!

[Horseyguy]

I am sorrrry my grammer and spelling is horrible but please bear with me

That actually made me laugh ... thanks

[DarkHelmet82]

dude i can't read all of this.. but reading the last sentence.. you will find them eventually

[tomtom8p]

Wow I can't believe that I actually read that whole thing. You could have cut so much of that. and for the amount that you wrote there was surprisingly little detail about your relationship. like your ages, how long you were together, how old you are now, how you 2 got along etc...

You need to move on. the longer you think this girl is the be all and end all the more of a reality it will become.

[Yeu]

haha your welcome English is my fourth language so, i get confuse alot of the time due to it. But I am learning more!

When we first met we were 13, and we are both 22 now so it has been a long time I would say.
We were fiends 13-14, 14-16 bestfriends 17-19 was the relationship on and off and now we are 22.
I'm still depressed about it but at the same time i know i should be moving to bigger fishes. maybe that one got too stinky now?
Well we are still in good standing terms, We talk once ever 4 months usualy to check up on each other.

See I want to move on but I dont know why i still have a guilt about it.

Example...[ Say I met a girl over a buddy house, I could reach to the point where i can have sex with her but after sex i feel aweful.]

It been killing me for years because it has stop me from forming a full relationship, all i ever get is one night stand or fwb. and it getting boring because I would love to start waking up to the same girl in bed and knowing that I have a partner by my side.

Any other question?

P.S lol yeah sorry when i type the pages, i forgot to auto check haha oppsie. English is a tough language!

Yeu

[HeartIsAching]

Um... yes. You will find one eventually. Hopefully you've laid off the booze and whacky-tobaccy.

[Yeu]

actualy lately I havent been drinking as much, and damn the smokes are hard to quit!

[maxmax]

That actually made me laugh ... thanks

Why did that make you laugh?

Unless it was something else that amused you: 'bear with me' is correct. It has nothing to do with bears ...

'Bare with me' would mean to ask someone to get naked with you.

[Yeu]

That actually made me laugh ... thanks

Isnt it bear with me? bare with me would be naked with me?

[HeartIsAching]

Isnt it bear with me? bare with me would be naked with me?

It is. You're fine.

[ramramita]

hahaha,too long to read it dude.just read the topic and the last one