Is this really the end? HELP! I'm so desperate

[iel008]

My boyfriend of 1 year and 4 months broke up 2 nights ago and I'm really lost and confused. At the beginning of our relationship, I was totally in control of myself. I wasn't acting jealous, psycho and was totally an understanding and mature gf. He was very insecure and eveytime he feels that insecurities, he would break up with me and I would beg him not to. So we would be fine again and he would tell me that if ever he would break up with me, not to let him go and that he hopes I wont get tired of him. So I stuck with him and changed who I was. I lost time for myself and my friends and my world revolved around him and was doing everything that I feel he wouldn't take bad. I know he loved me. But then I suddenly became insecure and we would fight because I feel bad everytime he hangs out with his friends.

Small fights became huge fights. And I was tolerating his controlling behavior just to please him. He would blame me for the littlest thing and would get mad at me for no rational reason at all. Even if it's not my fault, example, when he drove me home one time, a bike accidentally hit his car (but no damage was done not even a scratch) and he was mad and took it out on me. When I tried to comfort him he said I was making him look stupid. I wasn't really happy with the relationship anymore but I loved him.

2 nights ago (after several tries of breaking up with me), he broke up with me and he feels that he was just pushed into the relationship. He got mad because he texted me earlier and asked if I wanted to see him, and I said, "ok, do you want us to meet at the mall instead?". And his reply was "I already asked if you wanted to see me so obviously I will pick you up from work". And that's when he said that he was reeally annoyued and cant help feeling that way towards me and he wasnt like that before. He broke up with me and as usual begged for him not to leave me and I know it sounds pathetic and desperate but I dont wanna loose him. So I just hugged him and he didnt have any reaction although I can tell he was really pissed. But then the night before that, we were still ok and he called me when I told him that I was going to sleep already (he was out with his friends btw).

Now I'm so lost. I wanted to call him but I'm stopping myself from doing so. I still want to be in our relationship though. Now I'm still hoping that he will call me when things cool down. Help.. How can I get his attention back? For guys, would you still call an ex after breaking up with her.

[HeartIsAching]

Why do you like being in a relationship with a head-game playing abuser that doesn't know how to communicate?

[iel008]

I guess because I love him so much.. And I still want him back. But I don't know how to get his attention back..

[HeartIsAching]

Try going to No Contact for a month. That'll show him.

[maxmax]

Dependence is not love.

Learn to distinguish, and you'll see the difference between the two.

[bulrush]

I guess because I love him so much.. And I still want him back. But I don't know how to get his attention back..

Love helps, but it doesn't cure everything. Stop taking advice from songs. We've been there, done that, got the t-shirt. There are some very smart, wise people here. You need to drop this guy and find someone who loves you for YOU.