What is the purpose of having a girlfriend/boyfriend?

[iloveyouboth]

Lately I've been thinking, and over thinking. I've always wondered, is there any purpose to having a significant other besides feeling that sense of emotional security, or for the purpose of marriage and creating babies?

When I'm with my girlfriend, sometimes I feel a bit empty, and feel like she doesn't really want to be with me, except to have sex. I mean, in the beginning she really did feel happy and joyful when I was around, but now she seems like she's comfortable. I suppose this may be inevitable, but this sort of thing kind of brought me to the question of the purpose of having a significant other in your life.

[robertdawson]

Hmm, that's an interesting question.

Emotional security is big for some people, not as big for others. Obviously having babies is important for the future of the human race, but may not be what everyone wants to do.

I don't have much experience with relationships, but it sounds like the emotions you two would have when you were with each other have dulled, almost like it just feels normal to be together now and isn't a big deal anymore. I don't know if this is typical for most people or not. Has this happened with other women you've been with?

[iloveyouboth]

Well most of my relationships have lasted about 2 months or less, and for the woman I'm seeing currently it has been almost 3 months. We did push the relationship a tad bit fast I think, though (sleepovers, sex, etc).
I kind of have an idea on how to "spice" it up, but right now I'm just wondering if the fire did dull down.

[MaidenMinx]

I just recently married my wonderful man, who I have been with 8 years (1 month and 15 days but who's counting :p ) and I did so for the following reasons

I could not imagine my life with out him

He is a huge amount of emotional support. It's cliched but he's my rock.

He makes me want to be a better me simply because I think he is so awesome and I feel blessed to have him. (I often ask what I did to deserve him because I'd do it a million times over)

He is the father of my son and I could not raise our son without him.

When I met him I wasn't look for a partner, we spent quite a while just as friends before we got together. When we did get together we went through a lot of crap to get to the happiness we have.

[Yet another guy]

When I met him I wasn't look for a partner, we spent quite a while just as friends before we got together.

Quite a risky approach. How did he escape your friendzone?

[MaidenMinx]

Quite a risky approach. How did he escape your friendzone?

There's a story, and I've been feeling chatty so prepare for a bit of a read.

I met my hubby through my ex. I was living with the ex after we broke up (neither of us had anywhere else to go / we were both being stubborn about who should leave) and we had been broken up for a bit over a year. I had been dating and on the day I met my hubby I had just had my trust betrayed rather terribly literally hours before. I had been crying in my room when he arrived. I heard he and the ex laughing in the lounge room. And laughing some more. Intrigued I went out to see what was so funny. After about an hour of laughing my arse off with them I remember thinking "WOW!! I could really like this guy" I then spent the rest of his visit berating myself for being so stupid.

Over the next couple of months he visited often. Every time he visited the 3 of us would laugh until our sides ached and we had tears streaming down our faces. Anyone else who would drop by would sit by pissing themselves laughing but unable to keep up with the wit enough to join in.

One day my ex said to me " (He) wants to put his dick in you? Are you gonna let him?" Shocked I replied "No. You know I could never go out with someone who is into porn" (at the time, I believed it. Don't pick on me. I was only 22). We argued for a bit and I was able to convince him I had no interest though I knew I was lying. He finished the argument with "You know (he) knows where the line is and he dances all over it. The worst bit is you seem to adore it. Be careful of that" I had to concede he had a point so I have to include and example of his "line dancing" as I call it. He was sitting in our lounge room and the ex was showing him how to play a few chords on the guitar. He looks at me with guitar in lap, strums once and sings " (name), I think you're cool" strum "(name), I think you're great" strum "I wanna see you" strum "MASTURBATE". He then dropped the guitar and bolted outside.

FF a few months and I actually got an opportunity to move out! I jumped at it and enlisted hubbys help to move in. I hoped that by helping me move in and knowing where I lived he'd visit, but no. He kept visiting the ex but not me. I was not happy about this. Another mutual friend of the 3 of us made his move not long after this and I went with it. 6 short weeks later that was over. The ex was seriously not happy that I would get together with someone he knew and was in a position to have to see often. It wasn't much longer after that that the house I was living in was robbed and I was certain it was a friend of my flat mates who did it. I think I lasted there a month before I got the f**k outta there. Unfortunately it meant re-approaching my ex. Everyone else I knew was living with their folks or had no room. So back I went.

It wasn't long after this that the ex decided to go back to his parents farm for a month. Before he left hubby came over one day as I was flicking through a local street mag. I noticed an add for a concert I wanted to go to but couldn't find anyone to go with. Hubby said he'd go with me, and promptly gave me the money to pick up a ticket for him. I was stoked. The concert was set to be a week after the ex left town. Not that I was hoping too much at the point, I guess I felt like I had been friend zoned.

The night after the ex left town, hubby dropped by and asked me if I wanted to see a movie. The next night he dropped in after work with some bourbon. He was busy the next 2 nights but dropped in again on the third. It was that night (technically the next morning, it was 3 am) that we kissed for the first time. Well I kissed him and he kissed me back. The night after that we went to the concert. When he got to the bar he ordered him self a beer and "a bourbon for my girlfriend". I beamed.

The rest as they say is history.

[Yet another guy]

Sweet story I'm happy for you.

[MaidenMinx]

Thank you.

The only downside to the whole story was how badly the ex took it but that was kinda to be expected. He cut his trip short and kicked me out when he found out. Held my cat hostage too. I got the cat back though... 2 years later. That's a good story too, but one for another day.

As I was finishing up typing before hubby came home from work. I told him what I had been doing. He saw how long my post was and expressed surprise. For him us getting together was as simple as we got some time alone, I kissed him, he called me his girlfriend. I asked him if he'd ever hoped for or thought about me. He was like "well I knew you were cool..." obviously getting uncomfortable. I find it quite funny the differences between our perception of it all.

[Yet another guy]

Held your cat as a hostage :O Wow.

Yeah, when one likes another a lot or maybe even has a crush but doesn't show it, perception is bound to be different.

[Simon_ricci]

Relationship it's like a friendship, but with kisses I think you are not feeling wild passion with your girlfriend.. That's why you asking this type of question.
When you will fall in love you will understand why people dating with opposite sex (not only about sex)