my boyfriend's friend

[sammi_xxx]

Okay so my boyfriend has this friend, this is going to sound stupid but I don't care because it really bothers me who basically doesn't know I exist. I'm the kind of girl who likes to get involved with my partner's friends, not all the time because that wouldn't be a good relationship but occasionally. I have confronted my boyfriend about this and all he said was he doesn't hang out with girls, but yet he has a fiance so that is rubbish! and also he knows I am controlling but i am sorting that out and that is no reason not to get me involved It just gets me down when he gets invited out and I don't. I can't talk to him about this anymore because he accuses me of being jealous and gets angry about it so I have to either just get over it or get over it. He says I don't make any effort with them when I am not the type to just start making a convo with someone because I am shy. My boyfriend has always been involved some way with my friends. What kind of girlfriend doesn't get along with her boyfriend's friends. Anyone else been in this situation..? Any advice?

[lahnnabell]

I'm not sure what you want here. You want your boyfriend to talk to his friend for you or about you? Is he even close with this friend of his?

[sammi_xxx]

he is very close, and apparently he has talked to him for me. I want to get involved with some of the stuff they do

[lahnnabell]

Okay, so this friend does know you exist. Why do you need to get involved with their friendship? Does this guy's fiancee join them in the stuff they do? I've read your other post and I just have a suspicion that you're attempting to be controlling in this instance too. Your boyfriend does need a few areas of his life that don't directly related to you.

[steviej]

Your boyfriend's friend doesn't want you around because you're controlling. I bet your bf doesn't see this friend anywhere near as much as he used to, so when he does get to hang out with him the last thing he wants is you there!

Let your bf have his time alone with his mates, it's not healthy to always have your other half there.

[sammi_xxx]

I understand that, and I let him see him all the time. His fiance does. I did mention in my post it would be nice if occasionally i got invited to get to know him better.

[sammi_xxx]

Okay thankyou for both replies

[lahnnabell]

I'm willing to bet that his friend's fiancee doesn't have the bad reputation that you've earned by being controlling and selfish with your boyfriend. That's probably why she's invited to more play dates. Sorry to be blunt about it, but the faster you realize your negative attitude is getting you no where, the better off you'll be.

[sammi_xxx]

I know and I am trying to change all that, I'm trying to prove to my boyfriend I am not controlling etc...

[lahnnabell]

Well, start by letting your boyfriend off this ridiculous leash you have him on. He shouldn't be forced to answer to you. The longer you keep pulling on him like this, the faster you push him away.

Don't just do this for him. Do it for you. Do it because you want to be a better person for anyone that enters your life. If you really such deeply rooted fears that it causes you anxiety to give him freedom, you need to look into counseling.

[sammi_xxx]

Okay thank you so much for your advice