Can't Get It Up During Sex

[bob96]

Alright so me and my girlfriend are both teenagers and have been together for 3 months soon. We've bonded really well and there's no doubt we're really happy together. Since we got together we've made a lot of physical contact, kissed, cuddled and also both given each other oral sex - we've also got each other off manually.

However there is a slight problem. She is now on her pill, has been for a few weeks, and we decided to buy a pack of condoms for one evening she was staying over mine, with a free house. We did so and we got a pack of ultra-thin ones. The problem is, as soon as we're about to have sex and about to put the condom on, I begin to lose my erection even though we're both naked and in the dark. We tried twice, once that evening before bed after a few hours of lying in bed making out, and once the next day in the afternoon. Both times I was unable to get it up and keep it up.

I don't have this problem during masturbation (with or without porn), with her while making out or oral sex/a hand job and there is no doubt that she really turns me on with or without clothes. She moans, talks dirty and I tried fingering her, giving her oral sex and also letting her rub my penis during the build up to putting the condom on and as soon as it was on. She also tried putting it on directly after a blowjob...

But the end result is always the same - I'm unable to keep it up even though I find her extremely sexy and I'm turned on by her. Not to mention the fact its fine when we're just making out or even when I'm thinking of her. I'm able to masturbate without porn (thinking of her) so its not like that is the issue, its obviously me which she finds hard to believe even though both times we gave up, she jerked me off with her hands right after.

I have browsed several websites, the main thing seems to be anxiety and worrying about your performance. Being honest I've never worried about it and I have been really excited about this for a long time. I am confident in myself and I'm not exactly worried about my body (although maybe I should try and leave clothes on the first time to make sure?). So I don't think this is the problem.

Could it possibly be we make out so much in advance that when it comes to it I'm out of energy or blood from having an erection for so long before hand? If we did it straight away without cuddling in bed first (of course not avoiding foreplay) could that be a better idea? Or maybe I have watched too much porn in the past and I'm simply used to relaxing and doing it with my hands. I should say the first time we tried, I hadn't masturbated for 3-4 days, so its not like I wasn't excited.

Any advice is appreciated, I'm not entirely sure what to do about this. We've talked about not using a condom as she's well into her birth control pills and we're definitely not sleeping with others as we're both virgins at this point, she only started taking the pill 3 weeks ago, so. Whether or not that will make a difference I don't know, as it seems to be a mental issue not the actual condom.

[lahnnabell]

Yeah, this sounds like a mental issue. Seems like you're anticipating something when you put the condom on? Do you get anxious because you think it's not going to feel as good? My boyfriend in college was like this. Typically my boyfriends and friends say that it has to do with the loss of feeling and the frustration that goes along with it. I can't imagine that it feels so much different that it would make someone lose their hard on. I always wondered if it had to do with how much a guy jerked off because that will definitely take away sensitivity after a time. The same way it happens to women if they rely on their vibrators too much.

[bulrush]

Yes, it sounds like a mental issue. Try masturbating with a condom on. Get used to it, and associate a condom with pleasure. That will help. Keep thinking how tight that rubber ring is at the base of you. That's always fun.

The other thing is, making out might be taking too long and you just get tired. Maybe you are not being teased enough and making out is going too fast.

So, how old are you and the girl? How much exercise do you get each week, and what type of exercise is it? I just want to check those things.

Oh yeah, if you are a big guy, a normal may be too small for you and might actually be painful. You might get a larger size. I buy condoms on Ebay from a seller called "bulgeinbulk". Search for them. Lots of brands, and very cheap. I thought they might be selling condom rejects that failed testing, so I emailed the Lifestyles company. They do not package rejects, they destroy them.

[maxmax]

Get her to put it on ... and make it sexy, with her mouth for example.

If that makes you lose an erection, then I don't know what to suggest.

Maybe as soon as you get an erection, put a condom on, even if you're not planning on having sex immediately, just so you get used to actually putting it on, having on etc.

Have you tried having sex without a condom? If so, has the same thing happened?

You have to determine whether this is a problem with you and condoms, or you and penetration.

[lahnnabell]

Get her to put it on ... and make it sexy, with her mouth for example.

If that makes you lose an erection, then I don't know what to suggest.

Maybe as soon as you get an erection, put a condom on, even if you're not planning on having sex immediately, just so you get used to actually putting it on, having on etc.

Have you tried having sex without a condom? If so, has the same thing happened?

You have to determine whether this is a problem with you and condoms, or you and penetration.

Make sure they're flavored condoms. Even those taste like ass though

[Mathias]

Stop taking advice from strangers on the internet and go see a doctor. Mental or physical, this is a medical issue.

And yes, I've had a lot of experience in this area.