3 years together and a 2 year old son....im lost

[cggirl87]

I've been with my boyfriend for three years and we have a two year old son together. We where actually good friends before we got into a relationship for almost two years. Our first year together was perfect. We never argued,had disagreements or anything it was almost perfect. The second year after my son was born the problems begin to arise. It all begin when my boyfriend and family got into a big argument at a family event. A few months later my boyfriend and father got into a argument. Afterwards it caused alot of hostility between me and him but we made it through. Well last year I noticed my boyfriend was acting different. I begin to suspect that he might be cheating but brushed it off because I didnt think he would do that to me. Well months passed and I kept seeing signs. So oneday I decided to snoop through his phone while he was sleep. I saw text messages from a girl and I decided to call her. I asked the girl if she had been seeing my bf. She admitted that they had been talking for months and had slept together a few times. I was devestated because I had been 100% faithful. To make a long story short I confronted him about it and he pleaded for me to stay with him. Well I stayed with him and he acted like a perfect guy for a few days; but soon after he went back to his old attitude. He was hanging out late, he wouldnt always anwser when I would call and sometimes have an attitude. In my opinion a cheater should try to act perfect after getting caught up but he was acting like he had me back, I wasnt going anywhere and he could do whatever he wanted. Oneday I decided to check out his phone again while he was sleeping. To my surprise I saw text messages from the same girl. This time they where talking about going to the movies. I confronted him again and this time he got angry because I was snooping through his things. I couldnt believe he had the nerve but I stayed with him. Although, I really didnt trust him anymore and it seemed like he really didnt care about our relationship. His attitude continued to stay the same and his affection towards be begin to decrease. I started to feel like a "friend with benefits" in a relationship. I tried talking to him and he would get angry. He told me one time to go find another man that could please me. My boyfriend was treating me like crap at the time. I was at lost and decided that I was going to start talking to other guys because obviously he wasnt being all about me. I joined a free online dating site because I was lonely. I started chatting with a few guys and they where coming at me left and right. I exchanged numbers with a few but one in particular caught my eye. We talked a few times but he eventually wanted to meet up with me. Of course I was skeptical but I did and soon after we begin meeting up. We went out once because I was nervous about someone seeing me out with another guy because I was still in a relationship with my boyfriend. Me and my boyfriend where still together almost everyyday but I had stopped showing interest in his whereabouts. A few months passed and the other guy started to get more touchy feely with me but on one occasion he tried to have sex. I turned him down because I felt uncomfortable but on another occasion we did have sex. It was very awkward and I couldnt believe I had gone that far. Afterwards, I started to avoid him because I obviously didnt want to finish what I had started. We remained friends but I stopped meeting up with him and eventually ended our five month fling. Soon after I ran into an old friend from years ago. We had been good friends but never did anything sexually unitl one night we hung out, had a few drinks and had sex for a few seconds because I stopped him. I ended things with him too and decided not to talk to anyone else for a while. I felt like I was leading these guys on and didnt want to continue anything sexual with them. I kept my online account but wasnt active on it for months until me and my boyfriend got into another huge argument. He called me out of my name and everything. I was hurt and went on the site and met two more guys. We talked but nothing happend. Well in June a family member saw my profile and confronted my boyfriend. He confronted me and I admitted to it because he begged me to be honest about everything and I confessed to sleeping with the two guys one time. He said some real mean things to me and I cried and pleaded for forgiveness. Its been about three weeks since he discovered I had been cheating. We decided to stay together but it hasnt been easy. The first week he created a profile on the same site and gave a whole bunch of girls his number. He went out with them and did everything to make me feel bad. He even told them about our situation and of course they told him he should drop me because they would never do such a thing. Well now he claims to be cutting them off because he wants to work it out with me but the girls are still calling and texting him. However, for the past two weeks he's constantly been bringing up me cheating and has even accused me of sleeping with the two guys multiple times. I slept with both of them once because I felt bad but he dosent believe me. He's been making me feel horrible by saying stuff like a lady would never do that. "Why would I want to marry a girl that sleeps with two men while she's in a relationship?" but he slept with a girl several times while we where together!!!!!!! He's told all of his friends and family. I could see him telling his friends but not his family. I dont know what to do. I know it was wrong for me to cheat instead of just getting out the relationship and I learned from that mistake; but my boyfriend is so arrogant because he cant seem to understand that he was wrong too. I think that since we've both lied, betrayed and hurt eachother then why cant we finally get it right. Im 24 and he 26 where both young and people do dumb stuff when their young especially when it comes to a relationship. He told me that it bothers him so bad because he thought I was different and he know he was acting like a jerk but he knew since day one he wanted to marry me someday. I do want to get married and have more children. I've been trying so hard. I told every guy not to call me again, I give him my phone everytime where together and I've even stopped hanging out. I've been asking him to be open with me but he's snooping around now. I cant touch his phone without him jumping up to see what Im doing. He claims he's not trying to get payback but if thats the case why is he acting this way.I even planned us a vacation and have already made reservations but it isnt enough for him. In spite of my actions Im a good girl. I work two jobs, go to school and my boyfriend is just starting to get his life on track. I've supported him most of the entire relationship but he cant see that. He can only see my mistakes. What should I do? I need advice ASAP!!!!

[surfhb]

Intresting how we give every exact detail when it comes to love issues? Could we get the short version possibly?

[cggirl87]

Sorry for the long story but you need every detail to give a person proper advice....Short story my bf of three years cheated on me because we where going through issues with him and my family having difference. I caught him cheating after six months and took him back. Two months later I continued to see text messages from the same girl he cheated on me with and other females. I confronted him, he got angry and denied he was still fooling around. However, a person want contact you if you cut off all communication with them. I took him back but he started to treat me like crap instead of better. He constantly had an attitude,showed me no affection, and continued to be secretive about his phone. Instead of breaking up with him I cheated. He found out and now he is making me feel like the worst woman in the world. He says its different because Im a female. Its not right for a man or woman to cheat.

[VincenzoG91]

I don't understand why you and this guy are pretending that there is still a relationship. You both obviously want to be single so you can see other people. Just do that, after ending this sick joke of a relationship.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You both are just retarded, and actually perfect for each other. I think you should give your son up for adoption, you and your boyfriend should each get fixed, and then continue living your lives as is.

[cggirl87]

The rude comment was unessecary. Im seeking advice not ignorant comments.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

What do you want out of this situation?

[surfhb]

You both are just retarded, and actually perfect for each other. I think you should give your son up for adoption, you and your boyfriend should each get fixed, and then continue living your lives as is.

Thats an understatement!! Ok... I read the whole thing too. Funny, but there's not one word about a 2 yr old little child In your dissertation? Why? This guys a jerk and you handled the situation badly. What advice do you want other than: give me your child and you both need a long trip on the small buss to the funny farm somewhere.

Seriously. Your post deserves top post in the patheti ccategory....even for this site.