Where are all the nice girls who don't mind being friends with benefits?

[lahnnabell]

I don't have much respect for people who expect to be compensated for letting someone take care of their satisfaction. Not any more than I do for those who expect to be compensated for taking care of others satisfaction (whores).
Neither do I have much respect for people who take advantage of shy people.

My line of thinking is if a guy wants to screw me, then he better be offering up something in return. This is a personal choice because of the fact that I'm not an easy-to-get-off girl. I enjoy sex anyway, but not to its fullest advantage. More often than not these guys are mediocre to terrible lays because they're incredibly selfish. They start to get frustrated when I don't get off in 10 minutes after they start humping. I don't blame theme entirely. They have a lot of preconceived notions about sex that just aren't true. Most of it they've learned from porn or girlfriends who pretended these guys were the best lays in history just to save their egos.

I don't take advantage of my guy friends. I'm perfectly happy to exchange massages with them, or hang out with them, pay for dinner or split the bill. What I meant was that I can often have a better, fulfilling friendship with a platonic guy friend than I can have with a FWB. FWB is a deal, an arrangement. Remember when I said I separate my FWB from my platonic friends? If a platonic friend of mine decided he wanted to jump by bones and got the courage to do it, the relationship would then change and I would never be able to treat him like a platonic buddy anymore. Sex changes things for me. Either a guy can be comfortable with how I handle that, or he can find someone who can give him what he really wants.

[Yet another guy]

More often than not these guys are mediocre to terrible lays because they're incredibly selfish.

And you're feeding their attitude by making them to compensate for the sex. If they've already "paid" for it, it's only fair that their satisfaction comes first, right? By expecting compensation, you attract and are pretty much limited to such deuchbags.

Most of it they've learned from porn or girlfriends who pretended these guys were the best lays in history just to save their egos.

Not being open about sex, root of many problems

[lahnnabell]

And you're feeding their attitude by making them to compensate for the sex. If they've already "paid" for it, it's only fair that their satisfaction comes first, right? By expecting compensation, you attract and are pretty much limited to such deuchbags.

If the reason they approached me in the first place was for sex, why shouldn't they have to offer something in advance? A smart, discerning woman always knows when a man desires her, the rest just play dumb to be cute. More often than not these guys looking for an easy lay situation don't have the skill set to keep a relationship together, which is why they go searching for an easier route. If I'm looking to have an itch scratched, I'll oblige. I'll even drive myself over to their apartments (and San Diego is not an easy county to traverse in terms of mileage). Makes it sweeter if they wanna offer some sort of compensation. Not saying I accept cash, 'cause I'm not that sort of whore. Like I said, a guy goes looking for a whore/FWB/easy lay, he'll get one. And I like sex. So, it's a win-win really. I'm just smarter about it than most women. Any woman involved in FWB that's not getting directly compensated (via orgasm, food, alcohol, whatever she wants) is filling an emotional void that no guy will ever fix by f*cking her brains out. If she's able to get off from the experience, then good for her! I wish I had that luxury, but alas, I need to be emotionally connected to feel comfortable enough to have an orgasm.

I'm open about sex to those who really put the time into getting to know me. My boyfriend, for instance, took the time to learn about who I am. We had long conversations about topics we both liked and he laughed together. That means more to me than anything else, and that's what makes sex outstanding for me. The emotional connection. Can I still get an itch scratched from a FWB? Sure. But I'll save the really good stuff for the guy who's truly earned it.

[Yet another guy]

They do offer something in advance. Sex. It's a two way thing. Unless you're offering them a bj or something in which case sure, make them buy something for you if you wish, I won't judge.

[MaidenMinx]

Makes it sweeter if they wanna offer some sort of compensation. Not saying I accept cash, 'cause I'm not that sort of whore.

This made me lol.

[lahnnabell]

Most guys that hit up a woman for FWB or to hook up are not looking for a fulfilling friendship. He's looking for a "let's bang then you go home" deal. The LEAST a girl can do is get something in return for being treated like a masturbation tool. I've never been with an easy-lay guy that was concerned about the woman's orgasm. Ideally, yes, sex is a two way thing. But sadly I meet many men who don't have the skills to back up all the talk. Having Godzilla's dick actually probably does you men more justice in the locker room than it ever does with a lady. (not saying size doesn't matter, 'cause it does to a point)

As I said before, I don't get off on NSA sex. I need the emotional connection. I do still have fun when I have sex, but it's never as fulfilling as it is when I'm connected to the person in a deeper way. We see it here all the time on the forums. Girls come crying that hey slept with some "great guy" who treated her so well at first. Then whenever he wants to get back in her pants, he starts pulling out all the charm again. Then they come back crying some more, "I really liked him and I feel so used!" Well, that's cause you allowed him to confuse you. Quit playing dumb and be smarter. If a guy is into you for who you are, then he can wait for it.

[lahnnabell]

Haha, this is why I don't get laid much as a single woman. Guys don't really like that I play the game better than they do

[lahnnabell]

They do offer something in advance. Sex. It's a two way thing. Unless you're offering them a bj or something in which case sure, make them buy something for you if you wish, I won't judge.

Sex, BJ, c** on my t***... They're getting off, aren't they?

[MaidenMinx]

Haha, this is why I don't get laid much as a single woman. Guys don't really like that I play the game better than they do

Or they don't like that you carry on like a "not that type of whore"?

Seriously, if you are without regular cock, scratch your own itch. Bonus being you should be able to make yourself orgasm.

Your vagina is not a bartering tool.

[lahnnabell]

Or they don't like that you carry on like a "not that type of whore"?

Seriously, if you are without regular cock, scratch your own itch. Bonus being you should be able to make yourself orgasm.

Your vagina is not a bartering tool.

Neither is a guy's dick, but they attempt it all the time. They actually expect that a woman's just gonna fall to her knees the moment he says he wants to do her? And then when she expects him to do a little work and take her out before she'll sleep with him, he loses interest and moves onto whoever he thinks is easier?

I tend to prefer to scratch, but sometimes it's more fun when someone else is involved. And I'm not saying I go turning tricks on the corner. I'm talking about men that proposition me, but like I said, I don't get laid as much when I'm single

[qwertz]

I had a fwb type relationship with a guy once, it was fun, but we were friends first, i dont think a fwb can happen when you actively go looking for it..thats when it usually become fcuk buddies (ie. wham bam thankyou maam, cya next time kind of thing).

I should also add that i had commitment issues, thats the only reason i wanted fwb and nothing more.

[lahnnabell]

I had a fwb type relationship with a guy once, it was fun, but we were friends first, i dont think a fwb can happen when you actively go looking for it..thats when it usually become fcuk buddies (ie. wham bam thankyou maam, cya next time kind of thing).

I should also add that i had commitment issues, thats the only reason i wanted fwb and nothing more.

That's really the only reason I'd take someone up on FWB, is if it was nothing more than that. I'm not going to play dumb and pretend the guy loves me just because he's screwing me. And I equate FWB and fcuk buddies as one in the same. Interesting that there's a difference of interpretation based on the phrasing! Ahhh, language.

[lahnnabell]

So, am I right in assuming that everybody seems cool with the fact that men can go around collecting FWB, but women can't without being called whores? Why is this so different? I'm really curious as to what everyone thinks.

So, let's say a guy approaches me with the intention of hooking up. I'm thinkin', "He looks pretty good. I could go for some fun tonight. Pretty sure he won't call again, but hey, sounds fun." Guy's gotta at least buy me a drink or somethin'. I've never heard of a man taking on the role of the attentive lover (one that's gonna rock my world by giving me an orgasm, not just by having jackrabbit sex) during a one-night stand or FWB hook up. Those two situations (to me) exist for convenience. I wouldn't dream of finding true love with some guy propositioning me in a bar/club.

[MaidenMinx]

Actually, you called yourself a whore. :p

And yes this double standard will always exist. Why? For the simple fact that women get pregnant. Men don't.

Also, back in my promiscuous days I actually had some of my most amazing experiences with one night stands. Before you call me a hypocrite, it took me a while to learn how destructive to ones overall sense of self being promiscuous can be. And because of this I think it is never a good idea to encourage women to be promiscuous. Just my 2 cents worth.

[lahnnabell]

I wasn't talking about myself in particular. Seems to be the general consensus though. Women who are comfortable with casual sex are whores. Why does this double standard exist because woman can get pregnant? Because they could become pregnant with a baby by a man they barely know? Men father children with women they barely know all the time. Same difference. Only the woman gets stuck raising the child unless she chooses to have an abortion. Either way, her getting pregnant was just as much her fault as it was the dad's. This is where sexual education comes in.

Promiscuity can be very destructive. I'm not specifically talking about rampant promiscuity where girls should go out and sleep with whoever gives them a dollar. You can still afford to be choosy about who you spend your time with. You just can't wreak of desperation and offer yourself to whoever wants a piece. Many guys will take anything they can get. Women have the luxury of choice far more than men do.