What does it mean for a man to have a "type"?

[lahnnabell]

My boyfriend is a car guy, drummer, AV nerd, sailor. Haha.

[JennaBella]

definitely my dream girl. I wake up every morning to her lovely face, and am amazed at my good fortune.


P.S. WHY are you asking men you're interested in about their type? Is it insecurity?

first of all that's an incredibly sweet thing to
say about ur wife, lucky lady! Hope she knows that's what u think


yes I guess it is just insecurity. I'm ok looking, probably above average but I have my hang ups! My ex when we were together made me feel like the sexiest woman on earth. Then the last night we spent together we had a lighthearted chat about types and he said "tall, about 5'10", curvy, long dark hair, smouldering brown eyes". I remember saying oh I see, nothing like me then and he brushed it off. Well, turns out he'd met a girl on a dating site and she fits that description to a tee!! Bastard!!!!
The kelly brook thing was said to me by my ex hubby. But I know my exB fancies her too so she's kind of a guide to the type the two if them are attracted to. Makes me feel like shit to be honest. Like a short assed blonde nobody. I hate feeling this way!! What's weird is that my exB's ex wife is very like me physically, same height, hair colour, skin tone, build. So his description of his type seems a bit odd given that his previous two significant relationships have been with people unlike his suppposed ideal. Oh well......

[bulrush]

Men are very superficial, visual creatures.

Ahem. MOST men are like this, not all. For me, it's mostly the personality that I'm attracted to.

A good portion of them simply fail to understand that most women do not look or will ever look like Kelly Brook.

I agree. And I'm a man.

We're fed all this BS through media that says women are supposed to look this way and/or must strive to look this way. In reality, it's up to you to decide what your guidelines are. Measuring yourself against the girl on the cover of Cosmo is a terrible idea and pointless.

And I'm fed up with women using the media as some unrealistic goal they must meet or they will be alone forever.

[JennaBella]

Ahem. MOST men are like this, not all. For me, it's mostly the personality that I'm attracted to.


I agree. And I'm a man.


And I'm fed up with women using the media as some unrealistic goal they must meet or they will be alone forever.

In actual fact the media has nothing to do with it in my case! It's two real men who have expressed these desires. I was quite happy with myself and don't even attempt to live up to media ideals. With the best will in the world I challenge any dumpee to feel brimming with confidence when their ex replaces them. It's only natural to have times of self doubt. I know it'll pass!

[lahnnabell]

It's a very unconscious thing. That's why they use subliminal advertising techniques. Every time you look in the mirror and ask yourself why your thighs aren't thinner you're referencing an ideal. You may not have a specific picture in your mind, but there is an object for comparison. Your thinking this because there IS another girl who's thighs are thinner and you imagine that she's more desirable because of it. (This is a random example)

The media affects men, yes. Because Kelly Brook is a model, so she's part of the media. Men find her desirable because she's hot and visually accessible, therefore they think that she MUST be real. As a human being she's real (meaning a model named Kelly Brook exists), but she's airbrushed and photo-shopped. They digitally trim down her thighs, her waist, enhance her boobs, and airbrush her skin. Even after all that

A good portion of [men and women] simply fail to understand that most women do not look or will ever look like Kelly Brook.

The ideal is to create an image of a woman that looks like she does 24/7. She wakes up like that. She drives the kids to school in the morning looking like that. She washes your car in her short shorts and a bikini top. Men buy into it or they wouldn't buy Playgirl and GQ.

If Kelly Brook didn't look like she did, she wouldn't be all over magazines and media, and guys would never be able to compare anything to her. But it would just be someone else in her place. Megan Fox, Tera Patrick, etc.

[Yet another guy]

Weird examlpe Why would anyone want to have thinner thighs? Assuming that they are average rather than a ball of fat.

I thought that it was women who compare themselves to these women in media. Do guys really compare women to them?

[lahnnabell]

Weird examlpe Why would anyone want to have thinner thighs? Assuming that they are average rather than a ball of fat.

I thought that it was women who compare themselves to these women in media. Do guys really compare women to them?

If guys didn't compare women to an ideal image, then men probably wouldn't care so much about things like how much their girlfriend weighs, or if her clothes fit her perfectly, or if her boobs were big enough. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of good, solid guys out there. But there are still a lot of douche bags. Men do it to themselves too, but the same goes for male models and actors. They get airbrushed.

And I'm not talking about boney thighs. I suppose more toned, less fatty thighs is more accurate. But even in Photoshop all they do is trim them down and add shading in the right places to match the lighting. They airbrush out stretch marks and anything that makes their legs look less than flawless. Notice how tabloids are much more geared at ridiculing feminine beauty too.

[Yet another guy]

Do guys really care about such things? In my experience, the girls have had more problems with their own wegiht, clothes etc. than me. Of course, I would care that she's sexy (=beautiful/attractive/pretty...) but that's not defined by how other women (in tv) look but by how attracted I feel. I find it hard to believe that other guys would care if their gf looks like someone they've seen on telly.

Boney, toned, whatever. I'd prefer womans thighs to be noticably bigger than mine. With much less muscle, obviously. I don't care how thin thighs are in tv.

[lahnnabell]

Do guys really care about such things? In my experience, the girls have had more problems with their own wegiht, clothes etc. than me. Of course, I would care that she's sexy (=beautiful/attractive/pretty...) but that's not defined by how other women (in tv) look but by how attracted I feel. I find it hard to believe that other guys would care if their gf looks like someone they've seen on telly.

Boney, toned, whatever. I'd prefer womans thighs to be noticably bigger than mine. With much less muscle, obviously. I don't care how thin thighs are in tv.

That's good That's the right attitude to have. There are guys that do care about such things sadly. Guys don't understand the potential damage they help cause when they start gushing about a hot model. HOWEVER, women are equally as responsible for their unhappiness. Women ask for it by asking stupid questions like, "Is she prettier than me?" "What do you think of that girl's boobs?" "Does this make me look fat?" etc.

Learning to be comfortable with your body means never feeling the need to seek approval from someone else.

A lot of women shoot themselves in the foot by not taking care of themselves either. They don't exercise, don't drink enough water, don't dress themselves properly, don't develop a good skincare routine. All of that stuff is important to me because it makes me feel good about myself. Not just so I can look good for my boyfriend.

[HeartIsAching]

first of all that's an incredibly sweet thing to
say about ur wife, lucky lady! Hope she knows that's what u think


yes I guess it is just insecurity. I'm ok looking, probably above average but I have my hang ups! My ex when we were together made me feel like the sexiest woman on earth. Then the last night we spent together we had a lighthearted chat about types and he said "tall, about 5'10", curvy, long dark hair, smouldering brown eyes". I remember saying oh I see, nothing like me then and he brushed it off. Well, turns out he'd met a girl on a dating site and she fits that description to a tee!! Bastard!!!!
The kelly brook thing was said to me by my ex hubby. But I know my exB fancies her too so she's kind of a guide to the type the two if them are attracted to. Makes me feel like shit to be honest. Like a short assed blonde nobody. I hate feeling this way!! What's weird is that my exB's ex wife is very like me physically, same height, hair colour, skin tone, build. So his description of his type seems a bit odd given that his previous two significant relationships have been with people unlike his suppposed ideal. Oh well......

Yes, she does know that. I tell her constantly how beautiful she is.

You need to quit asking men if you fit their type. Having a type doesn't preclude their being attracted to you. As I said, my wife isn't "my type", but I wouldn't trade her for any woman on the globe.

And from my perspective, Kelly Brook is too skinny... that woman needs to eat something.

[HeartIsAching]

Weird examlpe Why would anyone want to have thinner thighs? Assuming that they are average rather than a ball of fat.

I thought that it was women who compare themselves to these women in media. Do guys really compare women to them?

That's one of those weird insecurities that a lot of woman have that I believe was created by the media. My wife has beautifully shaped strong thighs, and I love them... but she she used to complain about them being too big. I suppose enough puzzled "What do you mean?"'s from me clarified it for her.

[JennaBella]

I think I have been a little misunderstood! I am actually quite happy with my body shape and general appearance. I was just upset that my ex felt it necessary to describe his "type" to me and it blatantly wasn't me!! I didn't and have never raised the type conversation with any of my ex partners. I guess I just assumed that because they were with me that I was in fact their type!
I personally am drawn to personality and my ex's are very diferent looking to one another. The only thing that's the same with them all is they've all been quite tall and all have strong arms. But that's where the similarities end! A guys intellect and attitude score more points with me than a six pack ever will lol.

[Yet another guy]

Guys don't date girls just because they're their type visually. Maybe your ex was simply attracted to your personality. Besides, as said, it's possible for a girl to be very attractive, even if she's not guys type.

Every girl prefers tall guys with strong arms. Yet short guys with thin arms have gf's too. Not everybody end up dating their ideal partner. In fact most people don't.

You didn't bring it up? Did he bring his type up just before dumping you? I'd expect he wanted to look like a deuchbag to make you let go easier when he dumps you. Or maybe he just is a deuchbag, who knows.

[Jarndyce]

I guess my question is, guys, if you have a "type" do you tend to stick to that or are you always on the look out for women who are more your type than the one you may be with at present? I appreciate this is all very superficial and there are other characteristics that attract people to each other.

I think everyone has a 'type' to some degree, but as ever it differs between men as to how much we adhere to the 'rules' of that type. I for instance normally like taller brunettes, in so far as physical characteristics go, but am currently pursuing a relationship with a shorter blonde, based almost entirely on a brief impression formed of her character and personality.

[pisces25]

Every girl prefers tall guys with strong arms.

Ahem. I don't.