Me and my ex haven't spoken in 2 weeks? is it completely over?

[numero_uno]

Hello all,

My ex girlfriend broke up with me two weeks ago, we had been going out for 2 years and she ended it by text. Her reason for ending it was because she thought it wasn't working (although this was the first i had heard that she wasn't happy).

I like to think that i was quite relaxed in the relationship, i never stopped her from going out, was never checking up on her and I always let her do her own thing. On top on this i always treated her well, took her to nice restaurants and made her feel special whenever i could.

She is currently at uni, and before she came to uni we maintained a long distance relationship and she decided to come to uni so that we could be closer to each other.

After i received the text saying that she thought things weren't good I replied saying I felt the same (in an attempt to call her bluff). Since this moment we haven't met up with each other or engaged in conversation. This happened two weeks ago.

A week after the split I received a text from my ex saying that ..... she is sorry over the way she went about ending the relationship but thats all she can say, she said that she still cares for me and that its a HUGE change me not being in her life and that she hopes one day I can forgive her and we could maybe not be friends but at least on talking terms. I decided not to reply to this text because my instincts tell me that she has found someone else and getting involved in conversation will prove this.

My heart tells me that i want to get her back but my head is telling me to leave it and what's happening is for the best!

I would just love to know what my ex is thinking............HELP!

[numero_uno]

......please help!

[Layna]

I'm a little confused here. She texted 'things aren't working', you replied 'I agree', and then you both simply cut all contact completely? I don't understand. So you called her bluff and then simply let it be, not even inviting a conversation about why she thinks things aren't working out? In her eyes I would not have seen that as the behaviour of someone who still cares, so she might well have gotten the impression you're just as over the relationship as she was. It's no surprise you don't know what she is thinking if you never even asked her why she thought things weren't working.
That said, she broke up with you via text. That says a lot about how much respect she appears to have for you and the relationship.

[HeartIsAching]

So... she said "things aren't working" and you agreed with her, trying to call her bluff...

This is what game-playing gets you. Enjoy it. Your relationship's over.

[bushybeard11]

Listen- regardless of how you responded to her text - she wants the relationship to end. I understand you're hurt and what to consume yourself with how it ended - but you're better off moving on - give it time you;ll feel better - in the meantime - try and put her out of your mind. there will be plenty of other girls in due time

[numero_uno]

Thanks for the responses guys! Do you think i should read anything into the text that she sent?

[MerryH]

Do you think i should read anything into the text that she sent?

No. That was closure. That's it.

[numero_uno]

Please explain how that is closure

[reeba]

I can't believe no one is commenting on the way she broke it off. TEXT. Is that the appropriate way to end a 2 year relationship?

If she wanted to 'discuss' or 'talk things out', she would have called. Calling is communicating......not texting. She didn't want to discuss anything. She had no desire to work anything out. Anyway, do you want to sit there as she tells you all of your little flaws that she isn't happy with. That isn't reconciling, that is a personal attack, where either you will attack back, or say you will change your whole persona (which only works on a short term basis and you will break up again anyway as you drift back to your normal ways)

It takes TWO people to make a relationship work. In this case I would say, she doesn't want it to work out. The relationship is over.

[numero_uno]

maybe i'm as bad as her..........

1) agreeing with her on the break up, and not begging for her back

2) not replying to the text she sent last week

[MaidenMinx]

The text she sent last week wasn't something to respond to. She was trying to make sure you're ok to help her get over her guilt. She shouldn't get off that lightly.

Yes it is completely over, at least for the foreseeable future. You already think she has moved on to someone else - which would explain the cowardice of the texting break up - and regardless of whether she has or not, would you really want to put your self in a position to be treated like this again? I hope not.

[numero_uno]

But how can i move on?

I like to think i put my all into the relationship, and if that's not good enough for her how will it be good enough for anyone else

I just hope one day she regrets it!!!!

[MaidenMinx]

You move on breath by breath, moment by moment. Just like everyone else. You are hurting bad right now. It WILL get easier. What you need to start doing is arming yourself with as many positive thoughts that you can muster. Starting with turning around the not being good enough thought. How she treated you is not a reflection of you character, it's a blatant depiction of hers. How could you miss such a personality flaw? Because love has the ability to blind you to the negative in a prospective mate. Now that you are aware of this you can learn which flaws you are willing to put up with and ones you won't. Next time you'll look for someone who has the ability to be a little more direct.

Will she regret it? It's likely she will regret how she did it but not what she did. Apparently in the majority of break ups where the female breaks up with the male, the guy didn't see it coming at all, where as the girl was already emotionally detached. It's sad but true.

[numero_uno]

Thanks guys this is really helping!!!

It will be hard for me to get closure when i don't know what I did wrong

Do you think she'll be wondering what i'm up to?

[MaidenMinx]

She will wonder what you're up to, though try not to do the same.

I have a feeling you didn't do anything 'wrong' per se, that she just grew bored or met someone else. I know that sounds terrible but it's actually a good thing. It means that you guys were likely incompatible for the truly long term and it now leaves you open to find someone new. May I ask how old you both are?

Keep your chin up. Relationships are hard work and it takes both partners to be willing to put the effort in. You will find some one who will both match and be worth your effort.