Are we at a stand still?

[harleynight]

I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months now, still have not met each other's family. Every time I try, he always has an excuse. He's met my kids, but that's it. I have a feeling he's scared of commitment, I've told him I love him and tell him often, but he hasn't said it yet, which is fine, I don't want him to say it, if he doesn't feel it. I'm just scared we're at a stand still. How can I find out if we are?

Thanks.

[surfhb]

Ask him "are we at a stand still"?

[smackie9]

He might be insecure what you will think of his family, or worried what they will think of you......or he is married and he's been living a double life.

[harleynight]

I'm not worried of him being married. We were introduced by my sister-in-law's brother that I've known for about 25 years and he knew him for 4 years. Co-workers and he lives with his elderly parents, so I'm thinking it might be that. I'm really not sure. But thanks for being brutally honest.

[smackie9]

It can be difficult to give proper advice with limited info for sure lol. The only way to resolve this is to have an open and honest discussion with him about it. Maybe with some supportive talk he will ease up. I can see how he could be worried what you might think of his living situation. He may feel torn, because he doesn't want to abandon them if the relationship gets serious and you want him to move in with you, etc, so instead he just drags his heels. He could just need some reassurance from an understanding heart.

[Mathias]

Yeah, we're going to need more information.

I'm sure you've brought this up. What has he hinted at? He'll tell you if you bug him enough.

[harleynight]

Well he won't be abandoning them, as he is buying their house but they will keep staying there. But I think what it is, is that his last relationship really did a number on him and I think it scares him to get in another relationship even though he was single for 4 years. I guess I'll just have to have a talk with him.