Married Woman might like me and I like her.....how to win her???

[pizza]

Hi. This may be a bit long. Please only mature opinions. I ask that the people wanting to say "OMG she's married, your evil" or "you're terrible" etc to please refrain from answering. I would REALLY love to hear from people who's been in similar situations (especially the women who may have passed through something like this), or anyone (mostly women though). I'd love to hear advice.

First, a little background. There's an older married woman (37 years old) who lives on my block and she's gorgeous. Her name is Andrea. I'm 24, and am 3 semesters from graduating and I already got a hookup for a great job. On my block, there's a committee that meets every 2 weeks that discuss and manage issues pertaining to the block (only for owners of the apts on the block). Andrea and my mother are on that committee.

Years ago, I was in the laundry room of our block. All the buildings share the same basement, so the entire block uses the same laundry room. As I was doing laundry, A beautiful woman walked in. It was Andrea. She didn't even recognize me (I was 20 at the time). Plus she seemed very happy and upbeat. A week later, I saw her husband parking the car in front of her building and when he got out, Andrea stuck her head out of the window and he blew a kiss to her. She melted as any woman in love would to her husband. That was then.......Now a few years after that.......things seems like it has changed.

About a year and a half ago, I was walking with my mother on the block and Andrea saw us. I didn't notice her at first since I was on my cell BUT Andrea saw me and quickly asked my mother "who's that??? Is that your boyfriend or something". My mom responded to her "No, that's my son". According to my mother, Andrea's face just lit up and she said "wow, he's handsome". Then a few weeks later after a committee meeting, Andrea happened to see pictures of me on my mother's laptop (via screensaver). She started asking my mother if that was me. My mother responded "yes". According to my mother, she lit up after she saw every picture. Andrea then said "wow he's hot. He must have a lot of girls after him." to which my mother replied "yea but he only likes older women" (which is true). All this time my mother did notice that Andrea had a big interest in me, but she didn't make much about it. Then finally my mother introduced me to Andrea. Needless to say I was IMPRESSED, and Andrea and I looked at each other in a strong way....communication without words so to speak. Needless to say, every time since then, we'd exchange looks without saying words on the block. Very strong. This has happened the last year and a half. But there's more.

Andrea has seemed to have a fascination with me (and me with her but I'm better at hiding it..no one knows). She passed the last year or so continuously, every opportunity she got, asking my mother about me. Andrea would ask her, with anticipation, "what does he do??" or "does he have a girlfriend???" etc. It drove my mother nuts. She'd tell me how Andrea kept asking about me, but I just played it cool. I don't want my mom to know that I feel something for this woman. Also, every time Andrea got near me, her face would light up. Once she saw me by surprise on the street and her eyes lit up in the most obvious way. Let's just say she'd be terrible at poker.

One night after a committee meeting, Andrea accompanied my mother to our apt. She didn't have to. When my mother opened the door, Andrea rushed in our apt, without my mother inviting her in, and she rushed right into the living room where the door to my room is located. My mom was shocked. When she was inside, she kept looking around towards the door to my room. She did it again the week after and it was so obvious that my mother had to direct her attention to the kitchen. I wasn't home at the time.

So one day, I got the guts to find her on facebook and she accepted the friend request, but I didn't dare try anything else at the time. Needless to say, Andrea noticed all the times I appeared online, because I'd only go online on the days I didn't have classes or work (which were Mondays and Thursdays). After one meeting, Andrea asked my mother "your son has off Mondays and Thursdays right??" My mom responded "yes". My mom got home and was shocked that Andrea knew when I was off. It was interesting because apart from my mother, NO ONE ELSE knew my schedule, not even my friends or father. Andrea knew......because it was obvious that she was paying attention to the times I appeared online on facebook. Also other people around the block realized that she lights up when she sees me. She has even lit up like this towards me when next to her husband on the street. (Yes that same husband who she was melting to years ago when she didn't even pay attention to me).

One day I saw her on the street walking towards her door carrying something. I saw her, said hello, and walked away. I didn't offer to help her carry what she was carrying towards her door. So I used that excuse to say hello to her on facebook chat and apologized for not offering her help. She laughed, told me it was ok, but had to sign off since she was at work. This was the first time I talked to her past "hello". It took us a year and a half since we first saw each other to actually say something past hello.

Then by coincidence just 3 weeks ago, we found each other in the laundry room. We were all alone. We were both nervous and we didn't say a word for a few minutes. Then I broke the ice, and we talked it up for a whole 40 minutes non-stop. Let me say, it was complete chemistry from the beginning the likes of which I've never felt or seen. When my laundry card didn't work, she payed for my laundry (only 5 dollars). She insisted. Her physical language was flirty. When I told her what my father originally wanted to name me as a baby, she said "I think that name is sexy." Her eyes lit up when she said it. She laughed a ton.

She tried to play me though, acting as if she didn't know my name. She kept asking what my name was. She told me she forgot. I know she knows my name because SHE MENTIONS IT TO MY MOM A MILLION TIMES and she has my fb. lol. I never told her my name. She got very comfortable with me quickly, as I with her. She opened up a lot, even though I barely opened up to her myself (gotta have some game right?). We talked a ton. When she was leaving the laundry room at the exit, after she passed me and after I said "good night", she stopped, turned around, and said something with a very hard, flirty look in her eye. I couldn't hear what she said since she was already at the exit, really far away from me. That's the last time I saw her.

But two things were interesting. When she learned I was an atheist, she told me, "my husband is the same way". When she told me what she works in, she, OUT OF NOWHERE, said "I wish my husband made better money". She didn't say it in a very nice way. It didn't sound as if she was mentioning her husband in a defensive way at all. When I mentioned that I wanted to buy a 3 bedroom apt soon, she quickly said "no, one bedroom". It probably means nothing. Again, she wasn't very defensive at all. Those were just interesting tidbits. She doesn't have very good "game" so to speak. Did those things she mentioned have any meaning???

Plus I have some evidence that she's un-happy with him now. During a committee meeting, someone commented on a wedding picture of the two of them. The person said, "oh what a nice family you got there" to which she replied "yeah, that's how it USED to me.....It's not like that anymore." Then when another committee member asked her if she ever misses her husband since he's away in another city a lot for his work during the winter and spring, she said "Not at all. It's better this way". Everyone on the block has realized that she's a very un-happy woman. When she walks the streets, she's always got her head down with a sad face. People who talk to her notice that she's very low most of the time. She practically went from very happy with her hubby and NOT even noticing me, to sad, preferring him out of town working and having a little fascination with me.

I know I'll be seeing her when she does laundry so I'll get a chance. So what do you all think?? Any advice on how to win her heart??? I know she likes me, but I gotta make her go "ga-ga" for me. How can I go about winning her heart??

[bellanish]

Sounds like you really want her.

I was in this similar situation before. No, even worse, in a relationship with a married man. Twice.

And trust me. It was ugly and I'm regretting it every time I think about it.

Any relationship has its ups and down. Especially when it comes to marriage. So Andrea was happy with her husband until recently. True she has been flirting with you but have you ever thought that could she be even thinking of going to the next level with you? She's not happy with her husband and most probably that's why she turns to you to entertain herself. So that's she's not alone. Your post has been mentioning good sides of her.

Please reconsider of what you're about to do.

Because you're about to interfere the tied knot.

Don't make haste.

P/S: Have fun at my vlog by going to my profile and click Homepage

[bombboy85]

I really can't offer a lot of advice because in my experience in life people are going to do what they want to do regardless of advice given... including myself but I will say one thing KARMA is ***** believe me. I live by the thought of I wouldn't do anything to someone else that I would be pissed off for if someone did it to me.

[MaidenMinx]

You said not to say this but for F**ks sake! She is married.

Go ahead, make her fall for you and encourage her to leave her husband. What happens in a few years when she gets bored of you?

You are an idiot and a jerk. It takes 2 to tango. If she is unhappy in her marriage it's just as much her fault as it is his.

[richardwordoff]

What the hell is wrong with you? You really don't have any problems trying to break someone's marriage up?
Like Minx said, if you did do it and she got with you, why would you think she you'd be immune to her running off later on?
Also, even if you were to proceed with this "plan" of yours, be aware that husbands are jealous and some of them are crazy. If he finds out he may kick your ass or something worse.

[Kyrina]

Bombboy85
I really can't offer a lot of advice because in my experience in life people are going to do what they want to do regardless of advice given... including myself but I will say one thing KARMA is ***** believe me. I live by the thought of I wouldn't do anything to someone else that I would be pissed off for if someone did it to me.


I wish more people thought this way too *kudos*

[Wakeup]

@ OP: Why are you acting like a fvcking idiot? That mature enough for you?

[confused2207]

I have this to say... I have been in a situation where a girl had a longtime bf that I knew she deserved better than. I knrew there was chemistry between us. I went for it. We got close. She got to the point that I made her more happy than he did, but she wouldn leave. He's got a past and history on his side.... You can't do much to change that.

I will say this, though it didn work out, I don't regret it, because I know there was somethin there. So. Do what you gotta do. But know that the odds are heavily stacked against you.

[Wakeup]

[I will say this, though it didn work out, I don't regret it, because I know there was somethin there. So. Do what you gotta do. But know that the odds are heavily stacked against you.

well it's easy to see that you have a real problem and you haven't learned a freaking thing from your fiasco. OP: This is probably the worse advice you could get. However; Like Confused (applicable screen name btw) you will not listen and you'll do what your balls tell you to do and like him, you'll mistake lust for love.

[HeartIsAching]

First off, all of your evidence is based on supposition and hearsay. You've got no direct evidence that she's into you at all.

Second, even if she is into you, you don't want to have a relationship with her. What do you think's gonna happen a few years down the road when you're hitting 30 and not "doing it" for her anymore? She's gonna go hit the laundry room again. You really want somebody that's incapable of making a commitment and sticking to it? Or do you for some bizarre reason actually believe that your dick is gonna be the one with the magic in it that'll make her stay?

You want to win her heart? Whaffor? If she wants to leave her husband she should do so. After that happens, frankly I'd treat her like a postage stamp at most, no more than that.

[pizza]

First, I want to thank everyone for the responses, both positive and negative. Believe me when I say, I read everything and thought of everything. I did have an idea that my story and situation was not going to cause the happiest responses, but I appreciate them anyway. Gotta take the bad with the good I suppose. I respect all opinions, and I say that with love. No hate. Now to respond to some things:

Sounds like you really want her.

I will not deny it. I do.

I was in this similar situation before. No, even worse, in a relationship with a married man. Twice.

And trust me. It was ugly and I'm regretting it every time I think about it.

First I'm sorry it didn't work out. Second, can you share some of your story?? If not here, then in private messages. I would love to hear them. It could help me plenty.

Any relationship has its ups and down. Especially when it comes to marriage. So Andrea was happy with her husband until recently. True she has been flirting with you but have you ever thought that could she be even thinking of going to the next level with you? She's not happy with her husband and most probably that's why she turns to you to entertain herself. So that's she's not alone. Your post has been mentioning good sides of her.

Well about Andrea being unhappy, recently.....It's been well known she's been unhappy ever since the first year of them moving in our block. Meaning her unhappiness isn't very recent, as it's been a few years. It was as if the happy marriage died quickly. Since she was introduced to me a year and a half ago, she has started the stares and fascination. But before that, people had noticed a complete change in her.

Also of good note, her husband is in the kind of job that forces him to be away plenty during the winter and spring. Plus people that work in what he works in have a tendency to cheat a lot so if I had to guess it, he probably cheated on her, she probably found out and fell out of love with him. That part is just a guess on my part. Then after some time with her heart empty, she met me and well...... Plus, the moment she was introduced to me, I cannot describe the eye contact we made. It was as if we had a whole conversation only with our eyes. And the "eye conversations" has been going on for a year and a half before our first time talking in the laundry room. Remember, when she saw me before (when she was notably happy) she didn't even notice me. I was younger at the time though (20).

I did consider that she only does these things to, as you say, entertain herself, so that she feels better. But go back and re-read everything I wrote. I could never imagine a woman doing what she's already done. I didn't even mention everything yet. Lol. All that I wrote in the original post was just a summary. If you want more of what she's done, just ask.

Plus she's not the first married older woman to have fallen for me (that's to say if she really has fallen for me). There have been 3 other married women in my life who have fallen for me big time but I never advanced on them because I never felt a thing for them. I ended up rejecting them. I could never take advantage of a woman who I feel nothing for. They just liked the way I was and all that. So this whole thing about a married woman falling for me is nothing new. Although this time, if Andrea really falls for me big time, I'll take her .

Please reconsider of what you're about to do.

Because you're about to interfere the tied knot.

Don't make haste.

Believe me when I say, during the next few months, if everything goes good, I'll most definitely question myself and the whole situation. But what if this leads to happiness??? I know of two couples who are in great marriages today that came from affairs. It's not ideal, but it happens.

This can go good..........or it can go bad. I understand this. I guess it's a gamble a lot of people take.

[pizza]

I have this to say... I have been in a situation where a girl had a longtime bf that I knew she deserved better than. I knrew there was chemistry between us. I went for it. We got close. She got to the point that I made her more happy than he did, but she wouldn leave. He's got a past and history on his side.... You can't do much to change that.

I will say this, though it didn work out, I don't regret it, because I know there was somethin there. So. Do what you gotta do. But know that the odds are heavily stacked against you.

Sorry she didn't leave him.

I understand the odds are heavily stacked against me. But no one said it was going to be easy.

[Kiechi]

Let's be honest, if shit does hit the fan you're not going to be the one that has to pick up the pieces. As much as you pretend to worry about the implications, it's clear you don't. The very fact that you ruminate about having a R/S with her demonstrates so. Your biggest problem anyway is gonna' be karma... and I hope it gets you good.

[rafterman]

If by chance your not a troll.............

So one day, I got the guts to find her on facebook and she accepted the friend request,

Gee that must mean she's head over heels for you,

When she told me what she works in, she, OUT OF NOWHERE, said "I wish my husband made better money". She didn't say it in a very nice way

.
Red flag

[Kiechi]

^ Hate to admit so, but I agree with Wafterman. Gollllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeedeeeeeeeeeeeeeee gggggggggggaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrr.