Where are all the nice girls who don't mind being friends with benefits?

[ctr916]

Garbage you are spouting, Ctr.

You don't have to agree with me; simply explain how I am doing wrong by you.

And, for the record, I very much prefer a good fellatio from a cute chick to a good fallacy, any day of the week.

However, since you bring it up, who really is displaying some forms of cognitive dissonance regarding commitment phobia; if I am the one who is willing to commit to one thousands hours of relationship time, to any girl who claims she would like to get to know me in order to love me better; and be a girl friend with benefits.

Why are some women claiming they may not have what it takes to be a friend?

[DannyH]

True. But one night stands always have potential of becoming FWB. Until you never see/hear from him again. In that case, NEXT!

It's exactly that. Go to a bar look for a ONS make sure they are on the same page as you don't be selfish repeat. You do it right these women will be calling you. ok maybe not in your case but still.

[ctr916]

That's my point. You don't put out, I don't put out. Simple. I keep bringing in negative examples because MOST of the time, we get a poster on here (male or female) that got themselves into a FWB situation who is now upset because it didn't blossom into a full-blown, loving relationship. I've never seen FWB end happy except in movies.

I would agree with you if I were getting used for sex by all of the other girls; but since I am not, I really don't take any women seriously but in proportion to the amount of sex I am getting from them; unless they are entitled to an exemption.

What if a nice guy is willing to wear a condom? Simply helping us out and exercising some glands at the same time could be considered a benefit from a friends with benefits relationship. What are friends for if not to help out. What incentive is there for a nice guy who would like to enjoy full employment of resources in any given social transaction but for a petty cash fund for that purpose.

[ctr916]

I agree with you; but only during times of favorable market conditions. In my opinion, learning how to be a better friend with benefits is more cost effective in many situations.

[ctr916]

It's exactly that. Go to a bar look for a ONS make sure they are on the same page as you don't be selfish repeat. You do it right these women will be calling you. ok maybe not in your case but still.

I am still doing the Craigslist thing. Want to help me work on my rap? I have a thread on it already.

I would like to be on the same page with most chicks, simply for the sake of gender relations.

[MerryH]

I'm curious. How many girls have you had an actual friendly conversation with? This does not count women who have to speak to you, such as store clerks or women in your family. Just give an estimate of the number of girls who you've interacted with in the past year or so.

Thank you.

[lahnnabell]

What exactly do you mean by "nice" anyway? Like an honest, self-respecting woman? One that isn't sleeping with a different guy every night? Because those aren't mutually exclusive. Gonna go out on a limb and say that most women want some sort of relationship with a boyfriend, not just a fcuk friend. Women seem to run a bigger risk of getting attached to people they sleep with, so they tend to cut their losses by not engaging in relationships where the guy's only down for sex. Men seem a lot more capable of separating a committed, loving relationship from a basic sexual conquest.

My boyfriend made a good point, an open relationship is the ideal in between, but he said the terms have to be very clear-cut. In an OR both people spend the majority of their time together, but hold no hard feelings if the person chooses to fly solo every now and then. Most people aren't capable of this kind of arrangement. FWB tends to encompass two people having sex for fun, but outside of that they don't really spend time together. If/when they do spend additional time together, typically, one person starts to get attached and wants more than just the physical satisfaction. Either way, in FWB or OR, someone tends to get hurt which is why a lot of people don't even bother.

[ctr916]

I'm curious. How many girls have you had an actual friendly conversation with? This does not count women who have to speak to you, such as store clerks or women in your family. Just give an estimate of the number of girls who you've interacted with in the past year or so.

Thank you.

I have found that I tend to frequent markets less when I have less money to frequent them with. Otherwise, this would not be much of an issue for me.

[MerryH]

I have found that I tend to frequent markets less when I have less money to frequent them with. Otherwise, this would not be much of an issue for me.

So it's zero. You've spoken to zero women. This is a big problem. Go out and meet people and just try to be friendly. Do not offer massages or NSA sex. Just be normal.

[ctr916]

What exactly do you mean by "nice" anyway? Like an honest, self-respecting woman? One that isn't sleeping with a different guy every night? Because those aren't mutually exclusive. Gonna go out on a limb and say that most women want some sort of relationship with a boyfriend, not just a fcuk friend. Women seem to run a bigger risk of getting attached to people they sleep with, so they tend to cut their losses by not engaging in relationships where the guy's only down for sex. Men seem a lot more capable of separating a committed, loving relationship from a basic sexual conquest.

My boyfriend made a good point, an open relationship is the ideal in between, but he said the terms have to be very clear-cut. In an OR both people spend the majority of their time together, but hold no hard feelings if the person chooses to fly solo every now and then. Most people aren't capable of this kind of arrangement. FWB tends to encompass two people having sex for fun, but outside of that they don't really spend time together. If/when they do spend additional time together, typically, one person starts to get attached and wants more than just the physical satisfaction. Either way, in FWB or OR, someone tends to get hurt which is why a lot of people don't even bother.

What does anybody mean by "nice"? Let's assume for the sake of simplicity that nice means a person who tries to form relationships for goodness and not badness.

In my opinion, any self-respecting woman has objectives regarding some objective metrics to help her guide herself toward what she may want to obtain from life. What if a nice guy does not take women seriously about a relationship if girls are not using him for sex until he clamors for a relationship?

You make it seem like men and women do not know how to be friends; I prefer to do my own research since I do not subscribe to that system of beliefs.

It could depend on the hobbies or interests. Did I mention I am into full body massage for both fun and practice.

I am always willing to love a member of the sisterhood of woman.

[lahnnabell]

You make it seem like men and women do not know how to be friends; I prefer to do my own research since I do not subscribe to that system of beliefs.

There are a lot of people on this site that don't believe men and woman can truly be friends. I've talked to many who believe that men have ulterior motives to creating platonic friendships with women.

Even when I mention my platonic guy friends, someone always says, "You know those dudes still wanna bang you, right?"

[MaidenMinx]

In a lot of instances men and women can't be friends. I think they got it right when they talked about it in When Harry Met Sally.

I personally am one of those people that literally can not have too many friends, I find it overwhelming. I have my hubby and my family and one best friend who is basically part of the family. Other than that most of the people I know are male but the only one that is comfortable hanging around when hubby isn't home is gay. If guys and gals can be friends with no problems, why do none of my hetero male friends feel comfortable hanging out when hubby is not home? It could just be that I am a terrible conversationalist...

[lahnnabell]

I agree with Maiden. I only end up hanging out with any of my guy friends for a brief chat over coffee or lunch, and then we part ways. I don't have the type of friendships with them where we text all the time, or spend hours hanging out. That's why I have my boyfriend and my girlfriends. It'd be super inappropriate to indulge those kinds of friendships while my boyfriend in my life. He's priority and I don't ever want him to feel otherwise.

[DannyH]

Eh yeah for the most part men and women can't be friends but there will always be the exceptions. A few women in my life are to me more of like sisters then friends. The way we act even my most recent girl thinks we are bro and sis. Can't even look at her in a sexual way used to long time ago but now it would feel like screwing around with my sister lol

[smackie9]

In a lot of instances men and women can't be friends. I think they got it right when they talked about it in When Harry Met Sally.

I personally am one of those people that literally can not have too many friends, I find it overwhelming. I have my hubby and my family and one best friend who is basically part of the family. Other than that most of the people I know are male but the only one that is comfortable hanging around when hubby isn't home is gay. If guys and gals can be friends with no problems, why do none of my hetero male friends feel comfortable hanging out when hubby is not home? It could just be that I am a terrible conversationalist...

It is not appropriate.