should i still be thinking about him and what does he want anyways?

[iamminzy]

Should it even be worth it to date someone who says they don't have time to wait for me just because i said I might be able to move out of my house within a year of our relationship? I keep dreaming about him and it's not making me happy. I keep thinking about him when I am not with him or when I see his pictures or when he's online. But I just shrub it off and try to move on. Now he is with someone else and I am still trying my best to shrub it off.

Last month he said that he likes me the most then couple weeks later, he says he dating someone else and had one of the best dates with her. he said he will continue to see her and now he is with her and deleted his online dating site account. My friend thinks he won't make me feel emotionally secure and I guess I worry too much.

But how can I just forget about him and move on? I can't withstand this any longer. I tried so hard to forget about him but it's not going away. I hate it when I dreamed about him and I realized that it didn't go away.... and that i still miss him. It's everytime I have a dream about him, it starts acting up...

When I think about it, he's insecure and doesn't want to waste time on a girl that doesn't give him what he wants. He broke up with his ex because she didn't want children and didn't discuss why she didn't want it or why she was afraid of pain and labor. If you love someone shouldn't you try to make them feel secure and comfortable? When I said I probably cannot move in with him so fast even though its a year from now, he said he can't wait.

However, he suddenly comes stepping in my door and handing me a present, says he likes me the most, and continues to talk to me. Sometimes I don't know if he does miss me or not, but as of right now I don't think he does because he got someone else. He still talks to me and ask me what I am up to, if I am dating any other guys, he asked me to go on a trip with him 2 weeks ago with his friends while he was dating that other girl.

What the heck does he want from me? You don't know how much I wanna tell him I miss him and tell him why I am insecure about moving in with him and how I feel about him. Should I still tell him? Tell him the truth about how I feel or should I let it be? If I let it be, and I dream about him then I keep thinking about him and feel sad. I cannot control my dreams. My dreams are telling me something and the truth about how I feel about him.

I really need to get this out of my chest, but I am scared...

[iamminzy]

Also when I told him I dated this guy, he started asking many questions about him and asked me about him today... Maybe that's why he found him someone new lol? o.0 I actually never seen him before, i just said we're just gonna watch a movie, but never happened lol

Not to mention he looked up my name online and he found my address and phone number on there couple weeks ago... he knows where i live, but I found it strange that he is doing this while he is with that girl now.

[julinneray]

If he is dating someone else..don't even waste your time on him..forget about him and move on with ur life or else you might end up being hurt. Also try not to do much that reminds you him like looking at his pics or reading his old emails and text messages. Life is fair and one day you will find a man who cares about you and is willing to wait for you for as long as it takes. Take care of yourself first before you take care of him

[iamminzy]

Thank you Julinneray. Yes I should not think about him too much, but he keeps popping in my dreams and that I cannot control, but I am trying really hard to shrub it all off and think he was just all a dream. I am going to talk to my guy friends about what I should do and get direct feedback. Thanks!

[devonbrown]

It sounds like he is trying to keep you on the hook as a potential "just in case" person. Or he is trying to butter you up to be the girl he cheats on his girlfriend with. Don't fall for that.

As for your dreams, you can't control them, so ignore them. They could just be thoughts being flushed out by your brain at the end of the day and not mean anything anyway.

Just concentrate on yourself and things that make you happy. Don't spend time on things that you don't enjoy. It really can be that simple.

Good luck.

[julinneray]

trust me with time it will all pass...if a guy is disrespecting you like this..he deserves no second chance. This guy is going to take advantage of your emotions and build his ego around them if you let him. There so many guys out there and you just have to find the one for you. if a guy does this sort of thing, just know he is a commitment phobic and he just goes with whoever will do what he wants and i think you deserve way much better than that. Friends ( people) will have different opinions based on that they know or hear but its up to you to make the right decision because this is your relationship and its up to you to either go on with it or to move on and find one who is going to treat you the way you want to be treated. Ps. I have a feeling that you are still having dreams about him because you are still attached to him but if you give yourself enough space, you will not feel this way anymore and i am sure you will have no regrets for doing so. Time heals.

[iamminzy]

@ devonbrown: I think he is keeping me as a backup just in case something happens he can turn to another girl. he said I was at the top of his list and I find that strange... like if he finds someone better, i will be at the bottom, so I didn't really like that idea. eh o well, whoever that girl is with him sucks to be her...

@Julinneray: well he was with his ex for 4 years, but when she couldn't give hiim what he wants which was children, he broke up with her... and said that she was bland and lost feelings for her. I guess you are right, when he didn't receieve what he wanted, he runs from it rather than dealing with it. He told me that this girl told him that he didn't love her as much. I can't believe his ex was with him for that long. I;m guessing she was insecure and couldn't find another guy...

Thank God I never really made i official with him because there just something I couldn't trust about him

1. He is dating other girls while dating me; not one but multiple girls and telling me how it went and about why he doesn't want to date them again and says he likes me more..
2. He ignored me for 2 days with no contact until I sent him a rashing message and told him to grow up and be mature. If he likes me, he shouldn't even do that.
3. I was foolish I forgave him, and it probably gave him the idea I was easily manipulated... I remember I told him I need to go to my club's bbq, but he keep asking me to go out with his friends for a picnic day at a university.
4. I kept making out with him and he tells me he gets horny which makes me feel like he only wants to excited.
5. He promised he will call when he was in Hawaii, but never did. Made me wait like a fool. His excuse was it cost money, and said he did tried to call me once. He only called me for directions cuz I asked his friend if he called him and he said he did and he called for directions...
6. He is not willing to wait or ask me what I think or feel.

I guess I don't deserve this because like my friend said he might not make me feel emotionally secure.... and plus he is 1 hour away from me. Who knows what he will do.

[julinneray]

I am so glad you have figured it out because I am sure what he did to his ex, he will definitely do to you. Also the fact that he is dating other girls and telling you about shows that he is taking you for granted and knows that even though he goes out and whores around, you will still be there for him. It also shows that he is looking for something else some where that may be you don't have. All these are clear signals for you leave him and forget about him. I also agree with Devonbrown and I have read a few posts of his..he really gives great advise. De-attach yourself from him and find someone new before its too late.