Different generation couples - can it work for a while?

[ianoulla]

Sorry for the length of this, but it's complex. I am an older woman, last year after being pursued for 3 yrs by a much younger married man, I had my heart broken and since then have been trying to get my life back to normal. I knew it wasn't going to be a forever thing, but it seemed natural, I still feel great love and affection for him. I have been married for a lifetime, never had an affair, but my husband is an alcoholic and doesn't want me anymore, I have tried everything to help him, but it's all too late now. Since I broke up with the younger man, I have been pursued by a variety of younger men, who don't seem to realise how old I am. Of course I am not looking for casual sex, but love. I was flattered and found it funny, but through a series of strange occurrences, a vv young man, who is about to start his studies to be a doctor says he has fallen in love with me. I was flattered for a while, but in the end I agreed to meet him alone to make him realise the vast age difference and his pursuit had to stop. But it didn't have this affect. For 6 months he has been calling me, when he first called me, I mistakenly thought he was the man I had fallen in love with, and fell back under his spell only to discover it wasn't him. So we got caught up in this strange, beguiling mystery. He was a stranger, now he isn't. He says I am in his head, he desires me, knows we are from different times but he is drawn to me. I have never ever in my life fantasised about younger men, but this one is beautiful, intense, sweet, but I know of course driven by sexual desires. But something in my heart says yes. Would this be so terrible?

[LittleMel]

Well we only live once, and if you can forget about the age difference, as it's plain to see he doesn't see you as a 'number' then I would say go with the flow and see how it goes, but, if maybe it doesn't work out after a time together you may get down by thinking it was to do with your age and this might knock you for six, but this is just surmise, I would just go with how you feel inside.

[DannyH]

Age really doesn't matter. It's more of a where they are in life sort of thing. Less about age and more about direction in life if two people are on the same page it can work regardless of age. Well unless your patrolling the high school with a ps3 and beer

[DarkHelmet82]

i used to think age didnt matter.. I dated two 23 year olds back to back (im 29). As much as they claimed they were mature, they just didtn know what they wanted where I did.

My point is at certain age brackets people tend to want different things.

[DannyH]

i used to think age didnt matter.. I dated two 23 year olds back to back (im 29). As much as they claimed they were mature, they just didtn know what they wanted where I did.

My point is at certain age brackets people tend to want different things.

Hence my whole on the same page thing. It really is a rarity but it does happen

[Dark_Seeker]

We need to be loved.

[poathomson]

If you feel you would be happy this way go ahead with it. For me I am still young but age if it is within 10 years older then me it doesnt matter, love is love without a number, even in a case as yours with a big age difference, just try to look past it.

[deepika_16]

I guess, love doesn't mind any age difference and different generation couple can be possible for a [URL="http://www.myboyisanidiot.com"]longer relationship[/URL]. This is all about feelings and understandings. If you buddies are enough comfortable with each other then there is nothing to worry and act natural. I think 6 months is a really long time in this busy world! Someone spent his life without you expecting you. I believe you are matured enough to study mind and so you can only make the perfect decision. I wish for your heaven life.

[ianoulla]

Thank you for all your thoughtful comments, it's nice to know that old attitudes are changing towards relationships, which have always been prejudiced against older women younger men. I know I am still getting over a broken heart, and realise the man I fell for just got me hooked on dangerous games, new to me. This unusual situation has arisen, now this young man is no longer a stranger, he has persisted. I am thousands of miles away from him at the moment, he is still pursuing me. It would seem life is short, that the chance to love and be loved for a while is a gift, I know many people who are lonely and without love, so how lucky am I. Once upon a time I would have looked for a commitment, I don't want that anymore. I have never looked at younger men, what do we have in common. But sometimes magic happens.....I would be a fool to turn away, but I will keep thinking and go with the flow as I have. We tried to stop talking to each other, but he always comes back saying, I will make you forget this other man, I will take care of you and love you. He has taken my mind off him and started to fascinate me, but I don't want to mess his life up or mine..... we could never go out in public in a small community in another country with different social rules, it would cause outrage, I would never be able to live there or work there again. Thank you again.....

[oldskool83]

dated a girl for 2 years who was 9 years older then me, we never noticed age differance i had had more shit more togther then her. i was 25 she was 36.

[ianoulla]

yes sometimes younger people can be mature through their experiences and older people like me, only have a little experience being with 1 person for so long and a fairly settled life. Though I am older, I feel young inside, maybe that's why when we talk we're wanting the same thing, to be loved. But my worry is he's a thrill seeker, wanting forbidden fruit, which I very much am and now I am fond of him and drawn to him, it would be a shame if he was to pursue this idea throughout his life because it's shortlived and empty in the end. I realise now the man I fell for was, wanting new and exciting thrills every day. He enjoyed chasing me for 3 yrs just to get me to meet and have a cup of coffee, enjoying the chase. But real life isn't like that is it. Who lives with 1 thrill following another? Thanks for your comments.