Where are all the nice girls who don't mind being friends with benefits?

[ianoulla]

Clearly nice girls/decent/reasonable girls have spotted you a mile off. Somebody like you using a nice girl, would well and truly screw her up. Making love is making love, not a bloody sport/or fun pastime like 10 bin bowling or going to a spa for a swim and a massage. When I have a relationship with somebody, it is that, a relationship. I have friends of the opposite sex, I do not think of them in a sexual way, we go for coffee, swim, dance or whatever. I suggest you go and pay for it, at least somebody would get financial benefit from your stupidity.

[maxmax]

Eh yeah for the most part men and women can't be friends but there will always be the exceptions.

I don't believe that. I have just as many female friends as male. Of those female friends I do not see any of them sexually, nor would I want to.

[ctr916]

So it's zero. You've spoken to zero women. This is a big problem. Go out and meet people and just try to be friendly. Do not offer massages or NSA sex. Just be normal.

I have been meeting women; it is simply easier to be honest with chicks regarding short term relationships, when I have enough money.

[ctr916]

There are a lot of people on this site that don't believe men and woman can truly be friends. I've talked to many who believe that men have ulterior motives to creating platonic friendships with women.

Even when I mention my platonic guy friends, someone always says, "You know those dudes still wanna bang you, right?"

How much of that is a stereotype? I find it dificult to believe that men and women cannot be friends, or the term girlfriend would not exist.

In my opinion, a nice guy can never have too many girl friends. While I may agree with you regarding male motives under our current regime, would that still be the case if it were more customary and socially acceptable, for women to use men for sex until a guy clamors for a relationship? One reason for committment phobia could be a lack of getting laid enough to want a relationship. If guys had no need for ulterior motives, why would they not explore better friendships with women as a gender?

[ctr916]

In a lot of instances men and women can't be friends. I think they got it right when they talked about it in When Harry Met Sally.

I personally am one of those people that literally can not have too many friends, I find it overwhelming. I have my hubby and my family and one best friend who is basically part of the family. Other than that most of the people I know are male but the only one that is comfortable hanging around when hubby isn't home is gay. If guys and gals can be friends with no problems, why do none of my hetero male friends feel comfortable hanging out when hubby is not home? It could just be that I am a terrible conversationalist...

I think it depends on any mutual hobbies and interests; since I doubt you would have the same problem in a business environment when discussing business on a for profit basis.

In my case, it depend on whether I am getting used for sex by other women or not. I sometimes get bashful when other women are not using me for sex often enough. Have you ever considered hooking up some of those male friends with girl friends who may have a higher sex drive or may feel they are meeting their quota recently? Most guys would probably be willing to put a specific chick in the friend zone if all the other chicks can simply use him for sex.

[ctr916]

I agree with Maiden. I only end up hanging out with any of my guy friends for a brief chat over coffee or lunch, and then we part ways. I don't have the type of friendships with them where we text all the time, or spend hours hanging out. That's why I have my boyfriend and my girlfriends. It'd be super inappropriate to indulge those kinds of friendships while my boyfriend in my life. He's priority and I don't ever want him to feel otherwise.

I suppose it depends on the relationship and how you are relating. I am not sure this would be a problem for guys if they could get laid as easy as women can. We already make better platonic friends, I am sure we can make better heterosexual friends as well.

[ctr916]

Clearly nice girls/decent/reasonable girls have spotted you a mile off. Somebody like you using a nice girl, would well and truly screw her up. Making love is making love, not a bloody sport/or fun pastime like 10 bin bowling or going to a spa for a swim and a massage. When I have a relationship with somebody, it is that, a relationship. I have friends of the opposite sex, I do not think of them in a sexual way, we go for coffee, swim, dance or whatever. I suggest you go and pay for it, at least somebody would get financial benefit from your stupidity.

I do admit I would rather be able to pray for true love and perform true love rituals at a temple to Aphrodite rather than feel I have to lie to women to get sex; I think exploring a friend with benefits relationship can be a rewarding experience. No one claims there is a time limit on friendship.

Why do you believe being holy and moral to the institution of money based markets whenever one can't be holy and moral to religious "markets", is stupid? What is smart about the requiring recourse to the abomination of hypocrisy?

[lahnnabell]

for women to use men for sex until a guy clamors for a relationship

Women don't do this. And if they do, the guy still has the option of wooing her and screwing her. And then leaving if he wants (relationship or not).

If guys had no need for ulterior motives, why would they not explore better friendships with women as a gender?

Because you're proving that you want girls to bang. You are not looking for a platonic friend. You want a girl that you can bang.

[lahnnabell]

I suppose it depends on the relationship and how you are relating. I am not sure this would be a problem for guys if they could get laid as easy as women can. We already make better platonic friends, I am sure we can make better heterosexual friends as well.

Please, explain to me how you differentiate a platonic friend from a heterosexual friend. I'm very curious.

[MaidenMinx]

I think it depends on any mutual hobbies and interests; since I doubt you would have the same problem in a business environment when discussing business on a for profit basis.

In my case, it depend on whether I am getting used for sex by other women or not. I sometimes get bashful when other women are not using me for sex often enough. Have you ever considered hooking up some of those male friends with girl friends who may have a higher sex drive or may feel they are meeting their quota recently? Most guys would probably be willing to put a specific chick in the friend zone if all the other chicks can simply use him for sex.

I think I'll try reading this again later. Right now (7 am) I have very little clue what this has to do with what I posted. If someone sees this and has more of a clue than I have, please feel free to clarify.

[lahnnabell]

I think I'll try reading this again later. Right now (7 am) I have very little clue what this has to do with what I posted. If someone sees this and has more of a clue than I have, please feel free to clarify.

I was thinking the same thing. I think he just strings phrases together with very little attention to what they actually mean. Using words like quota and platonic vs. heterosexual? WTF.

[MaidenMinx]

I was thinking the same thing. I think he just strings phrases together with very little attention to what they actually mean. Using words like quota and platonic vs. heterosexual? WTF.

I THINK what he was trying to say is that if my male friends were receiving the right amount of sex they would find it easier to be friends with me. I personally find the idea that a guy can't be friends with me if he's horny rather disgusting.

[Yet another guy]

I think he has a point. Guys can certainly be friends with you even if they are horny but if they are, they want to **** you and therefore won't fit in your definition of platonic friends.
Just because they want to **** you, doesn't mean that they can't be your friend though - in my opinion.

[lahnnabell]

Well, "the right amount of sex" differs for every person. So, in ctr's opinion, before I call up a male friend to meet up for coffee I should inquire as to whether or not he's gotten laid in the last 48 hours. Y'know, 'cause he might not have enough willpower to keep from trying to screw me on the cafe counter.

[MaidenMinx]

I think he has a point. Guys can certainly be friends with you even if they are horny but if they are, they want to **** you and therefore won't fit in your definition of platonic friends.
Just because they want to **** you, doesn't mean that they can't be your friend though - in my opinion.

Oh I completely agree. Just because I get annoyed by the fact that all my guy friends will only visit when my husband is home doesn't mean I'm going to stop being friends with them. I also respect the fact that they are basically stopping any trouble before it can begin.

And the part that I found disgusting was the suggestion that I try to hook my hornier male friends up with my chick friends to remove the tension. I'm sorry, but if a guy can't keep it in his pants long enough to have a conversation with me or expects me to take some responsibility for his discomfort then that guy is not friend material IMO. And I have ditched guy friends in the past for 'Since I can't have you, how bout you hook me up with one of your grilfriends?' I personally think that is a disgusting apporach.