How to initiate, i feel too shy!

[cmaree]

Hello Everyone,

I have always been a quiet, some may say shy person. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months and I have initiated sex only a few times. I feel reallt bad because I would like to start it more. I just get very nervous... I guess so nervous that I dont do anything. I would like to feel comfortable in expressing myself but for some reason I find it difficult....... Please Help!

[Jackscompass]

have you told him this? you may find that by telling him, youll be less nervous. I was always very nervous with my first gf. i though i had a 'problem'...then i spoke to her, she was very understanding and from that very moment on, no more problems for me!

he will be understanding because all guys like to talk about sex, espec if his gf is talking about wanting to initiate it more! ...in fact this will prob make him crazy with lust for you! youll be fine!

[namesarehard]

Definitely start initiating, good chance he feels like he is harassing you sometimes if you never do. Next time you want to, just repeat to yourself 3 times, 'he is a guy, he wants where this is going', because, well, he almost definitely does. No need at all to be nervous! If you are unsure how, just go off the deep and give him a lil pat....you initiated, he will get the idea and escalate for you pretty quick I bet!

[Hollowfox]

I would say, don't pressure yourself or feel guilty, because it will only make you more nervous and the more nervous you get, the more you'll associated it with negative feelings and of course the more nervous you'll get hte next time up to the point of utter freezing and clamming up.
Sit you bf down, tell him that you are aware that you don't initiate very often and that you really appreciated that he does. This way he knows what's going on and doesn't feel like harassing you as namesarehard said and he maybe help you in the future to take all pressure off. In cases like this communication is key. If you keep this to yourself, the anxiety will only rise.

[kinks]

You've gotta feel comfortable around your bf to want to start initiating sex. Don't you get like those feelings, where you really want him and can't help but be all over him? :p I don't know but I always thought that your SO would be the person you can be most comfortable with and not so shy.

[Dank]

You've done the hardest part in meeting him... lol whats so nervous after 8 months of sex

[ramramita]

Dont get shy.he is the person withwhom you are going to spend your life,whatever you do,he will love it

[bulrush]

First, how old are you?

Second, a good bf will listen to your feelings. Even if he doesn't understand them, he will still respect your feelings. You will know if you have a good bf if you two can talk about anything, including sex, what you want during sex, how you want it, and details like that without fearing rejection.

The other thing is, to get over being nervous, practice practice practice. A speech class where I spoke to the whole class, really helped me get over my shyness. I was shy in high school and I did feel like I was asking too much of the girl by asking for sex each time I saw her on a date (about once a week). So I rarely asked.

[Beautyw6737]

It's ok. Just let him know that you are nervous about it. If he understands then he is a great guy.

Try challenging yourself when you feel nervous. Make bets against yourself. Or just count mentally to three and go for it.

[Andariel]

This is normal since you are new to having sex and you are generally shy. The easiest thing to do is just to talk about it with your boyfriend. Just say you find him very attractive and that you'd like to feel more confident about initiating sex too but you are a bit shy. I'm sure he will be very understanding and happy to help! :-)

[bulrush]

Maybe you don't have to initiate sex. How about you just talk about it. That should get him turned on enough for HIM to start things going.

[moosegal]

have you told him this? you may find that by telling him, youll be less nervous. I was always very nervous with my first gf. i though i had a 'problem'...then i spoke to her, she was very understanding and from that very moment on, no more problems for me!

he will be understanding because all guys like to talk about sex, espec if his gf is talking about wanting to initiate it more! ...in fact this will prob make him crazy with lust for you! youll be fine!

Great advice ...

[ladiesfirst]

Yes--great advice! Tell him how you feel about this (I know it will be hard to), but I'm sure he'll understand. If this means more sex for him, he'll thank you for bringing it up!

[vashti]

Maybe you don't have to initiate sex. How about you just talk about it. That should get him turned on enough for HIM to start things going.

Agreed. Not all men want a woman to initiate (though a lot do). He likes you because of who you are (a shy girl!).

Just tell him: I know I don't initiate because I feel so shy, but I want you to know that I really appreciate that you do, because I really DO want you and crave your touch. I just don't know how to show it yet.

I don't think you could go wrong.

[ineedhelpnow]

Be in the "moment". Be comfortable. Just relax. Let her feel relaxed bro and talk to her that's it