A friend of mine.

[AlexD]

Okay I'm gonna cut to the chase here.. This is not a typical "friendzone" diagnosis.

I have been friends with this girl since I have been 15. We never really felt attraction toward eachother until about 4 months ago. We started flirting a lot, but I got the impression that it was just all in fun since she had never expressed these feelings before. I had also been dating girls at the time and I would often go to her for advice time to time.

Every now and then if we're all out partying she'll kiss me playfully on the cheek, grab my butt, things like that. If we're hanging out with our group of friends watching a movie somewhere she'll cuddle up to me.

One night we wound up making out for like 10 seconds, then she just pulled away and acted really strange. I didn't really know what happened since this has never happened to me before. I didn't really sweat it and just got up and went back to hanging out with people at the party.

We haven't kissed since then, but we fell asleep next to eachother one night and started feeling eachother up.. Didn't go further than this because there were other people in the room.

Lately she's been kind of b1tchy to me, but I've just been turning the other cheek toward it. One night I got pretty fed up with her saying to me "You're such a typical guy blah blah" complaining as if I had done something horrible to her. So then I told her "That's not the way you show people respect. If you have a problem with me, you can address me about it without being insulting and I'll do the same to you".

After this she kind of toned down and we still had a fun night together. I've really been wanting to kiss her, but do not want her to feel uncomfortable about it.

So now I'm thinking there are a few options for this particular girl right now.

1.) She's really nervous about kissing me since we have been great friends for a while and wants something more than friends/scared of denial.
2.) She's really nervous about kissing me since we have been great friends for a while, but just wants a FWB situation and does not want to lead me on.
3.) She's just a cocktease.

I cannot tell at all what she wants if she's interested in me, but I need to find a way for her to understand that I really just live in the moment. When I'm with a girl I don't think "I want this girl to be my wife!" I just focus on the great time I'm having with her at the moment. Things will go the way they'll go.

Any women want to help me out here? lol
3.)

[smackie9]

She likes you, but she is trying to figure out if she should trust you if you'd be interested in being exclusive with her. Girls are stupid....from some reason they expect you to be able to read their frickin mind......just pull her aside and talk about it.

[smackie9]

I agree with the wife comment....girls are so up tight about the future and have to drag the talk of marriage and crap into it when you should be just enjoying each others company.

[Mathias]

She has no idea what she wants, and she's treating you badly while she figures it out.

You're seeing another side of her - make sure you can deal with it before progressing. That side of her isn't going to go away.

[NeverDated]

How old is she? That makes a huge difference.

Here's my diagnosis from a mid-20s perspective: She's chemically attracted to you, but thinks/knows it will never work. Sometimes, she loses self-control and shows it, but afterward she's rude to maintain distance, maybe even to keep you from falling for her.

I'd proceed with caution, if at all. If you're actually interested in a relationship, you need to very slowly work from friends to dating and be ready to retreat if things get weird. If you jump too fast, the bridge will be burned. Women have a very hard time moving from friends to relationship and back again.

I've been here. It's mentally confusing for both parties. My best advice? Maintain a friendly distance until the hormones have worn off. From what you said, you're quickly approaching the point of doing something stupid (sleeping with her) that will destroy the friendship and ruin any chance of a real relationship.

[MerryH]

Girls are stupid.

girls are so up tight

Speak for yourself, you ****ing misogynist.

OP, just ask her out on a date. See where it goes. There's obviously something there.

[smackie9]

Young girls are stupid...I should know a was a young girl myself and ya I remember being stupid too and so were my friends. LOL.

[smackie9]

The brain cells don't usually settle down until you hit your late 20, early 30s.

[MerryH]

He didn't say anything about her current age.

[smackie9]

If that is how she acts at the age of 23 + he should be staying away from her like the frickin plague! She needs to grow up.

[clarebear123]

I agree I think she is confused and you guys need to sit down and talk it through! Make sure you explain to her that you have wanted to kiss her again but refrained because you weren't sure how she felt about that (that way she can't go saying you are a prick or a "typical guy" besides, she's probs just saying that because she feels a bit embarrassed or awkward around you and she doesn't really mean it) Leave the ball in her court and let her make a decision about what she wants.. That way you don't look like you are using her or something!

It's better for you guys to talk this through now before anything else happens and you risk ruining your friendship completely!

Good luck!

[AlexD]

How old is she? That makes a huge difference.

Here's my diagnosis from a mid-20s perspective: She's chemically attracted to you, but thinks/knows it will never work. Sometimes, she loses self-control and shows it, but afterward she's rude to maintain distance, maybe even to keep you from falling for her.

I'd proceed with caution, if at all. If you're actually interested in a relationship, you need to very slowly work from friends to dating and be ready to retreat if things get weird. If you jump too fast, the bridge will be burned. Women have a very hard time moving from friends to relationship and back again.

I've been here. It's mentally confusing for both parties. My best advice? Maintain a friendly distance until the hormones have worn off. From what you said, you're quickly approaching the point of doing something stupid (sleeping with her) that will destroy the friendship and ruin any chance of a real relationship.

The both of us are 22. I wouldn't say that qualifies as mid-20s but I definitely see where you're coming from here. I do not think I will sleep with her any time soon since about 80% of the time we're together we're in a group of friends. I can see how she thinks it might not work, cause I don't have a great record of having girlfriends haha.. Never been in a relationship that lasted more than 2 months.

[AlexD]

I agree I think she is confused and you guys need to sit down and talk it through! Make sure you explain to her that you have wanted to kiss her again but refrained because you weren't sure how she felt about that (that way she can't go saying you are a prick or a "typical guy" besides, she's probs just saying that because she feels a bit embarrassed or awkward around you and she doesn't really mean it) Leave the ball in her court and let her make a decision about what she wants.. That way you don't look like you are using her or something!

It's better for you guys to talk this through now before anything else happens and you risk ruining your friendship completely!

Good luck!

I agree with you about the sit down and talk thing from a logical point of view, however everytime I have done this with a girl I'm interested in.. It just ended badly. I get the "Let's just be friends" (But im super creeped out by you for even MENTIONING this!) treatment. I honestly don't get what I do wrong.. I'm a lot more confident and stable than a lot of my friends who are in relationships. A lot of those guys can't even make eye contact in conversation with someone they know, let alone a stranger. I'm not a bad looking dude either, just got mixed up with the wrong women i guess!

[IndiReloaded]

The both of us are 22. I wouldn't say that qualifies as mid-20s but I definitely see where you're coming from here. Never been in a relationship that lasted more than 2 months.

"That's not the way you show people respect. If you have a problem with me, you can address me about it without being insulting and I'll do the same to you".

After this she kind of toned down and we still had a fun night together.

This was great^.

You're both young, she needs to learn to be politely assertive. Just keep doing your thing. What happens, happens.

[Phoenix23]

I agree with the wife comment....girls are so up tight about the future and have to drag the talk of marriage and crap into it when you should be just enjoying each others company.

I felt this way recently too. Some girls seem to be more in love with the idea of getting married than the person.
What will come will come. But I think it's a bad sign when girls get too uptight about wanting to tag you with a ring instead of just enjoying your company.